## Chapter 121 – Between Monster and Human (1)
‘So… is this the last one…?’
Her arms pinned by slimy tentacles, the limp female beastkin hung in the air before dropping onto the root-woven mattress, sprawling out.
“Haa… Haaah…”
She had been sporting something not long ago(?), but now, with a rather feminine expression, she breathed heavily. I watched her, checking for any side effects.
I felt a bit bored, to be honest.
Having sent Vivian and Lanie, who were always stuck to me like glue, off to Count Proden’s estate, I was left alone, simply adjusting the bodies of the female beastkin. A strange emptiness seemed to creep into me.
‘I wasn’t always like this.’
My life had always been like that.
Always alone, with no one approaching, no one wanting me.
I was just breathing, born as a living being, and doing something to eat and survive.
But was this what a change of heart felt like?
A deformed relationship born of abduction and confinement.
Yet, there were those who began to want me.
Being surrounded by such people, I felt emotions I hadn’t felt before.
‘Ugh!! Vivian, are you…
Ah!! Did you gain weight?
Your thighs feel a little tight, don’t they?’
‘Ugh… Th-that can’t… be… Ah…
Tch… Later, I’ll walk around…
the outside of the flower bed… Aah…!! Ah!! Aah!!
There… press there… Ungh…!!’
There was someone chattering non-stop, and someone who seemed bothered by me but still cared.
Was it strange that I felt more alive now, watching them?
Was it natural that I felt lonely now?
Thinking about it, it was true.
Arakne, who told me her name before leaving, Rea, and Pina, who left with the innocent beastkin children who were trembling in fear.
They might have been suspicious and wary of me, but at the moment of leaving, they completely turned their backs on me.
I thought that was their way of expressing trust.
Trusting the words of a monster who might stab them in the back at any moment, signaling that they no longer needed to be wary.
Rea, who I had forced to do things she might have regretted, left with a small smile and her name, and Pina understood my position even after seeing what I had done to her kin with her own eyes.
Would it have been like this before?
If I were living a normal life, would I have been able to earn that trust?
‘I don’t know.’
Was becoming a monster not always a bad thing?
But if I acted like a monster, showed this monstrous side of me.
“Aah!! Aah!! Hee!! Come in!!
I’m so full inside… I’m going to die!!”
“Aah!! Stab me deeper!!
I love it when you nibble on my nipples!! Hng!!”
“I’m… coming…!! Aaaaaah!!”
If I confined women to use as nourishment, forced them to give birth to a colony, and in the end, turned even the smallest piece of their ruined bodies into compost.
At the end of a miserable future that might come to me someday, could I confidently say that I had lived well?
‘Now that I say it was my choice…
Did you know? What would happen to me…’
The image of the ‘woman’ with her beautiful crimson hair fluttering in the breeze, stroking a small, ugly flower bud with a smile, suddenly came to mind.
Smiling as she offered me her body, how much did she really know?
Did she know that I would live like a rat in a hole in the flower bed for the rest of my life?
Or did she know that I would cross the line and burn in the hot flames of brilliant magic?
Her light-filled eyes, which wavered when I said, ‘I want to become a tree,’ now make me hesitate.
Me, living in the journey to meet her again.
To achieve that goal, should I hold my breath, or…
‘Can’t it be like this…’
The her who told me she loved me, what she loved was, the image of me reflected in her shining eyes.
Was it the image of me living as a human, or did it not matter if I was a monster?
But at least I knew now.
I was starting to cross the line, gradually becoming something other than human.
‘I miss her…’
I needed a restraint.
Something to hold onto me as I gradually became a monster, forgetting my humanity.
Someone to remember the human inside, even if I eventually became a monster, and to guide me.
‘When Vivian comes back…
I need to think about something.’
“Excuse me…”
.
.
.
.
.
.
How long has it been since I came here?
Gently pushing her disheveled hair, which had become rough due to recent sleep deprivation, behind her ears, Yui slowly rose from her seat, looking haggard.
At least before, even though they were strangers, Pina’s presence alone was reassuring, giving her a little peace of mind.
But from the moment she realized that she and the children had disappeared, the anxiety that began to creep back from the depths of her heart began to consume her, and now, in this place where she had no one to lean on, she could no longer think.
“Don’t come… Don’t…”
Not only did she have trouble sleeping, but she also collapsed from exhaustion. When she woke up, she had to check her body repeatedly to see if anything had happened to her while she was asleep.
In that state, it was impossible for her to relax, take off her clothes, and take a bath as if asking to be eaten.
In the end, the mental fatigue and pain only accumulated, and there was only one thing she could choose.
To create something that could give her even a little peace of mind.
When the time came, Enic would open the door to her room, and each time, she would come out and spend time checking on the condition of the female beastkin.
It was as if she was giving herself a daily routine, but at least performing medical procedures was something that happened within her realm of choice.
She didn’t know what Enic’s intentions were, but at least being able to do what she could was one of the comforts.
Enic’s bodily fluids had the effect of promoting cell division, so the female beastkin who generally swallowed the juice rarely had any surgical problems, but as always, things that happened in this den were not normal.
Among the female beastkin who could only eat syrup-like nutrient solutions and bodily fluids, some individuals would inevitably have digestive problems depending on individual differences, and those in poor condition became her patients.
“Eunghit!! Ah!! Aah!! Hngah!!”
And from the moment she finished her work and returned to her room, the sticky moans that leaked from beyond the root-woven wall assaulted her eardrums, causing her body to tremble.
But the fact that those sounds were being made meant that Enic wasn’t paying attention to her, so she could regain some peace of mind from such absurd things.
When Yui gently raised her head and looked through the gap in the wall, she saw a graphic scene of something thick thrusting in and out of the crotch of a female beastkin arching her back like a bow.
The fountains that gushed from the crotches of the females every time they had a chance, to the point where they seemed like they would collapse from dehydration at any moment, were literally soaking the floor.
Of course, looking at the female’s expression, which was lost in pleasure, it might not seem unhappy at all.
But from the perspective of someone who already knew what the ending would be, no matter what flowery language she used, the sight could never be beautiful.
“Hiss… Hiss… Hiss…”
The horror of the past suddenly came to mind.
The sight of the female beastkin collapsing in front of her, as if her sister’s image was being replayed, gradually drove Yui herself into a crucible of fear.
In the monster’s den, now with no one to rely on.
Perhaps Pina and the other beastkin children were also struggling among those females, spewing bodily fluids until they returned to the earth someday.
But looking at that scene, the only thing that gave her hope was the certainty that Enic was not touching her.
But Enic, who could not communicate with her, would someday violate her in the same miserable way as the females in that room.
From being a pitiful girl who relied on her sister in her family and lived in her warmth, and then met a friend and lived in her warmth, she was now treated only as a female with a body that could bear children and provide nourishment.
Was it from that moment on?
Yui Kazunomiya began to observe Enic’s every move with interest for the first time.
Whether the purpose was survival, self-consolation, or personal interest, she couldn’t even think of it herself.
