Chapter 77 – Commitment
Mason clutched his chest and held his breath.
She was lacking No matter how hard she tried to force her breath in to keep her composure, her breath caught in the air whenever she remembered what she had just been through.
Those eyes.
Like the eyes of a clever and evil snake.
As if hypnotized by a predator, the moment I saw her cool eyes, I felt that she was nothing more than a weak mouse.
As the black snake wraps her whole body around her body and is on the verge of being swallowed, all she can do is pray that she won’t get sick and be eaten.
Calm down. Calm down Mason.
Mason repeated the same words over and over, as if brainwashing himself.
She can’t collapse here.
It’s just the beginning.
Mason struggled to get back up, but she couldn’t get the strength through her legs. In her head trying to turn her thoughts elsewhere,
-Oh, Sianna says she’s doing well, please say hello.
The last of Isabella’s words passed through her head.
Mason felt as if he had been beaten in the head by her.
Her trembling body and the breath she had to forcefully squeeze through all died down in an instant.
It was because he suddenly remembered that her appearance now resembled Shiana from the past.
A seizure caused by the trauma she had heard from Isabella during the first meeting between Shiana and her Isabella.
The figure of her with the blanket pulled all the way over her head, utterly terrified, not recognizing who she was dealing with.
Now, the old Shiana overlapped with her own figure sitting on the kitchen floor.
At that moment, she felt something break out of control.
Hot tears welled up in an instant and ran down her cheeks from the corners of her eyes. The pity and pain that surged in her chest quickly gnawed at her inside.
It was the anxiety that arose from her heartache that she herself had with her Isabella. But the pain that Sianna has is different.
She once grew up receiving only love in a greenhouse, and likewise became a saint who knew how to bestow her love.
In an instant, he fell into a pit and became miserable, exposed to the world’s hostility and filthy desire.
With those who abandoned human duty, revealed lust and hurt the person who was the target of their protection.
She still follows Shiana in her weak and vain expectations, until one day she will rise again and endures her manic expectations with her young body every day of her life.
In the end, she abandons her god herself, abandoning what has defined her all her life.
Leaning on only one person, until she came to a rural village with no connections.
She couldn’t control the tears that flowed from Mason’s eyes. She couldn’t stop her tears from the pity she had for herself that welled up inside her.
I was embarrassed in front of Isabella even to this extent.
How scared were you when you first came here?
How hard was it
I was the only place you leaned on, but in the end I threw you into hell myself.
I couldn’t imagine the fear she must have been through. Even the thought of her just looking like her old self superimposed on her own Sianna’s made her regret.
And now, you are living with Isabella.
It must be no different from living in hell every day.
The moment she thought about it, Mason realized she couldn’t stay like this any longer.
“Hey, can you help me?”
Mason extended her hand to Grace, who stood anxiously beside her.
Grace’s hand clasped hers, and Isabella lifted herself off the floor with all her might.
Her whole body creaked like an old wooden doll, but with a stagger she was able to get up off the floor.
Mason stood up, wiped her stained eyes with her tears, and exhaled deeply.
“… Are you okay?”
To Grace’s concern, Mason nodded her head.
When she heard her question, she felt a little reassured. It was a great comfort to her heart to have someone beside her who really cared about her and not someone who had her ill will.
“… Sorry. It was a bit unsightly.”
Mason said that and moved her body.
She had to do something. She couldn’t be as she was.
Moving diligently, she poured her water into the kettle and put it on the fire, opened her cupboard and took out the tea leaves.
Grace stood beside her and said that if she was having a hard time, it would be better for her to leave today, but Mason stubbornly shook her head.
“You were supposed to serve me tea.”
She was her obsession, and she knew it for herself. But she had no intention of giving up her will.
It was her pledge that in the future she would never turn a blind eye to what she had to do.
It was her declaration to herself, as irresponsibly as before, that even though she knew what she had to do, she would justify and avoid responsibility in the name of hardship.
As she busily searched her kitchen for her treats, she couldn’t stop thinking about herself in the past.
She struggled to express her dissatisfaction alone because no one recognized her difficult situation, and the result of her collapse was clear.
She loses herself, and she wanders aimlessly to find a place to lean on.
And in the end, she and Lucia crossed a line that shouldn’t be crossed.
As she forced herself to move, her head cleared, and it felt like everything was becoming clearer.
She was right that she could suffer from the situation she was in. And falling apart was also something that everyone could experience.
But even so, there are definitely people who stand up. People who care about others more than their own pain, more than their own rotting inside.
Among them, there may be people who are strong by nature and do it because they are insensitive to their own feelings, but the reason why many more people go on even though they are not was clear.
Because you are responsible for what you do.
What it is will differ from person to person. For Uncle Reggie, who drives the cart from town to town every day, Rupert and Jimmy, who add vibrancy to their troubles, could be responsible. For some, it may be a job, and for others, it may be a goal they want to achieve.
Mason’s responsibility is to
Not knowing anything, not knowing how to do anything, even bearing scars that can never be healed for the rest of my life.
A lonely, scarred saintess who put her last hope on herself.
It was Siana.
Beep-!
The sound of the hot kettle suddenly woke Mason from his thoughts. Before she knew it, she carefully brought the hot kettle to the table and sat down in a chair to cool it down.
It was a simple but affectionate table that she did not know when she had set it up. Tea and a little hard but edible bread. And completely forgotten,
Fruit jam that Mr. Reggie gave me as a gift from back home that now feels like a long time ago.
After taking some tea leaves into the slightly cooled kettle, steeping them properly, pouring them into her own cup with Grace, she passed the tea to Grace.
Grace carefully took a sip of her tea and smiled.
“It’s a nice car.”
Grace said so. He knows it’s the same greeting he usually does in return, but he’s a little relieved nonetheless.
Mason also took a sip of tea.
It felt good to feel the warmth enveloping my whole body.
Hungry all of a sudden, I picked up the bread that was lying there, and scooped up some jam with a spoon and spread it on the bread.
I put on the bread that looked pretty good and carefully put it on.
It was hard on the outside, but surprisingly quite soft on the inside. The jam made from the fruit on top of it added sweetness.
Tears suddenly seemed to fill up again, but this time I tried my best to hold it back.
“Mr. Grace.”
At her call, Grace, who was about to put the bread in her mouth, hurriedly put it down, raised her head. Thinking that it was slightly funny, Mason smiled slightly without realizing it.
“If you don’t have to do something early tomorrow morning, would you like to go to bed?”
“Uh, is that okay? I think it’s a bit rude.”
Seeing Grace’s slightly cautious refusal, she shook her head.
“No. Thank you for helping me today, and it’s because I feel lonely all of a sudden thinking I’m alone in this house. Finish… , Now her brother’s room is also empty.”
She felt Grace’s strange gaze pierce her. Mason thought that she would have nothing to say even if she was stared at like that.
From her point of view, she herself, she must be a person who hides a lot of strange things.
No matter how much she took her complicated gaze for a moment, Grace shrugged her shoulders and nodded her head.
“How are you? After all, being a hunter is a pretty leisurely job. It won’t matter if we start a little late tomorrow.”
“Thank you.”
Mason was truly grateful. In addition to accepting her own request, she also included her thanks for not bothering to ask about the situation she was in now.
That night.
Outside, it was deeply dark, and while most of the town was dozing off, Mason sat on the bed and watched the candles burn.
She was waiting
She wanted to believe that, of course, she had to wait for the fantasies she had created, but she was waiting nonetheless.
“What are you waiting for? You just have to think about it when you want.”
She raised her head at the sudden sullen voice.
There was Ciana in her form, just as she had seen in the morning.
With her tangled, dirty gray hair and the jagged scars visible through the gaps in her clothes that were no different than torn rags.
Seeing her like that, her heart broke again and it hurt.
“Why did you call?”
Shiana said so and she stood at a distance. She was at an ambiguous distance, neither close to her nor too far away, but unlike in the morning, she was neither aggressive nor vocal.
Swoop-
Mason’s nightgown brushed against the duvet, making a small noise. She got up and walked slowly across her room.
Lucia did not run away from her or come close to her, but stood in the dark.
Mason stopped right in front of Ciana’s nose. Her hideous face was so clearly visible in her eyes.
Mason didn’t say a word and took her with his arms outstretched.
Her bony body came into her arms all too easily.
“Sorry.”
Mason closed her eyes and whispered to her heart.
“Hang in there.”
She spoke calmly.
“I will save you.”
It was a promise she made to herself as well as to Shiana that she would make it happen no matter what.
When Mason opened her eyes, Cianna was nowhere to be found.
And after that, Mason never had that illusion again.
