Chapter 219 – 213 – If I Loved You Just a Little
[I am An-Tul-Camagon. He was a sea pirate and a warrior, and was reborn as the fear of the deep sea through the baptism of the Demon King… Are you listening?]
While the whale-sized devil was introducing himself, Eshen drank a whole bottle of honey beer.
Each time Eshen’s throat cleared, his skin turned red. He is expressing with his whole body that he doesn’t give a damn.
The demons of the Great Ocean tribe, the devil’s minions, shed exclamations of admiration. Not for her outstanding beauty, but for her courage to stand alone against threats like their leader.
They were misunderstanding something.
The demon, who introduced himself as An-tul-Camagon, warned by fluttering his tentacles and gills.
[Anyway, I will take over this city. First, offer a sacrifice in return for protection.]
“Sacrifice?”
[I should have said this a few days ago. If I don’t give that beautiful mayor’s mother as my bride-]
“He was a man a year ago. He was the mayor of this city. He even had a portrait in his mansion.”
[···What kind of bizarre bullshit is that!]
An-tul-Kamagon thought of the statue of Visserk that had sunk into the deep sea not long ago.
The statue of a middle-aged man with his half-bald head and heavy belly looked like a wealthy man, with depictions suggesting a gold ring or necklace. Reading the nameplate at the foot of the statue, he was the mayor of Vyserk.
For that reason, Bisserk was selected as the next target for plunder. And because of that, he met his first love in Bisserk.
Appears to be around 20 years old. Short stature and strangely easy-going attitude. Since he is the mayor’s aide, he is even intelligent.
Every time she sets, she sneaks her eyes out of the water and takes a peek at her, her blonde hair sparkling like the sandy beach.
And what is it… A statue of a middle-aged man with a thick stomach?
Of course, I heard rumors that the men in the city had turned into women, but I thought it was just a bizarre rumor…
The devil’s innocence was cruelly trampled by his imagination. An-tul-Camagon, whose heart was torn apart by doubts, shed bloody tears and roared.
[You’re telling lies because you don’t want to reveal it. In that case, all you have to do is trample on the city and take it by force!]
“The reaction is so strong. It looks like they’re going to cut off my dick.”
Eshen sneered, throwing the empty bottle back. And I stumbled a few times.
No matter how you look at it, it was not the attitude of someone who came out to fight. The Oceanians looked as if they had finally understood something.
The demon, who was offended by Eshen’s ridicule, adjusted his ax and spear and laughed at Eshen.
[Surely you are that woman? She has never heard of it. For some reason, she left the glory of the special party and walked around alone pretending to be a wandering hero.]
“What should I do?”
[Looking at the expression, I think I know the story. Have you ever suffered a broken heart? Are you trying to die by someone else’s hands?]
Eshen’s expression distorted and his eyes sparkled. Camagon didn’t notice it.
[If that happens, my bride-]
Camagon, who tends to fall in love quickly, suggested that sincerely, without any intention of ridicule.
However, I had no idea that the other person would show acceptance so quickly and physically. Eshen was literally soaring, spreading his limbs towards Camagon’s face.
“Am I? Dying? Borrowing someone else’s hand?”
Of course, Eshen’s answer was different from Camagon’s thoughts.
His limbs were folded. His elbows and knees closed like a tiger’s fangs. The bitten head of the devil flew away.
Eshen, who had landed in the water behind Camagon, roared as he threw his torn off head away.
“Do you think I’m going to die? Someone saved my life!”
Kamagon’s body, which opened its arms as if to embrace, staggered backwards after Eshen’s shout.
The Oceanians looked back and forth between their deceased leader and Eshen. They couldn’t even guess how strong they had to be to do something like that.
What was even worse was that Eshen was rolling his bright eyes and looking for his next target to vent his anger.
“Well, we are.”
“I will return to the sea on my own.”
“···Can I do that?”
“If it appears again, search for it.”
The Ocean Tribe kept it in mind.
The people in the port who had been watching with bated breath cheered. Eshen waved his hand, salty water dripping from his head and clothes. People who tried to rinse their mouths flinched and backed away.
“Give back what you promised. Don’t make a fuss like you’re treating a special guest.”
The reward they promised was alcohol. Eshen loaded the square liquor box onto the drake’s saddle and jumped onto the drake’s neck with the momentum to skip even a farewell.
Visserk’s mayor and aide quickly blocked the dragon’s path.
“Now, wait a minute! You saved Visserk’s tomorrow.”
“And my virginity!”
“Be quiet now, father! Anyway, I don’t think people will look kindly on the city of Visserk if we let a benefactor of the city’s history go like this!”
“I remember it clearly. Isn’t he the one who defeated the Succubus Queen? We owe you a lot of debt that we haven’t yet repaid!”
Father and daughter, or mother and daughter, clung to Eshen by his collar. Eshen pouted.
“No matter what you say to stop me, it’s no use. I’m going. There are reasons why I can’t stay for long.”
“What is that situation?”
Eshen looked back at the city center with gloomy eyes. Thanks to restoration work and clever administration, Vyserk was transformed into a beautiful city that is hard to imagine what it used to be.
However, at the same time, some of its original appearance was preserved. As if reminiscing, as if it was intentional. Thick water fog. The old road in front of City Hall with slippery tiles. A street of streetlights that sway vaguely as if dancing.
Just as good memories still remain in the changed heart of Eshen…
“It reminds me of old times.”
“Yes?”
“You see him on every street. Just like in childish songs.”
After thinking about the retort he had made without realizing it, Eshen quickly kicked the dragon’s side.
The mayor looked up blankly at the rainy sky and winced. It felt like something warm, not like rainwater, had fallen on my shoulder.
While the mayor, who thought it was the drake’s urine, was horrified and shook off his clothes, the drake flew across the sky, sympathizing with its owner.
—————
“···It’s funny. The place you came back to with such an excuse.”
Eshen sighed heavily and leaned his face against the bar table.
“It’s just Checheny.”
“Just Checheni? What a sad story, Eshen! We’re always happy to see you!”
The owner of the hotel’s rooftop bar shouted loudly. The guests also cheered and raised their glasses.
“Now, here comes the hero who single-handedly solved the security gap in Cheshenyi. I’ll give you a drink!”
“Wow! Cheers to the tiger of Chesheny!”
No one considered the drunken Eshen a nuisance. These days, when the world is in chaos and invasions by monsters are becoming more frequent, the strong are welcomed everywhere.
Eshen didn’t even ask for much in return. Like a legendary hero, he only asked for accommodation and alcohol.
Of course, since the Tigris is a wine drinker due to his appetite, it is not usual to break the liquor bill…
“If you can buy a top fighter’s body weight in wine every week, then there is no business left in Chechenyi, where hot springs and vineyards are overflowing.”
“It’s actually a vigilante activity. It’s cool. I’m a fan. Please sign.”
“Don’t be noisy, kids. Don’t make a fuss.”
Eshen, who had almost laid his upper body down on the bar, grinned, looking unpleased at the attention from the flock of followers.
Eshen himself did not know why it had flowed into Chechenyi. Before I knew it, I opened my eyes, frowning with a hangover, and found that I had become Chechenyi’s hero.
I didn’t even know why I came here every day as if I had made this hotel’s bar my base. Was it because it was the hotel I stayed at after catching the mountain troll the other day, so the process was easy because I had a record of my stay?
It wasn’t. After visiting Vyserk today, something became clear. Eshen was chasing her memories.
‘I want to run away from the memories, but it’s painful when I can’t see them.’
Eshen let out a small groan of pain. The followers who were laughing with playful faces flinched.
‘I know. There’s no way you’ll be happy if you see this. But I didn’t want to be a drunkard, right?’
The other customers’ faces hardened as the fist on the bar put on an unusual amount of strength.
This rooftop bar had one rule. This was a rule that did not exist a year ago, when luxury was advocated. If Eshen Taiga begins to rampage in earnest, run downstairs.
‘Well, you probably did the same. Even though I was crying and holding on to him, he probably didn’t want to leave.’
Eshen gritted his teeth.
‘There was just something more important than me, right?’
The reason he soaks his head in alcohol during his waking hours is because he hopes that his unruly thoughts will not reach that point. It is enough to have such a question in your dreams every night.
But is it because we live in a cowardly world where everyone puts aside their work? These days, even drinking seems to be increasingly neglecting my main job. It was becoming increasingly difficult not to feel sad about the empty space in my heart.
The guy who asked me to just call him when I needed him has no answer these days. It feels like there is a thirst in my heart that cannot be quenched by alcohol.
A pit of fire. Or a crippled lump. Memories are like sharp metal that does not bend even in a furnace, sharply scraping away a heart that has already become ashes…
The dwarf owner, who noticed the situation, waved his arm at the other guests and made them retreat. And Eshen knocked on the side of his head.
“With what I always eat? Or with something I don’t usually eat?”
“What do I always eat?”
“Any alcohol.”
“Good. Give me the drink.”
The owner, lifting his orange beard with a smile, deftly shuffled something under his bar and placed it in front of Eshen on his tiptoes.
He emptied his glass in one go. And he frowned.
“I don’t think someone is apt to be a thief, so I try to trick everyone in their face. It’s lemon juice!”
“The discriminatory remarks are very heartbreaking. Even though the tongue is twisted like that, the criticism is clear and clear, so it hurts even more.”
The dwarf looked proudly at Eshen, who glared at him.
“I’m grateful that someone like you protects Chesheny, but I still have to say something. Let’s skip today.”
“Why!”
“I always feel guilty because I wonder if I drank too much and became a drunkard.”
“You’re proud in a very strange way. It’s not because of you, so put it aside and give me a beer.”
“Again, skip today.”
“Are you doing this because of trauma? I have money. I can pay.”
“If a rumor spreads that I received money for alcohol from the hero of Cheşenyi, my neighbors will waterboard me by dipping me in hot spring water.”
The owner’s beard trembled as if he was tired just thinking about it. He then pointed to one side of the bar.
“And the reason I’m asking you to skip today is because I have an important guest.”
Eshen turned around, his expression even more grim. Someone wearing a cloak raised a glass and pretended to know.
Eshen shook his head. Then he put his hand over the bar, grabbed the dwarf owner by the collar, and lifted it up.
“I’m a guest, I’m a fool, just give me a drink.”
“He said he was a really important guest. Judging by the atmosphere, there seemed to be something there.”
“Looking at the atmosphere? Damn. You didn’t even ask who it was?”
“You’re not going to say empty words to the famous Eshen Taiga, ‘I’m an important person to Eshen. Please tell me’. Deal with him with a sober mind. Then, at least half a beer-“
“Okay, give me the drink. My blood alcohol level is dropping!”
“Hey, don’t argue.”
The cloaked man raised his hand. It contained wine.
“I ordered a drink. Would you like to join us?”
Eshen put down his master. Then, he moved as if he was leaping through space and sat down next to the person wearing the cloak.
Eshen snatched the goblet from the bewildered cloak’s hand. Then, he threw it straight into the esophagus and let out an exclamation like a long sigh.
“Kyaaaaa. This is the taste of Chechenyi.”
“In the time I was gone, you have become a Chesheni person. You can talk to people in Chesheni. You even know the taste of Chesheni alcohol.”
Eshen thought he must have been very drunk. Eshen wiped his smile and bit his lip to hold back his yelling. He then grabbed his opponent’s hood and pulled it back.
The other person was smiling an embarrassed smile. Just as I think it could have been revealed in a more romantic way.
There was a familiar face. It was also an unexpected face. He is Eshen’s thirst.
“···I thought you would be surprised to hear my voice.”
I was surprised twice. Because I was drunk, I didn’t realize it right away. And the moment I recognized that tone.
I felt like tears would fall, but it only lasted for a moment. Eshen laughed instead of crying.
“What’s wrong, really?”
“Huh?”
“Stop showing up.”
“···What do you mean?”
The other person was silent for a while as if he didn’t understand, then tilted the wine bottle and poured a new glass. And after a considerable amount of time had passed, I asked back.
“You’re telling me to stop showing up?”
“Don’t act like you don’t know. Just once or twice?”
Eshen pushed the other person’s glass aside and poured it out. The owner flinched. Some of the customers left the bar in a hurry. While muttering things like ‘Oh my, this is just the beginning’.
However, a few cautious people used tables and chairs as shields to hide and kept an eye on them.
“I waited endlessly, believing in the promise that he would return someday, and when you flashed before my eyes, I would jump up in surprise. Saying things like, ‘As expected, you’re a kid who doesn’t say empty words’ or ‘That’s right.'”
“···And?”
“Your face disappeared like sleet melting in the middle of the day, as if it had never appeared before. If you keep being deceived like that, you will find out.”
Eshen stroked her face and covered her eyes. And she bared her teeth.
I didn’t want to show my tears to someone who looked like ‘that guy’. But he wanted you to know that he was angry.
“Oh, maybe Mom is right. That doesn’t happen.”
“What does your mother say?”
“You won’t come back, so don’t have vain hopes. As a bonus, thanks to you, you’re repeating things you thought you didn’t have to hear again. Forget all your regrets and come back to Hwanhwagok. I’ll find a good man for you.”
“Like that.”
“I don’t know if you want to tell me to face you, or if you mean to forget about you and end my drunken life. But. But.”
Eshen grabbed his opponent by the collar. And pulled me closer.
“You damned bastard who won’t let you do this or that. When are you really going to come?”
“···I know very well that I made a big mistake. I’m sorry. Sincerely.”
“You’re a dog.”
The hand holding my collar loses its strength. Eshen sobbed while clinging to the other person’s shoulder.
“If only I had liked it a little more, it wouldn’t have been this painful…”
There was something that Eshen, who was a talkative but indifferent person, failed to notice.
Usually, when Eshen gave a mournful monologue and clung to something like a hanger or a barrel, the bar patrons would join in and curse the unknown reveler. And the moment a hanger or liquor bottle was thrown, he would dodge away.
However, this time, even though a significant number of customers remained inside the bar, the sound of swearing at the mysterious man or the noise of people escaping did not echo through the bar.
People were just breathing with their mouths open like broken musical instruments.
The cloaked man slowly stretched out his arms. And with one arm he wrapped Eshen’s back, and with the other he stroked Eshen’s head as he was sobbing.
The unprecedented scene and the silence of the visitors continued for more than dozens of minutes.
————-
“You’re offering an escort? Wow. I’ve never done this before!”
Eshen, leaning on the illusion’s shoulder, chuckled. Tan, who was walking while supporting Eshen, only smiled bitterly.
The expression was more realistic than any of Tan’s fantasies so far. Eshen thought that he had finally become drunk and gone crazy.
“Do you remember? What did Villena say to you after sending that ‘eavesdropping bug’ away?”
“I remember. It had a speaker, so it was a tangible object that could convey words.”
“Tena, my respected friend, and Tan, my lover with whom I shared a passion. When they both ended up losing each other at the same time, the woman who was both a simple-minded wizard and a great inventor shouted, ‘I hate it, I hate it! Don’t do this to me!’ Ah, that heartbreaking cry!”
“Did you just say you didn’t like it? You also said you would commit suicide like this.”
“Is it conveyed well? Did you stop walking when you heard that? There is no such thing as a bastard. What about Florica? Do you remember what she said about the eavesdropping bug?”
“I thought he was sending me off bravely, but in the end, he sobbed beyond the bug and said sad words. ‘If we meet in the next life, will you be able to love me then?’ Remember clearly.”
The vision really chattered as if every phrase came to mind vividly.
Doubts arose about Eshen’s drunken sanity. This is because he left out a few words and only remembered the context. Perhaps the person who helped you right now is not a figment of your imagination…
But soon Eshen laughed at himself and gave up hope. The other person is meaningless, and those words are just a reconstruction of Eshen’s memories. There are memories that suddenly come to mind in more detail.
It is easier to believe that in advance. I could no longer bear the shock of my joy being shattered.
“Monica.”
“I tried to persuade him calmly, but his voice trembled, and then he fell silent.”
“What about Nidro, who was willing to threaten?”
“If I were to become a demon dragon in the world you protected. If I were to hate this world, which will survive through your sacrifices, and burn it to the ground. Then, I asked you if you would turn away even now.”
“What do I mean?”
“If you’re going to do it, you’ll definitely win. If you’re harpooned and the guy who drank it is released, there’s nothing more frustrating than that. Well, I’ll get revenge anyway. Fight with peace of mind, you stubborn bastards who have no answers.”
Hwansang bit his lip for a moment.
“But don’t expect me not to be sad, because that will be difficult.”
“···Wow. Mr.”
The vivid memories of that night took Eshen’s breath away.
For Eshen, who was struggling to breathe, the illusion took a moment before continuing.
“Are you all having a hard time?”
“I don’t know, damn it. Why don’t you really come back and ask around?”
“I’ll make up for it.”
“What?”
“Somehow. Doing my best. If I have to kneel, I have to kneel. If I have to support myself, I have to support myself.”
“If you want to take it off, take it off.”
Eshen grinned and patted the illusionist’s back. I thought it was time for the illusion to disappear by now.
However, the palm did not pass through the image as if it were grazing smoke. Eshen raised his eyebrows as his palm shot out in reaction.
And instead of disappearing, the illusion broke its spine and fell forward.
“Ugh, bur, if you want to take it off, take it off!”
“Did I really get too drunk?”
“And let’s stop drinking now. Wow, I really can’t handle it if I get drunk.”
“What did you say, you bird-“
Hwansang, who was scared and dodged the powerless punch, lifted Eshen from below and naturally hugged him.
Eshen, who was lightly hugged and leaning on her like a princess, mumbled in confusion.
“Huh. I’ve never really had anything like this before. Something’s strange.”
“How does it seem strange?”
“It’s so real that it feels real. I guess I’ve finally gotten to the point where I’m suffering from brain damage. It looks like my ability to see things is improving.”
“···Normally, I wouldn’t come to that conclusion. Now, let’s go.”
“Where?”
When I thought about it, the wind was chilly. This was outside.
Eshen looked back at the hotel blankly. If she was planning on taking her to her room, she should have left it to the hotel staff.
“Where am I going now?”
“The destination is a party camp. If you’re asking where I’m going right now, it’s a transcontinental train stop.”
“Huh? Why?”
“I have to go. You have been ordered to return.”
“Huh? Return? I withdrew?”
“If you write down the documents and leave, they will at least say you are withdrawing from the house. You just run away from home.”
“If it just disappears, won’t it be dealt with?”
“Are you hoping that the remaining people will handle the resignation on their own? Who would want to miss out on a talented person like you?”
“Injae, Mr. Whose fault is it that he’s an alcoholic? Huh? Whose fault is this all!”
When I pinched it, the illusion swallowed a scream and twisted its body.
The reaction was fierce. Eshen repeated that this had never happened before. As she narrowed her eyes suspiciously.
“What’s your situation? Be proud. You are the best fighter I’ve ever seen. Then and now.”
“Flattering, Mr…”
“He is also the fighter I love the most.”
Because the engine heats up all day, the cabins of the transcontinental train are warm all year round. That is why many passengers fall asleep immediately after boarding.
Many free passengers take advantage of this and pretend to doze off before the train attendant comes. Eshen, holding the train ticket tightly, tried to suppress his drowsiness to avoid such misunderstandings.
Hwansang chuckled as if the sight was funny. Eshen bit his teeth.
“If I think about it, it was like that when I first met Tan. My eyes kept closing, and I was straining to open them.”
“Was that something like that? I thought you were angry because of the news about a man coming to a women-only party.”
“There’s that too. Damn it, I should have just scared him and sent him back.”
“Why?”
“It hurts.”
Finally, unable to overcome her drowsiness, Eshen summarized her entire explanation and closed her eyes.
When I thought about it, there was no more accurate explanation than that. She thought Eshen was annoyed by the tears flowing out for no reason.
The illusion covered Eshen with a coat. And then he tickled her ears, as if trying to disturb her sleep.
“If you loved me just a little, I wouldn’t be as sad and happy as I am now.”
“It’s noisy.”
“Let’s smile tomorrow instead of being sad. I have a lot of stories to tell you. There are a lot of stories I want to hear from you.”
“I heard it’s noisy.”
“In some ways, I am grateful that I left you. I never thought I would be this happy today because I kept my promise to return to you.”
As she kissed Hwan-sang on the cheek and sat on the seat next to her, she thought Eshen wanted to shake her fist and tell him to stop talking nonsense.
But at the same time, she thought she didn’t want to do that. She wanted to hug him tightly and fall asleep happily with her body heat overlapping him.
“Stay here.”
“I will.”
“Don’t disappear.”
“I will.”
“Please, please. It doesn’t matter if it’s any god, please listen. I want this moment to last forever.”
Eshen thought that weak, begging whisper was the most uncharacteristic sound he had ever uttered in his life.
I didn’t know what the fantasy was thinking. The illusion just held Eshen in her arms and comforted him until he fell asleep.
———–
“Why is it still there?”
“Stay here. Don’t disappear. I called the crew. What’s for breakfast?”
The vision arranged Eshen’s hair and kissed his nose.
As he absentmindedly bathed in the sunlight over his shoulder, Eshen thought this moment was fantastic.
“Should I choose coffee first?”
“You.”
“What do you mean?”
As soon as they were reunited, Eshen immediately put into practice two things he wanted to do. One was something I consciously hoped for, and the other was a wish that exploded beneath the sea of unconsciousness.
Tan, who had his ear bitten off, screamed and fell to the floor of the cabin. My wish to ask a very painful question first came true.
Tan forgot her pain the next moment. It was because Eshen was sitting astride, pressing down on Tan with both legs.
That body was hot.
“Remember my touch.”
“I remember.”
“I want you to remember it from now on. The smell, the voice, even where it likes to be touched, everything.”
“I know everything.”
“Prove it.”
Eshen threw off his coat, cried and laughed again, baring his teeth.
“And don’t ever think about leaving again.”
