Chapter 81 – Confusion
I was awakened by something falling down.
When I forcibly opened my eyes, which did not open easily, there was light there.
It’s not a word written at the beginning of a certain religion’s scriptures, and I want to say something, but the situation I saw in front of my eyes was exactly what it said.
The light that was really coming in from somewhere was waking me up.
I was still lying in bed.
He habitually raised himself.
I soon realized my situation and waited for the shock to come a little later, but the shock did not come.
When nothing happened in a situation where I had to dig into my flesh right away, my head was confused.
It was strange.
It was an inappropriate word for the current situation, but it was awkward because there was none.
I looked down at my arm.
The arm was really clean.
If it had been tied and then untied, there would have been traces of it, but it was clean without any of that.
Are you dreaming?
I decided to try moving my legs.
There was no law saying that there could be only one and not two.
I tried moving both legs out of bed.
The moment I saw a leg I’d probably never see, the first emotion that came to me was not joy or anger for revenge, but embarrassment.
If I run away, why did she disappear with everything loose?
Freed up
A situation where you can go out as much as you want to leave this room.
But the body did not move.
Why.
Do you think you have to get out of here right now, but can’t actually put it into practice?
It was as if an unknown fear was gripping her body.
My mind told me to run away, but my body was strongly insisting not to do it as if I knew in advance the suffering that would be inflicted the moment I got caught.
Maybe I was already tamed by her.
In the midst of that conflict, my decision was to go out.
My body staggered the moment my legs accepted my weight.
Having experienced this, my life has never been ordinary.
Maybe I was just ignoring that unusualness and living my life.
Taking one step at a time, I made my way towards the door.
As if an animal seeing the world for the first time is trying to walk right away, it walks desperately with trembling legs.
I was repeatedly complaining of pain, saying that it was not the time yet, but I ignored it because it had to be now.
The door was very monotonous.
As if it was only here in this mansion.
Obviously, in my memory, the doors of this house must have been somewhat fancy, but why is only the door of this room like this?
My head hurts.
The sense of distance from the difference between the door in my memory and the door in the mansion was overshadowing the pain even more intensely.
No way.
Probably not
I couldn’t be in that space again.
Did I hear anything about the place after the incident?
Nothing seemed to have been heard about what had happened to the room after the investigation was over.
As soon as the fact settled in my head, a number of cases that I did not want to imagine began to be combined.
No way.
Am I trapped in that place again?
Suddenly, the hand that had been stretched out on the doorknob began to tremble.
Pure bodily memory in which no accident was involved.
I hated this place.
The footsteps moved one step back.
Subconscious fear.
The fear of not wanting to see the reality behind it.
The despair that will come when imagination becomes reality.
The three witches started playing in my head as if it were their own festival.
Breathing quickens
A voice comes from somewhere, as if to go back to bed and accept the comfort.
Even if that comfort is made up.
Twice.
Not twice.
Last time I couldn’t, but this time it had to be different.
I had to look behind the door.
Wrap your fingers around the stick.
Strengthen muscles that have been weakened by not being used.
Push it away
The grotesque sounds coming from the floor seemed to reflect the current state of mind.
The door opened slowly, and the moment I tried to look after it, I felt someone pulling me from behind.
Without knowing who was behind me, the door slammed shut with a loud noise, and I lost consciousness.
###
“Even the embarrassed look is lovely.”
My consciousness flipped and it was the first thing I heard.
She was looking at me with a chair next to me.
I was a little goosebumps when I thought that I had been like this ever since I fell asleep at some point.
“How much.”
Unfinished words were flying out of my mouth.
“How long has it been?”
At least I needed to know what time it is now, so I ask with a feeling of digging for even a clue.
“It’s been about two hours.”
Looking at the content, it was a very straightforward answer.
However, if you take a look at the words, there is a thorough calculation hidden in it.
When she talked to me after she brought me into this room, she didn’t say anything that would guess the date, day or time.
I couldn’t tell the date because I couldn’t even see a calendar from the beginning.
I don’t even know when is the last day I remember.
I think we went for a drink, but it was Thursday.
And most importantly, it was time.
Only artificial light, not natural light, illuminated the room.
Whether it is morning, afternoon, night, dawn or morning.
There was no way I could know.
Always she was in this room before I woke up and never left until I passed out.
It would be more correct to say that you don’t know when it will go out.
The only thing I could guess was when the meal was brought, but even that was not certain.
It was late at night, but how would my body know if I was thinking of having breakfast?
Then there was nothing to say about staying awake and watching her go out.
At some point I fell asleep and at some point I woke up.
The control given to me had long since disappeared one by one, and even the most primal desires were leaving my hands.
And, very cleverly, she did not let go of the initiative she had.
If she doesn’t tell me, even if she dies like this, she won’t even know the end of it.
A meal that could not be eaten unless she brought it.
It seemed clear now.
She, too, had the surname of Fellowes.
I don’t know what kind of training it was, but the performance was certain.
She was only hurt and crouched down, but she was a predator from the start.
“After…”
A heavy sigh came out.
I felt like I had to spit out the stuffiness in my body like this.
“Then, we should finish what we were talking about.”
It was a conversation that had already become more like a notification or a storytelling, but she still called it ‘dialogue’.
I wondered if there was anything more to do.
It seemed like a story that would only end with the conclusion that everything I expected was reality even if I had to go on like this anyway.
“Okay. Let’s ask one thing.”
Perhaps it would be a question that would reveal the essence of all this.
“Which one?”
“What kind of person is a person called me to you?”
These were things that couldn’t be explained with love alone, so they couldn’t be explained without love.
There was love in all of this, but the identity of that love was unknown to me.
“What kind of person is Ed to me?”
It was a statement that could have been infinitely serious, but she was smiling broadly as if asking if she was finally asking about it.
She seemed very happy, as her child boasted to her parents about what she had done.
“Ed, I mean, he’s the one who made me complete.”
“He’s the one who made it possible for me to live in this world as myself.”
It was an abstract word.
“I have lived with all kinds of negative emotions.”
She attached her body to me.
Now there was nothing between her and me.
A space where only eyes and eyes meet.
That was all.
“Haven’t I told you before? If I hadn’t met Ed, I’d just be sold somewhere in an arranged marriage.”
“Could you call it a person? It’s just infinitely close to an object.”
“Ed taught me, and because of that, the academy saw me differently, and now I started to see me as a person.”
“It must have been my parents who gave birth to me.”
“But it was Ed who made me complete.”
“Because she met Ed that day, I was able to live as myself, and she was able to love Ed.”
I couldn’t understand.
“So I’m having the happiest time in the world right now.”
She is calm, but behind her lies her own endless darkness.
As if it could come back at any time, it was only a momentary absence without disappearing.
“Just as I gave Ed everything, now I’ll give Ed everything.”
“Ed has gained everything since he met me, right?”
It was a word full of contradictions.
But it might not be wrong.
She has the wealth and power she can get if she stays with her and her future her whole life.
The fame she gained after she met her.
And maybe, with her help, a lifelong dream came true.
It was confusing.
The truth and the lies I knew were mixed together to hide my existence.
The truth was becoming a lie and the lie was becoming the truth.
“Hi-Hi.”
It was a laugh that seemed out of place.
What could be so fun
“Ed, who is thinking about love, looks so lovely that it drives me crazy.”
Because I Love You.
Those last words were echoing over and over again.
Is this… Love?
She held on to her silence, a mouth full of denial and denial.
“You can go crazy. I did too.”
Every word I heard was very sweet.
I don’t know what kind of poison is in that sweetness.
“It’s okay. I’m confident that I’ll love any Ed.”
It felt like it would be easier if I accepted her hand.
“Instead.”
“Please look only at me for the rest of your life.”
