Chapter 99 – 099. Secret (2)
In the eardrums covered with a blanket.
The sound of the shower is heard and then cut off.
I can hear the sound of people whining and putting on clothes.
The door makes a noise of opening and closing.
The sound of slightly wet footsteps, plodding.
It comes to me.
“Ah, cool… Jiya. “Are you not sleeping yet?”
“…”
“It looks like you’re not sleeping, so I’ll dry your hair~.”
I feel like my heart will explode.
Hinami, drying her hair with one of her lamps on her, feels scary for the first time in my life.
… What is that? Really.
I’ve heard rumors that even group members did it, but I’ve never heard of it being done by multiple people.
“Ha… Ah. Communication…”
Hinami, who was casually drying her hair at the thought of such a thing, touches her cell phone, which she had left in her original place.
For a moment, the sound of speech stopped.
A very small snoring sound is heard.
Soon I heard the phone hitting the table again, and she quickly dried her short hair and jumped into the bed where I was.
“Hey, Seo Ji-ah! “Why are you pretending to sleep?”
“…”
… Have you been caught?
That I stole it.
I found out your secret.
“Keep pretending to sleep, right? Eight, eight.”
“… Stop, please.”
… Didn’t you get caught?
Because you were originally a person with many shortcomings.
At least one notification disappeared.
Maybe you didn’t notice.
“Why do you keep pretending to sleep when you’re awake?”
“… I’m sleepy. Really.”
Spaciously.
Embarrassment, fear, betrayal, guilt.
So that you can’t hear the sound of my heart, where all kinds of emotions are mixed together.
Hinami even turned off her nightstand, and she lay down at a distance from me in a completely dark room.
The only sound you can hear is the sound of skin rubbing against clothes and blankets.
When we lived in the same dorm, noise we didn’t even pay attention to.
“… Ruler? Jiya.”
“I said I was sleepy.”
“No way. “It’s been a while since I wanted to chat.”
But that trivial sound,
It constantly bothers my ears.
… The friend next to me,
Even when I was hanging out with my sister’s boyfriend.
It must have sounded like this.
Maybe,
Even my sister might have been rolling around here.
“Whoa… Oh, I’m going to get some fresh air for a moment.”
“… “Are you going to smoke an electronic cigarette?”
“I hung up. … “That’s not good these days.”
Is that why?
Hinami, who says that she so calmly broke up with her her ex her her her, feels like something about her that is not her.
He was a kid who wouldn’t listen no matter how careful I was, thinking that if I got caught, I’d be in big trouble.
… Now I can’t be satisfied with just that kind of deviation.
I feel like I’m talking.
“…”
Hinami, who was lying behind me, quickly got out of bed, grabbed her cell phone, and left the room.
Are you trying to contact me?
With that man.
Because we are close enough to send such a photo at this time.
Maybe they’re secretly talking dirty.
… If you think like that.
I feel confused.
I have seen from the side how Hinami rose to this position.
It’s just that I and the fans know that she is not a woman who can be fascinated by a man like that.
“Yes… What. … Really?”
“…”
“You don’t seem to be sleeping. … “Then let’s talk a bit, Jia.”
It didn’t take long for Hinami to return to the bed, this time lying down facing my back.
She touches my shoulder with her finger and speaks to me.
“… Jia, have you ever been in a relationship?”
“Hey you… !”
“What. Why are you so surprised? … “What’s so great about love?”
… It was so sloppy that I didn’t notice that it was stolen.
Bragging to me.
“Isn’t it okay to date just because you’re an idol? … Everyone is doing it. “As long as I don’t get caught, that’s fine.”
At least
Something I do not agree with.
Values.
It crashes into me.
“Good… “Is it because someone said ‘Ah?'”
“… What if that’s true?”
“That… , That…”
“Actually, we are already meeting. … Who it is is a secret.”
Like,
Like a girl in love.
Being uncharacteristically shy.
“Well, because I’m famous. I can’t go on dates or anything like that… Still. Because we can meet at home.”
“… To do that. “I didn’t leave the accommodation.”
“If that’s not what you came out for, then what is it? It means that you should take care of your privacy. Because I have accumulated a certain amount of experience. Just be careful and don’t get caught.”
Like.
Like ordinary people everywhere.
Unbefitting of an idol, he only continues to say things that destroy illusions.
“Jia, wouldn’t it be nice if you both started dating? … If you have a lover you can talk secretly about various things, you will definitely be less tired. Some work… “You can do it with a happy heart?”
“… “I don’t need it.”
“You’re saying that because you haven’t tried it. … How happy is it that your boyfriend comes to hug you on your day off after your schedule? .”
“Hey.”
“Why? … Sex. You can do it. “I’m an adult too.”
“…”
You,
I don’t want to know.
That photo from earlier that I don’t want to remember.
… I force it out of my brain.
“That… , The opponent. … Was it really big? He’s tall too. There are a lot of muscles too. There too… , Cursor. To be honest, it was a little scary…”
“…”
A story I don’t know.
Nothing can be refuted.
The unknown world
“… Than you think. Because it’s awesome. Surprised. It was my first time… Because they were considerate of me, I didn’t get sick.”
“…”
“And, it’s nice to do it too…” ” . You’re there after it’s over, right? We look at each other in a helpless state and laugh. Kiss… Do or. I really enjoyed doing it. … Ah. And sitting on a man’s lap while taking off each other’s clothes. Washing together. It felt really good? I can feel the temperature slightly. The muscles are hard, but the flesh feels soft…”
But I can’t force it.
Your happy voice.
… To just say something like that.
It’s a story I can’t discuss as I’ve never experienced it.
“… Hinami.”
“Huh?”
“That… , A man. “Do you really like me?”
“Huh… , Huh. “I like it.”
“…”
… But.
To pretend not to know.
It’s so unhealthy.
Shameless.
An immoral story.
“… Actually, we met yesterday too. There is a place where we can meet secretly, so we meet there. … Did it again Sex.”
“… “
“Oh, are you using birth control properly, am I? You eat something too. Because I’m active these days.”
Opponent.
That man.
If it weren’t for my sister’s boyfriend.
Just a story about a friend’s first love.
I could have passed on.
“I’m not stupid enough to make a baby, so you don’t have to worry too much. Jiya. … “You guys change men all the time, so there’s no problem, right?”
“…”
“Fans anyway… , You know everything, right? I thought we might have boyfriends. As long as you don’t get caught, that’s fine, as long as you don’t get caught.”
“… About that. “No.”
“Huh?”
You.
If only they weren’t members of the same group.
Just the dirty entertainment industry stories that are everywhere.
I could have passed on.
“Just because you don’t get caught doesn’t mean you didn’t do something wrong. Hinami.”
“… Wrong? Me?”
“At least. While active… It’s right not to do it. Think about it.”
“Why?”
I don’t believe in the empty saying that I live for my fans.
Still.
The reason I was able to become so famous and rise so high is.
It’s because the fans felt attracted to me.
Whether you look at me like an idol,
I felt quasi-romantic feelings toward the young and pretty me.
Either way.
“Jia, you are very honest. … Is it because I’ve never been in love?”
“Hey…”
“If you meet a good person, you won’t feel the same way, right? … Ah. How about someone like your manager oppa? “You said you liked it out loud.”
“Hinami.”
So,
At least I didn’t want to have such general values.
Because I don’t think I can bear the guilt.
Falling in love with a man, kissing his lips deeply.
Supporting me by spending money and time,
Because I don’t want to sing about love to my fans.
“Look, you have a straight face too. The manager oppa is also a sincere and kind person. “I don’t like it for no reason because it’s not very attractive, right?”
… But.
“On the other hand, when you meet an attractive person, your thoughts change. … No matter how bad that person looks, just be attracted to them. I want to be hugged. I want to be pounced on. … “I want to kiss you.”
Those wishful words filled with the sincerity of a friend,
It’s too good to pass it off as a joke.
I wasn’t that clean of a person.
“No matter what the fans say, they always get impressed when they see comments on your fancam. … Even during fan meetings, if a fan who smells like sweat comes, you get in a lot of trouble.”
“…”
In fact,
Because I don’t like it either.
There are also idiots who pant and say that their hearts are shaking after seeing the choreography that they practiced without even eating.
Even my fans who came all the way to the gathering of people and started running around, smelling of sweat.
A manager who acts like he’s really sincere and nice to the world, but he also looks at my thighs every time he looks at me.
Because I hate everything.
… I’m sure other people would have done the same thing.
Even the guy I really hate, he looked at my body the first time he saw me.
When I think of ‘I don’t like it,’ my fans come to mind first.
“If I live too rigidly, will I explode later? … Just like me and my sisters, live a relaxed life. Jiya. “There is nothing that motivates me more than love.”
“… It’s noisy.”
“Okay okay. Stop talking. … Let’s sleep now.”
He seems really happy.
The naked body of a friend talking excitedly about a bizarre relationship.
There seems to be no reason.
His naked body, very excited, with his friend and older sister on either side.
Running around my head.
He keeps whispering to me.
… You too,
It’s no different from us.
