Chapter 17
Today was not a good day for me.
When I woke up in the morning, my sleeping habit was so bad that it took me a terrible amount of time to fix it, I was ranked last in the morning news in the star ranking, and I spilled soy sauce on my new clothes.
It's best not to go out on a day like that, but it was almost Toraga's birthday and I really wanted to go out to pick out a present.
Thinking about it, I should have stopped at that time. It was too late to regret it even if I had done it the next day.
I put on some light makeup, changed out of my dirty clothes and into new clothes, and headed out for the town.
I picked out a present for Toraga, a bouquet of flowers, and reserved a cake.
I decided to borrow some money from my allowance and celebrate Toramasa's birthday with a lot of money.
With this in mind, I moved from place to place around town.
I wondered what Toramasa liked. I thought about that as I went around the men's stores, but I couldn't find anything that I liked.
But there was one thing that I liked.
It was a men's accessory store that sold silver accessories.
I thought he might like it because he often wears silver accessories, so I bought it.
There were many to choose from, but I went for the necklace with the motif of a one-winged wing.
At first glance, I thought it would look good on Toramasa. No, Toramasa looks good no matter what she wears, but I think I chose the one that looked the best on her. I have no sense of style, but I did my best to think of it in my own way.
I don't know if I can give it to Toramasa. I may get scared and not be able to give it to him.
If I do, I will hang it in my room. I bought it because I thought it would suit Toraga like a friend from a previous life. That's all right.
Just imagining Toraya wearing this necklace is satisfying.
I had the necklace wrapped. The color is of course black, Toraya's color.
With the necklace in a paper bag, I made a reservation for a cake and a bouquet of flowers.
It's fun to think about Toramasa in this way. I smile as I imagine how happy he will be with the cake and how delicious it will be.
I wonder how long it has been since I walked around the town.
My legs were getting tired, so I decided to take a short break and went into a nearby café.
Under a white parasol, I saw Hanamiya-san and Ki-kun happily chatting and drinking tea.
The two of them together made the ordinary, everyday scene seem as unreal as a still photograph.
When I saw them, I felt a cold sensation run through my body, as if my blood froze in my veins.
Hanamiya-san was talking to Ki-kun, and the fact that he was talking to Ki-kun meant that the love triangle event was indeed Toramiya, which meant that Toramiya-san was going to fall in love with Hanamiya-san….
My heart beat loudly.
The pain made me involuntarily crouch down on the spot, holding my chest.
I should have known it, I should have known it from the time Hanamiya-san was talking with Toramiya and Ki-kun, but I still wanted to think that it was just my imagination…but Toramiya has been so kind to me lately that I had strange expectations for him…
My breathing naturally becomes ragged. I take deep breaths to try to regulate my breathing.
Of course the two of them would notice if I did that.
Ki-kun called out to me as I crouched down.
Hey, are you all right? I looked up at his voice and saw Ki-kun's eyes widen a little as they met mine.
I looked up at him and his eyes widened a little.
Ki-kun closed his mouth when I said that much.
However, that voice was overheard by Hanamiya-san, who came to me with Ki-kun.
With a surprised expression on her face, Hanamiya-san recited Ki-kun's words, “Toramaga-kun's…?” After reciting Toki-kun's words, he opened his big eyes even wider and looked at my face.
I don't know why she had that expression on her face. But I knew that Mr. Hanamiya reacted that way because he had something on his mind about Toramiya, so I held my aching heart and stared at the ground.
I didn't need to look in the mirror to see that my face had turned blue from the bloodlust. I had forgotten how to take a deep breath and thought I would just have to repeat shallow breaths and wait for the time to pass.
Hanamiya-san quietly approached me, crouched down near me and whispered in my ear, “Kimiharu.
Kimiharu.
I widened my eyes so wide that they could not get any bigger, and looked at Hanamiya-san's face as she murmured this.
I think Hanamiya-san saw my reaction and sensed it.
She put her hand over her mouth, widened her eyes even wider, and opened her mouth to say, “You…. She opened her mouth.
But before I could ask her the rest of the story, I got up and ran away.
I know that it is useless to run away from this place now. Hanamiya-san had already seen my face.
I've been found out.
Hanamiya-san has found out about me.
Yesterday, Ichika and the others found out, and today, Hanamiya-san found out.
I should have stayed home quietly. I should have run away when I found them.
But it was already too late to regret. With tears streaming down my face, I ran home and held my head in my helpless situation.
And what Hanamiya-san muttered was an abbreviation for this world, this game, and no one in this world would know it.
This means that Hanamiya-san has the same previous life as me. ……
Maybe Hanamiya-san likes both Ki-kun and Toramiya, and he will be told to stay away from Toramiya.
Or maybe he only likes Toramasa and was there with Ki-kun for the love triangle event.
Or maybe he likes Ki-kun, but he was raising Toramasa's sensitivity for the sake of the love triangle event with Toramasa…or if Toramasa already has feelings for Hanamiya-san.
–If that happens, I won't be able to stay by Toramasa's side.
An unprecedented sense of despair overcame me.
I should have known, I should have known that this would happen, but when I saw it happening, I realized that I had been naive in my thinking and my resolve.
I want to talk to someone about it. But I can't talk to anyone.
There is no way I can tell Ichika about Hanamiya-san.
There is no way I can tell her that Hanamiya-san is the heroine of this world and that there is a love triangle between Toramiya and Ki-kun.
What should I do?
That's all I can think about. I can't think of a good solution.
At that moment, my cell phone rang unexpectedly. I checked who was calling and answered the call with a trembling hand.
Hello?
I heard from Huang Ye.”
My heart ached again at those words.
My teeth trembled with fear, even though I was not cold from fear of hearing Toraya's words.
Toraga-san…I want to see you right now.”
I found my mouth saying that.
At my words, Toramasa on the other end of the phone said, “I'll go to your house.” I'll go to your house.
I know he said that out of kindness. But I really wanted to see him in his room.
If it's not too much trouble, I want to go to your house.”
I understand. Be careful.
After receiving Toramasa's approval, I left the house dressed as I was.
I ran straight to Toramasa's house with my tears still in my eyes.
I felt relieved when I saw a familiar apartment building in sight. My legs, which usually stopped due to nervousness, did not stop now.
The wait for the elevator to take me to Toramasa's room felt like a very long time.
When I pressed the intercom, Toraya immediately opened the door.
Toraya is right in front of me. The usual Toramasa is there.
When he saw my face, he rolled his eyes. I would usually enter Toramasa's house saying, “Sorry to disturb you,” but this was not the case. But today, without saying a word, I hugged Toramasa who opened the front door for me.
Normally, I would never be able to do such a thing.
But now I wanted to feel Toramasa's body, his sight, his smell, everything.
Toraya gently embraced me from the front. When I closed the front door and took off my shoes, Toraga took me in his arms from the front.
We went to the living room and sat down on the sofa.
As I sat on his lap, I pressed my face against his chest and cried, stifling my voice.
Toramasa spoke softly to me.
I heard that Hanamiya found out about you.
I'm sorry.
I don't blame you. It's no wonder he found out.
I hid it from you… I'm sorry.
It's all right. I'll tell him. You don't have to worry about anything.
He's so kind. Toraga is really kind. Those kind words make me cry even more. I can't stop.
Toraga told me not to worry, but I can't do that.
Because Hanamiya-san might have the same previous life as me, or rather, it might be confirmed…
I don't know what to do. The best thing is to talk to Hanamiya-san, but I'm too scared to do that.
If he says to my face that he likes Toraga or the two of us, all I can do is back down.
I can't stand up to Hanamiya-san or the heroine. My feelings for Toramasa are as strong as anyone else's, but my position is different. I'm a mob in a game that doesn't even make up for the heroine, and if I had to choose between me and Hanamiya-san, ten out of ten people would definitely choose Hanamiya-san.
It's sad. It's frustrating. I wanted to be a heroine too.
If we had the same previous life, I wanted to be the heroine.
Then Toramiya might have loved me.
I can only be used by Toraga even if I try my best.
I am afraid. I am afraid to know what Hanamiya-san thinks, what he thinks about me, what he thinks about Toramasa.
Toramiya-san, please use me more.”
I could see Toraya gasp as I said this.
Without waiting for Toraga's reply, I opened my mouth again.
I'll do anything you want, just use me.”
I asked him, “Why did you suddenly start saying that? Did he say something to you?”
I didn't, nothing was said, but I really wanted to say it now… I don't want to not be able to tell you later.
Calm down. Why did you want to say such a thing?
I'm sorry. I don't know what to do, I can't calm down. I'm scared, I'm scared… I'm sorry. I'm sorry I bothered you.
I don't think you're bothering me. This is our problem.
It's fine until you graduate from high school. After that, I won't bother you anymore, just for now…”
The first thing to do is to make sure that you have a good time with your family and friends.
He looked at my crying face from the front and said, “Wait a minute. He opened his mouth.
Why did you wait until you graduated from high school?”
Toraga looked at me with a pained expression on his face.
I stared into Toraya's eyes, unable to respond immediately to his words.
I'm not sure why I would wait until I graduate from high school…because once I graduate from high school, Toramasa…in the game, I'll be healed from my heart wounds, and Hanamiya-san and I will be lovers. …… Once my heart wounds are healed, I'll be of no use to you. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that. I'm not sure how much I'd like to see this happen, but I'd like to see it happen. Even if that's the case, this is Toramiya's life, and I want him to live it the way he wants to…. If Toramasa has someone he loves, I will be in the way…. If I am no longer of any use to him, then we will part ways….
I thought about it and then I realized….
No, I was thinking only of the Toramiya in the game.
The Toramasa I knew became lovers with Hanamiya-san, and the game ended when Toramiya graduated, so I didn't know what life was like after that.
No, the epilogue had a still picture of them smiling happily as adults at their wedding, but it still didn't seem realistic, and even though it said a few years later, it was only a moment in the game…. That's all I knew of adult Toraga….
This is a game world, but it's not a game. If Hanamiya-san and I couldn't become lovers… Even if we couldn't become lovers, even after graduating from high school, Toramiya and his friends would continue to live and have a future.
I should have known that Toramiya would live on and grow old, but I only thought of Toramiya as a high school student.
I had always wanted to be by his side, but in my mind Toramasa was still a high school student.
I wanted to stay by his side for as long as I could, but in my mind Toraga was still a high school student.
I don't want to leave you…but…but…I…”
I'm…? I'm a mob…? If Hanamiya-san likes Toraga, I have no choice but to give up…?
Eh, but what if Mr. Hanamiya didn't attack Toraga, what if his likability was low? If he had captured Ki-kun ……, then I think Toramiya would like Hanamiya-san for a while, and I would only be a link between the two? Because it's impossible for Toramasa to like me…I can't imagine that…. I can't imagine that Toramiya would fall in love with me while wishing that he would feel the same way about me…. So when the person that Toramasa thinks is the most important next to Hanamiya-san appears, I will stop being involved in Toramasa's life…. –I'm not going to be a part of Toramiya's life…….
I'm …….”
I won't be able to stay away from Toramiya.
I'm not sure if it's a good idea to have a newborn or not, but I'm sure it's a good idea to have a newborn.
I'm not sure if I'll be able to stay by Toramasa's side after high school graduation, but if the time comes when I have to leave then.
The longer I stay, the harder it will be to say goodbye…”
I can't have another person I love this much.
If we stay together for a long time, I'm sure I'll die of sadness when we part.
I originally intended to stay with you for only one year…”
As he said this, Toraga's expression turned startled and his eyes opened wide.
His mouth would open and close in an attempt to speak. After repeating this several times, Toraya let out a few words as if he was trying to squeeze out a voice.
I'm selfish.”
I shook my head at his words.
No, I am selfish. I want to be by your side, so I let myself be by your side like this, and I even put you through a lot of trouble…”
I was so happy to be able to be a part of your life,” he said.
I always thought you were by my side.
If I stay with you all the time, I'll get in the way when Toramasa-san finds someone he likes.
No, no… I was thinking that you would be by my side all the time.
What do you mean by that?”
I don't know what Toraga is talking about.
I don't know what he is trying to tell me.
When Toraya opened his mouth to say “I am,” an incoming call rang from Toraya's cell phone.
Toramasa's words stopped at the sound, and after listening to the sound of the incoming call playing for a while, Toramasa shifted his body a little and took out the cell phone in his pants pocket.
Toramasa looked at the phone and after a short pause, picked up the phone.
What is it?”
I heard Toraga say in a gruff voice.
I had no idea who was on the other end of the phone.
I thought I would just have to put all my energy into my body and wait for that call to end, but Toraga's words made that impossible.
With the phone in his ear, Toraga looked me in the eye.
Hanamiya wants to talk to you.”
I could do nothing but gulp at his words, “What…? I could do nothing but gulp out a few words.
