How to Live With a Broken Saint 73

Chapter 73 – The Hunter (2)

Reaping her bow and arrows, Grace slowly approached the concern that the woman might suddenly have a seizure-like behavior, but fortunately there was no sign of it.

Grace laid her face down in the same way she was sitting down and put her ear to the tip of her nose.

Fortunately, I could hear the sound of breathing, albeit a bit violent.

After that, Grace slowly examined her body. I looked again at the fresh little wounds here and there, the muddy body, and the messy clothes.

Untidy collars, wrongly sewn buttons, and shoelaces that were not properly tied.

Anyone could see that they had prepared and ran away in a hurry.

Human trafficking?

It was the first thought that crossed Grace’s frowning head.

Have you been kidnapped somewhere deep in the mountains or in a remote village and worked like a slave before running away?

Although slavery was forbidden by statute, Grace kept the possibility open, knowing that there were still places out of the reach of the state in remote villages and deep neighborhoods.

“… Well, you should know the details.”

Grace muttered to the woman who couldn’t hear her and touched her forehead. She had a fever, but considering she ran earlier, it’s likely because of the heat in her body.

It wasn’t until Grace brushed her hair so that the cool breeze could blow on her face that she realized that the woman was someone she had met once.

“… Mason?”

Grace looked down at her with her eyes full of wonder. There were a few things that were quite different from then, but she recognized who this person was at once.

On the day she first arrived in this town, she met a strange sister in the process of brazenly taking her carriage.

Among them, her older sister, who seemed mentally unstable, and her younger brother, who seemed nervous and sharp.

When her brother got off the carriage in the middle, she looked anxious like a lost puppy.

Her sharp memory was such that her two golden eyes twinkled as she remembered a woman she had only met once, several months earlier.

Apparently, the story I heard from Mason seemed to be quite interesting.

Tuk tuk-

Grace rose from her kneeling position and brushed the dirt from her clothes.

Originally, she had intended to wait until she woke up, but she expected the story she would soon tell herself.

“You must be prepared to hear an interesting story.”

Grace picked up the limp Mason on her back and set off on a forest path to the cabin.

A sound was heard.

It wasn’t laughter, criticism, or vicious screams, but it was a sound I hadn’t heard in a long time.

In the distance, you can hear the soft chirping of birds.

Little by little, Mason began to regain her consciousness, and she felt tickling in her ears and the sensation of the bed behind her back.

It was a strange feeling somehow. It’s like she’s looking at her underpants she wore as a child. As if she knew in her head that she was comfortable and missed, but nevertheless, the sense of alienation and awkwardness coming through her skin prevented it.

Her brow furrowed slightly at the sense of alienation she felt in her still-shattered consciousness. It was definitely a comfortable situation for her, and she wanted to stay like this, but her impatient heart wrapped around her.

Like this… It shouldn’t stay like this.

-Why?

It was a strange feeling. The senses transmitted through the body are recognizing that you are lying in bed, but listening to a question that came from somewhere in your consciousness.

Mason thought for a moment. Why did she feel that way? Even though she instinctively knew that her body was crying out for a break, she wondered if she was trembling and proud.

A vague feeling that it shouldn’t be like this. Her sixth sense, which was close to her instincts, tormented her, and she couldn’t overcome that feeling, so she couldn’t help but open her mouth.

“… I don’t know.”

I don’t know. But i’m anxious I think I should wake up.

-I do not want to.

A soft voice was heard from somewhere. As if she was pouting for not granting her own wishes.

– I’m having a hard time. I want to rest a little bit.

As she whimpered like a child, Mason hesitated what to do. She tried to force herself to get up, but her body felt like it was sinking. Like she stubbornly refuses to leave the bed.

-It’s too hard. Can’t we just take a little break?

The more she whined, the more dizzy and sleepy she felt. Mason caught her consciousness trying to disperse and she struggled to open her mouth.

“… Not… , No. You have to get up.”

He didn’t know who this voice belonged to or why it bothered him, but he felt like he had to convince him why.

Her dizziness and drowsiness subsided a bit, and her offended, unspoken being asked again.

-Why?

“…”

Mason couldn’t answer easily. It didn’t seem to work to say that she was vaguely insecure and that she felt that way.

She needed a reason. She has reason to convince me of something like this child.

“… I have to get up.”

In the end, Mason was just repeating her words, which she did like a parrot.

“Are you all right?”

The voice started to sound a little clearer. As if the other person started talking in front of you.

The moment Mason tried to tell her it wasn’t hard, her memories began to slowly return to haunt her.

A conversation with Isabella.

Relationship with Lucia.

She was more shabby than ever with her own self.

His relationship with Shiana is not enough to be described as broken now.

The horrifyingly real hallucinations she saw as she ran away crying.

Just thinking about it made her heart ache and pain. She wanted to forget Her desire to cut the memories and guilt out of her head with her knife continued to rise.

“Look. Are you tired? You know. You know it’s hard to hold on, you know it’s painful outside. Isn’t that why you gave up too?”

The voice’s point was sharp. On that day, her shabbiness and pain she felt on the day Lucia first returned became clear again.

“Let’s be honest. You wanted to give up. So you put it down.”

Mason opened her mouth to retort, but she closed it. Because her conscience knew that the voice of the unknown was telling only the truth.

Her voice spoke triumphantly, as if judging her silence as her own victory.

“Look. You know that. So let’s take a little break You and I need a break too. Just a little bit, just a little bit more.”

“… Not as much as that.”

That was the only answer Mason could give. To be stubborn when you know you have to be persuaded.

She felt very sorry for herself. The one who can’t even convince the opponent in his head.

But she had no intention of breaking her will. I felt a certainty wrapped around her body.

That she somehow has to wake up now.

In response to his reckless behavior, the other person stayed silent for a while and then spoke in a snarky voice.

“Why do you keep insisting? Why? You know it’s hard too. It’s a result that you can’t handle, brought about by the results of your choices. So I gave up, and it was comfortable while I closed my eyes. Aren’t the days spent with Lucia sweet?”

Mason bit her lip with his front teeth. It was a question she could not deny. The days she spent with her were all too tempting. The time spent whispering love, fulfilling desires, and loving each other while forgetting guilt, devastation, and helplessness felt like filling the void.

“… It was sweet.”

“Then stop-“

“However,”

Mason hastily cut off her opponent. As she continued to listen, she hurriedly continued with a sense of crisis, as if she would be swayed by the other person’s words.

“At this rate… , No, not anymore.”

Mason struggled to explain the complex emotions she felt. Little by little, as if to unravel her tangled skein, she cleared her mind.

“…”

The other person was silent, as if to give it a try, so Mason took her breath slowly.

Now she had to tell only the truth.

She couldn’t take her eyes any longer,

She couldn’t forget any more.

She had to expose her inner faults and feelings that she did not want to bring out or wanted to turn away.

“… I made a mistake.”

“What’s wrong? You didn’t do anything wrong-“

“You neglected Siana.”

“… No one has taken care of Siana as much as you.”

“No.”

Even if I didn’t know it then, I had to admit the fault I knew now.

“When Cianna came here, she was wrong for leaving everything to Isabella.”

When Isabella offered to help her, it was true that a heavy burden had been lifted off her shoulders. Because she said that if she was clever from her childhood, she would be trustworthy.

“Then… She thought Sia would need a friend rather than me.”

She thought it was better to have new relationships than me, who was tired of accepting her tantrums.

Maybe, I had already given up on Siana at that time.

Thinking that I couldn’t change her, I might have prayed that she would recognize my efforts and that her mind would change.

Wasn’t it a projection of her sympathy for not being able to simply leave her alone, and her feelings for her brother, whom she hadn’t seen for a long time?

She shouldn’t have treated her as her sister, she should have treated her as Shiana herself.

“… My feelings and guesses may be wrong. However, looking back now, I see Siana… I guess I was only trying to take responsibility for her livelihood.”

Her petty pity and her sympathy for reminding her of her brother, she might not have prepared her to accept her into her family.

Looking back, such regrets remain.

“I should have had a real family, a real support. Neither I nor Sianna seemed ready. So when her Cianna left her, she might not have caught her.”

“… It’s not your fault.”

“Things like that happen, too. To be honest, Shiana was also very picky.”

“Are you picky? Can it be reduced to a level of harshness?”

A smile came out of the other person’s words. It was a soft, natural laugh that hadn’t been seen in a long time.

It was a refreshing feeling that I hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Even Lucia… I did something I shouldn’t have done.”

“Lucia wanted too.”

“Not that relationship.”

It was a strange feeling. Because I knew that her twisted and obsessive love for her brother was simply a relationship, a mixture of lingering feelings, sticky feelings, and actions that crossed the line.

“I shouldn’t have collapsed like that in front of her brother.”

“No, you can. You were so hard How can a person bear all that burden. Your brother was by your side, and in a way you can’t help but fall in love-“

“It seems like you’ve been supporting me since before, am I mistaken?”

Mason said playfully. It was a really strange feeling. It seemed like a very scary and vague story until I brought it out of her mouth and faced it, but the more I talked about it, the more I felt comfortable.

She was relieved Enough that she could playfully throw a joke at her opponent.

“I still love Lucia. But… Not like this. Not like this.”

“Since you’ve already slept together, do you think that excuse works?”

It’s not an excuse.

She loved Lucia, and she still loves her. She loved the warmth she could feel next to her when they were lying in bed together, and it was nice to have someone who listened to and understood her pain.

“… The feelings I felt for Lucia, I did not have.”

Only now did I know for sure.

Her obsession with Lucia, her need to fill her lack of affection, which has run out with the pleasure that a relationship brings.

It was a tangled, disgusting apparition.

“I obsess every day, meaninglessly waiting for the day I meet Lucia, that is… It is not love.”

There may be many forms of love, but all I want is a longing for someone who can fill the void and soothe my loneliness.

“… You know you’ve already crossed the line of no return.”

“… Know. She will die later, so she will not be able to see her parents.”

“Ciana might hate you.”

“… It is a mistake I will have to bear in the future.”

The more I spoke, the more confident I was than ever before. It was a warm feeling rising from the depths of my heart, the conviction that I was not wrong.

Upright confidence without feeling confused or worried.

“Hey…”

The other person’s voice trembled a little. It was a small, sonorous voice.

“You know you’re not the only one doing it wrong… ?”

In the words of the other person, there is no complaint or fuss like before.

It was just an emotion dripping with worry and sadness, enough for anyone to know that it was really for him.

“You guessed a little too… , Siana, Lucia, maybe…”

“That it might have something to do with Isabella?”

The opponent responded with silence. Mason thought. The heart she most wanted to turn away from herself. She may have been thinking about it for a long time.

That Isabella might be at the beginning of this twisted present.

However, there was only one answer Mason could give.

“… Still, my fault doesn’t change.”

Isabella’s fault was her Isabella’s, and her fault was her own burden.

“At least I have to undo my wrongs somehow, and if it’s impossible, I have to try for the rest of my life. She has to ask Isabella sometime, clear up any misunderstandings, and if Isabella is really the one behind everything…”

Then. I really don’t know how that will turn out.

“For now, I will take my responsibility in my place.”

It was the best and only way.

To never again lead a life of weakness and helplessness.

“… What if I, I, I stop you?”

There was a lot of impatience in the voice of the other party. For some reason, I thought that the almost unreasonable threat in a tearful voice was pitiful and cute.

Mason burst out laughing. A warm feeling washed over her body after a long time. I felt grateful, sorry, and happy.

“I’ll be stubborn and get up.”

Just like her stubbornness when she brought Siana to her village, who had bullied her by refusing absolutely.

I would stick to what I believe in and what I think is right.

“… Why, are you all responsible?”

Along with a weak grunt, footsteps were heard.

A child walked

A small, young girl, around thirteen at most.

A girl with short, freshly cropped brown hair and brown eyes with tears in her eyes.

Mason got up and went to her,

He got down on her knees and hugged her.

The child leaned on her shoulder and cried. Her hot tears soaked her shoulder blades, and she heard a mournful murmur as her sniffs were blocked by her shoulder.

Mason patted her back and whispered in a friendly voice.

“… Because that’s what the eldest does.”

Lucia and Siana too. Becky too,

And Isabella too.

Since childhood, Mason has been their older sister, and she always will be.

She had neither anger nor resentment for her.

Even if you might be called foolish, understanding and embracing was comforting, and it was what your heart told you to do.

“Sorry.”

As Mason said and swept it away, the child stopped crying with difficulty.

Lifting her head from her shoulder, her child looked at her with her tear-stained face, then struggled to open her mouth.

“… When I wake up, I will forget this conversation.”

“I wish it wasn’t like that, but that’s a pity.”

“… It is even more difficult to put your mind into practice.”

“I know.”

“… It’s going to be a lot of work that doesn’t go your way.”

“… I will be patient.”

Just like what you did for her Lucia when she was thirteen, and how you ran off with her later for her Ciana.

Mason wiped the girl’s tears with her hand.

The girl sniffed her for a moment, then hugged her and whispered in her ear.

“… Bye. Gonna miss you.”

Mason whispered to her with a small smile on her lips.

“… Thank you. So do i.”

Like Mason, she hugged her thirteen-year-old self.

It was time to get up.