I Hear Strange Noises in the Health Room. 1

Chapter 1 – 1. I Want to Fuck a Hero

One warm spring day.

Starting with the news of forest fires, bad substances were detected in food at some company,

There is a high probability that it will rain starting from noon today, so take an umbrella.

The announcer who was only giving out trivial breaking news on TV paused for a moment.

Was it a broadcasting accident?

The man who was watching TV lying on the sofa scratched his stomach and yawned.

Is this not unusual? Now even the sound is turned off.

“…”

The announcer on TV looked to the side instead of the camera for a moment and started chatting with someone.

Ah. If you look closely, you can slightly see a beige hoodie at the end.

Judging by the fact that he has a bit of a poopy stomach, it’s probably the production team? It looks like he’s having a conversation with those people.

It seems important. Now, you are even handed paper.

The announcer stands there and starts flipping through a few pages. Soon enough, his head tilts to the side.

Maybe it’s because he has a nice face, but even though it’s an innocuous gesture, it’s cute.

After talking for nearly a minute, she neatly organized several sheets of warm A4 paper that looked like she had just pulled them out and then shared the next news.

“… Ah, over there.”

This time, I stutter.

Hmm. Sometimes I see memes like this on the internet.

A meme where the announcer accidentally stutters.

Last time, an announcer was so embarrassed that he even cried. If you search, it will come up.

The man stretched out his arm and picked up the phone that was lying on the sofa table.

And then,

I faced an Internet window filled with news.

“Bow, this is breaking news. A baby spewing fire from its mouth… ? Appears in Canada… “

What kind of bullshit is this?

I blinked.

1.

Honestly.

I thought that if I lived like this, I would be able to make fun of a few ‘heroes’.

“Ugh… “

Because that’s the image of a ‘villain’.

A vicious criminal.

Terrorist.

An idiot with a screw missing anywhere.

An orphan with an unfortunate family history.

Garbage that eats away at society.

Even if they get scolded like this, they are a bit cool when you see them when they are young.

Conversely, what is the image of a hero like?

Mascot.

Idol.

Elite.

A judge who destroys evil.

And, sacrificing one’s body for others…

A real idiot.

I thought that some of those heroes, if they stayed as villains for a long time, would one day be able to use them like toilet paper.

TV.

Smartphone.

YouTube.

Various eyewitness accounts.

Certification photos posted on the community.

The hero who smiled brightly and gave people hope,

Without the cheering people knowing, without anyone knowing.

Quietly.

Bring him to a dirty, narrow room filled with the villain’s body odor,

On an even more cramped bed, stained with used condoms.

After forcing the rebel hero to lie down,

I thought I would be able to see him gasping as his dick and he was pounded into the villain.

When I was roughly in my early to mid 20s, I lived a happy villain life day after day, dreaming of such hope-filled dreams.

He was a teenager who had just become an adult and had a large body.

… When I think about it now, I was probably at an age where sexual desire took priority over everything else.

“… Ugh…”

Did I shed too much blood?

I sat down and leaned against the wall, letting out an ugly groan while tightly holding his right waist, which had been cut by his scythe.

The pain, which was as hot as being burned by fire, is now gradually fading away.

At the same time, his head goes blank and his vision becomes blurry.

7 years old. When he first gained his abilities, he never thought he would die like a common criminal.

I held on to his waist with my tattered arms and tried to somehow maintain my breathing.

However, it doesn’t work.

I guess it’s probably because it’s the first time I’ve been hurt this badly.

I did one exercise every day without stopping, but was it all just meaningless balloon muscles? .

“Dog, same year… “

If he was a combat-related transcendentalist, he would have combat.

If I was going to be subdued this easily, I would have just closed my eyes and at least spit on that proud face.

In the end, instead of picking on the hero, he ended up dying like an asshole without even being able to do a single double insult.

“Ugh…”

Unfortunately, I can’t spit fire out of my mouth.

You can’t make a big window out of ice like a famous hero and cut through the roof of a building.

I can’t even summon a spirit to take revenge on my behalf,

Like our company ‘Named’, we don’t have the power to sort everything out with just a sword.

I only have one thing.

Well, it’s a healing ability that quickly repairs wounds where it’s touched…

“Fuck…”

Even this is not used anymore.

Let alone the fact that my ribs were shattered and I needed a surgical procedure,

That’s why I couldn’t concentrate on using my abilities at all because it hurt so bad from stabbing my organs.

I think I finally understand what it means to feel like you’re really hurting.

When children get injured outside, they should be treated more quickly.

Belated regrets came flooding back.

“Huh… Huh…”

Is this how a doctor who can’t heal his own body feels?

It’s so shitty that I can’t even laugh out loud.

“Life…”

… If I had known this would be the case, I would have pretended not to notice when that rude bitch suddenly contacted me for a drink a few days ago.

If that were the case, even if he couldn’t fuck a famous hero, wouldn’t he have fucked a famous villain to his heart’s content until the bed sheets got soaked?

Of course, a few nameless villains were brought into the house…

Well, they were just for rehearsal.

They are just rehearsed bitches who lose interest in giving in in an instant, saying things like “Master” And “Master” Just because they violated me for one night.

If he were a ‘hero’, he would have resisted until the end.

This kind of violence doesn’t feel good at all.

When you say something nice, stop it.

As soon as it’s over, I’ll kill you.

Okay. That’s how fun it is to break it.

“… Puhuh…”

What’s the use of it all now?

I sighed deeply and slipped off the wall and lay down on the floor.

The slippery blood that soaks the body is like chocolate filled with water.

It seems like everything that was hot and oozing out has cooled down, but now it’s cold and sticks to the body and dries hard.

I closed my eyes.

Now I’m tired of even keeping my eyes open.

They say that grandpas can have sex even if they have the strength to lift a spoon.

Pure gurada, that is.

Is it really because death is so close?

Every single thing I regret dying and leaving behind comes to mind in my memory.

All sex videos that were filmed for blackmail ended up being useless.

Numerous oversized condoms prepared with expiration dates so you can have sex at any time.

And a notepad where I wrote down what weaknesses each hero had and whether there were any openings for me to dig into.

… Umm. It’s only related to dirty things.

“…”

I should have lived a nice life.

Without saying any cool final words like a hero, I was lying down in a puddle of blood and sighing, leaving behind the typical villain-like thoughts.

My breathing is gradually getting lighter.

Slowly, as if someone was pressing down on the solar plexus. Slowly.

I was losing my mind like that.

I smelled the bitter coffee and blinked again.

“There is no need to read it in such detail. Transcendants in the healing world are rare, so I will give you the best treatment in the industry.”

“… Yes?”

“No. We’re not in a relationship where we should talk over scraps of paper in the first place.”

A loud applause is heard as if to say, “Look here.”

Afterwards, a right hand with massive muscles stretches out before my eyes.

The area under his rolled-up shirt sleeves was full of hair, even for a human.

So that’s…

Did you say gorilla?

Of mutation-type abilities.

“Please take good care of me in the future, Seo Woo Jin.”

“…”

It was a scenery that seemed unfamiliar but quickly became familiar.

An interior full of vanity thanks to a strong backing.

With that theme in mind, this is a sofa that is shiny and oozing out, probably because it is a used product.

… That cheap bitch really liked it,

I’ve never used a coffee machine because I only drink mixed coffee.

And.

This furry arm in front of you.

This face with an unpleasant smile.

I knew it very well.

“… What are you doing? Woojin. It’s been a few days and you’re still sober? Why is he so dazed?”

10 years ago.

On the day when I had just become an adult and drank a lot of alcohol, he was the guy who dragged me into a dark alley and said, ‘I’m offering you a scout.’

He said he had been keeping an eye on you, a transcendental person in the healing world, for a few days, and was telling a creepy story like a stalker.

Of course, since my future dream was to be a villain, I was cast on the street without much friction.

This is not what is important now.

Why are the memories of that time repeating before my eyes?

“…”

After calmly organizing the situation, I came to a conclusion.

I guess the past… It seems like it is.

It may sound very crazy, but what can you do when the scene in front of you is like that?

Oh, that’s right. The magic light.

This may be the light.

However, it is quite slow to think of as a flash of light that is said to pass by quickly.

What on earth is this?

Did I go crazy for a moment?

Could it be a dream?

I was staring at the furry hand held out in front of me,

─Slap!

“What…”

He hit my cheek so hard that I heard a cracking sound from my head.

Slap.

Slap.

Slap.

Hit me more until the question is resolved,

Also on the other side.

Slap.

Slap.

Slap.

Blood and spit splatter on the table.

Strongly.

“… Hmm.”

It’s strange.

Even after doing this, the scene before my eyes does not change.

I swallowed the blood that had accumulated in my mouth and looked down at my furry hands clenched into fists in embarrassment.

It hurts.

It hurts so much that I know it’s reality.

Moreover, it was clearly the cheek that was hit, but the tip of the nose was also sore.

I wonder if I’m getting a nosebleed.

He traced the tip of his nose with his index finger, then touched his face and used his healing powers to relieve the heat.

… It sinks.

As if this was real, just like I knew.

I couldn’t understand so I was blank for a moment, and the nosebleed that had just burst came out without me noticing and wet my lips.

I don’t know if it really tastes like blood or not, but I drank a lot because the inside of my cheek burst when I slapped him earlier, so there was no need to taste it.

It’s dirty because it comes from the nose.

Anyway.

Did I really return to the past with my memories?

Or, have I become a psychopath who thinks he has returned to the past?

After blinking for a while, I pulled out a tissue from the tissue box on the table and roughly wiped away the nosebleed.

Wouldn’t it be so sad if it was the latter?

So, it would be better to force yourself to think of it as the former.

If you live as a villain, your hideout will be ambushed by a hero and you will die 10 years later.

I, who was thought to have died there, returned 10 years ago through an unknown process.

The future life decision is right in front of you.

A reality without any lies.

“Whoa…”

A pile of red toilet paper piles up on top of the trash can where the scorched candy shells were.

“What are you doing?”

“…”

“Woojin?”

“…”

… Ah. For your information, this guy in front of you is one of the combatants.

For reference, this is the position where you encounter the most heroes,

For reference, this is the position that is easiest to pick on a hero who lost in battle,

For reference, according to what I heard two months ago when we were alone at a drinking party,

It is still called Ada.

“Hey, I’m scared, so talk to me…”

“I’m sorry.”

So.

I was looking at a contract with decent terms, excluding only the four major insurances.

“What?”

“It’s just that I suddenly started wanting to live a healthy life.”

“What?”

“So I slapped him in the face to come to his senses.”

Taking advantage of this opportunity.

“Huh?”

“This contract. I want to pretend it never happened.”

“Nothing, what?”

“Goodbye.”

Villain.

I hit him right away.

They say I can somehow avoid dying in 10 years.

A job like this…

Because it’s an asshole job that even heroes can’t handle properly.