Chapter 177 – This Is Mine Now. I Can Do Whatever I Want.(7)
“…Ugh, ugh… Damn it.”
After several hours of violent climax, his body eventually discharged and his consciousness returned, Aka Wiki slowly raised his body with a dizzying headache covering his head. It was very difficult because the body and mind were out of sync, probably because of the series of excessively strong shocks and the influence of overload on the mind. Reviewed again.
He obviously tried to resist somehow at first, but the pleasure of being forced into his head continued uninterrupted…
‘Mmm, stop it…! Go, go, go…! Go away…! Bar, I just went, but it’s gone again, Rye Hut…!♥’
‘Ohhh, ohhhhh…♥ My, my body… This, it’s strange…!’
‘No ha ha…! I, I feel.. Haaaaah..! I didn’t, uh huh..! I, I…!’
‘Is it exciting?! That, there… Oh, no! That, the crown prince… Stabbed all the weak spots, and he’s gone again…! ♥’
‘Even if it’s that cheap… I can’t get pregnant Oh Oh…! Wait a minute Stop it!!♥♥’
‘Hak, haaaaagh! You are too rough…! Lord, die… At this rate, you really die…’
“…Ah.”
As the belatedly restored memories in his head, but he wished he hadn’t known about them, began to occupy the storage space one by one, Aka Wiki sighed as he covered his face with both hands. However, it is simply being violated by a man, giving in to pleasure and showing an unsightly appearance. In the end, even though it is an unwanted relationship, it is only because of the shame of the shameful incident of fainting in the middle of sexual activity and anger toward the man who violated her. It wasn’t.
“Damn it…!”
The reddish blush floating on the pale skin, the nipples that were erected as badly as the size of a little finger, and the red-hot genital area that was filled with water gel instead of love juice and spat out the sticky white contents. .
Aka Wiki recalled the shameful memory that had popped into his head, and at the same time was excited about it. That arousal is not simply that I couldn’t control my enormous anger, so my emotions became raging, but it meant that I was really sexually aroused.
Obviously, the intense pleasure felt so good that I couldn’t deny it, but after the pleasure was over, only the feeling of shame and hatred and anger toward him shaking his waist against himself as a man came to mind… But not now.
“It’s crazy.
When I see the man sleeping next to me as if he’s dead, all I can think of is… Sexual excitement.
As if it is imprinted on the body and mind, it is terribly foreign to have a strange sense focused on the location where a real woman’s body would have a womb. To say that the body of an android that has not yet realized the act of pregnancy wants to become pregnant is such a ridiculous statement that it is no different from a succubus being an inexperienced virgin.
However, Akawiki was shocked that it was not just a bad joke, but an undeniable fact.
Humans interact with the environment surrounding them. Here, the environment does not simply mean the surrounding topography, but also includes various things such as relationships with people around you and the influence of political institutions.
So far, Akawiki has blocked most of its interactions with others in order to preserve its ‘self-consciousness as a man’ as fully as possible, and has handled most of its work only through documents, and the only thing it does directly is regular meetings where representatives from all seven cities gather. It was everything. It was an attempt to keep the original state as much as possible by blocking all the influence of the new environment on him by making the environment around him as quiet as possible.
However, his mental masculinity, which he has so desperately defended, comes to an end the moment he puts his mind into the body of an android in order to grasp information directly with his own eyes.
Have sexual intercourse with a man violently. And most people are heterosexual.
No matter how strongly he tried to hold on to the thought of ‘I am a man’, the pleasure of a woman he had never experienced and would never have experienced in his life broke his spirit. No matter how much her head screams ‘I’m a man!’, Her body continues to refute ‘I’m a woman?’ Was I a woman and not a man?’ The thought began to permeate subtly, and the intense continuous sex in the abandoned factory put an end to that change.
In order to maintain self-consciousness as a man, several months of desperate efforts, even cutting off the environment around him, collapsed in less than a week. Stronger and darker memories were engraved on the body he was using now rather than on his old body, which he could not remember properly, and he came to recognize himself as a ‘woman’. It’s not just a woman, it’s an obscene woman who gets sexual pleasure from being violated by Rag or Armageddon…
In fact, it was perhaps the natural course of action.
The way Aka Wiki chose to maintain his self as a man is to keep his past status by simultaneously blocking the surrounding environmental factors that would change his self. It is to maintain faint memories of the past decades by repeating the same daily routine without any special changes or unusual stimuli every day over a dozen or so years.
However, the original human brain tends to remember the unusual event that happened just yesterday more than the repeating time of a year without much difference. Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing. In the spirit of Akawiki, my memories as a man before the incident were stronger than the ten or so years repeated without much difference, but it is natural that the events of the last few days are remembered more strongly than the events ten or more years ago. . In addition, the dizzying pleasure felt when intercourse with Rag or Armageddon shook my brain, and it would be rather strange that such an experience did not remain stronger than memories from ten years ago.
“This can’t be…”
In the end, the ego as a man that Akawiki desperately protected was based on the memory of using the body of a human male born at the time of birth, but in less than a week, all of that was overpainted with the intense pleasure of a woman, and Akawiki’s ego has lost its masculinity. In the end, the identity as a man he wanted to protect was no different from a sandcastle that would one day be swept away and collapsed.
“Hmm, looks like it’s finished well.”
No matter how hard he tried, he could no longer deny that he was a woman, and that person appeared in front of him who was frustrated. A height of more than 2m, arms and legs as thin as a skinny tree branch, and an eerie voice resonating directly into the head and soul where no bodily organs exist from the top of the mouth like a broken egg.
“You…”
“Blind sniper. My best friend and teacher gifted this insignificant prisoner and monster at the same time, the last thing I’m proud of.”
Blind sniper. One of the seven monsters that drove Eldland to destruction.
He answered calmly, as if he knew it would happen, and Akawiki couldn’t help but have doubts. Even himself, the genius and manager of this huge city, never thought he would end up like this. Did this monster already know that?
“It won’t do you any good to ask me anything. I just got a hint from the teacher that something is about to happen.”
That means, after all, Ragnar Armageddon knew that Akawiki would change like this. But, how the hell?
“You can ask me a question, but I can’t get an answer. But if I dare to give you my personal guess… Maybe, it’s my experience.”
Experience?
“Simply put… This isn’t the first time I’ve met someone like you and subdued it.”
“…”
It’s not the first time.
To me, that person was an unknown enemy that I had never faced, but to him, I was a common enemy who had met a similar kind before.
However, the difference in experience is what happened because they cut off exchanges with the outside world in order to preserve their identity and only adhered to their own immutability. Just as water that does not flow stagnates and rots, and creatures that do not adapt to the environment become extinct, Akawiki’s defeat was due to his own attitude of refusing to change.
“Damn it, then what were you supposed to do with me?”
Emotions that had been suppressed for a long time poured out like a dam breaking.
“I didn’t want to change! I hated not being me! I was afraid of losing my existence, so I abandoned my human body, which had a limited lifespan, and gained eternity as a resident and owner of the network forever. I didn’t want to disappear as I became! I didn’t want to die, I didn’t want to become someone else! That’s why I struggled, but why did I have to be like this? Then, then, what should I have done!!”
“Are you looking for an answer from me?”
“Well, who else is here besides you!”
In fact, besides the two of them, there were also the teacher and the adventurer, Kurin, but both of them hadn’t come to their senses yet. In the end, there was only one person to ask for an answer that Aka Wiki couldn’t find on his own, and that one sighed and shook his head.
“There is only one answer I can give you. Theseus’ ship.”
Ship of Theseus.
A thought experiment that poses questions about the continuity and nature of change in things. When all the parts on a ship are replaced, is it the first ship? Or is it a completely different boat?
“Did you just say that’s the answer? Of course it’s a completely different badge! All the parts have been replaced, but how is it the same boat as the first one!”
To Akawiki, Theseus’ ship was nothing like the first one. If all parts are replaced, there is no trace of the previous one, so why is it the same as the first one? Changing everything about a person, rather than just changing parts of the body, such as organ donation or a prosthetic arm, means being born again as a completely different being from before. That’s why I struggled desperately. It was because I was afraid of becoming something completely different from the ‘current’ me, something other than myself.
But not to the monster.
“Well, that’s up to you to think about.”
“What?”
“Other parts of a damaged ship can be replaced, but there is one part that can never be replaced.”
“…Keel.”
Thanks to living in a vast sea of information, the information about him was also in Akawiki’s head. At the answer Akawiki gave out almost reflexively, the blind sniper nodded.
“Yes, the keel. In human terms, it is the equivalent of the spine. A ship with a damaged keel cannot move. To replace that part with a new one, the only option is to disassemble the ship, but in that case it would be better to build a new one. .So even if all other damaged parts are replaced with new parts, the keel of the ship is the same as before.”
“…”
“No matter how much change you go through, there are things that never change. Even if you change through change, you are still you unless you consider yourself to be a completely different being. Are you afraid of becoming someone other than you? Even after becoming a person, I still identify with the current me. The memories, actions, personality, and thoughts of the previous me are the same. The only thing that has changed is the appearance. So I am still me. I think so. “
Akawiki couldn’t carelessly listen to the monster’s words. Because his words came from the mouth of someone who had already experienced the ‘change in which I was no longer me’ that Akawiki feared so much.
“All the experiences and changes you have gone through are yours, so no matter how much you change, you are the same as you were in the beginning. You have not become a different being, you have become a different you than before. You are still you.”
It is clear that the deep voice that resonates deep in the soul, unique to a blind shooter, has the power to stimulate people’s emotions. At least Akawiki couldn’t help but think so. Otherwise, the burning anger, the endless frustration, and the urge to stick one’s head into the monster’s trigger disappear neatly, and there’s no way you’ll feel refreshed as if the fog that covered your eyes has cleared.
“Of course, this is my answer, and it may not necessarily be yours.”
Aka Wiki slowly lowered his head. He couldn’t find an answer from anyone, so he didn’t know that all the actions he took to somehow escape the fear of his loss could be explained and organized with a single word from the mouth of a monster far from human. . And although she made a few mistakes, she was basically an aka wiki who prided herself on being a genius, so she didn’t make the mistake of not admitting that her actions were wrong until this moment.
“No, that’s enough. I really… Thank you. For letting me know how stupid I was.”
“Everyone does something stupid at least once in their lives.”
“Yes… I guess.”
She couldn’t prove that she was a man, and when she saw the face of the person who had raped her several times, her body became hot and excited… But Aka Wiki didn’t despair. Rather, she felt a cool feeling as if her insides, which had been stuffy and clogged, had been pierced. Even though she has become a completely different being from her days when she had a human body, so what? As he said, in the end it was me.
The me before losing my human body, the me after losing my human body, and the me after losing my male identity aren’t all my own in the end? It’s not that one of them is right and the rest is wrong, it’s just that there’s a slight difference, and they’re all my appearance.
“Originally, what Landfill’s teacher did to me was rude enough to lead to a war between cities… But with the help of you, who volunteered to be his friend and disciple, I’ll just leave this matter alone. And… In case , Can I know your name other than the title of blind sniper?”
Her blind sniper looked at her through her lost, non-existent eyes, and smiled bitterly at her.
“My name… My name, which nobody but the teacher and myself can remember now, is Caspar.”
Caspar.
It was the name of a prisoner sentenced to death for causing a mass shooting in Eldland.
*
When I opened my eyes again, things were going very strangely. Akawiki did not yield to me, but neither did it take a hostile attitude towards me. The disrespect he had inflicted on himself was offset by the fact that he had infiltrated for spying in the first place. It’s a pity that he couldn’t gulp the metaverse city, but it was fortunate that he wasn’t banned from the metaverse city.
So I felt very good.
[Teacher. A person claiming to be Luke has come, what should I do?]
Until the damn name was mentioned on the lips of the makeshift security forces they had built in Landfill.
