Chapter 71 – Verification (2)
Why?
Why?
He was saying things to me that he wished he would never have said.
His head was full of confusion.
He was taking love away from me.
Just as the god of death takes away life.
Singly.
And slowly.
Every word he threw pierced my heart.
He wasn’t angry
He was just calmly telling me the truth.
He neither despised nor condemned me.
He was just looking at me like a man who was freed from everything.
Maybe he just wants to know the truth.
What you are asking me now is probably just to add confidence to that idea,
It was a sight that didn’t matter even if it wasn’t there.
Hate.
That his own words had no meaning to him.
Pain.
Just looking at him who doesn’t show me one of the many emotions.
He was holding his feet back from what he had done.
Like a ghost story that says those who have seen blood cannot get out of this place.
I wish he didn’t look at me with those eyes.
And.
That angel took away my trust for the last time.
Ah.
Why.
Are you saying that to me?
Her world was about to collapse.
###
Seria didn’t respond to my words.
She was just looking at me.
With tears flowing from your eyes.
I’d rather not hear anything.
Then there would be no problem with swearing and criticizing.
The remnants of memories were still holding on to my ankles.
It wouldn’t have come this far if it had only been a public relationship.
I could blame her, but does that make my karma go away?
No matter how much she said she didn’t know, it was me who allowed her to cross the line in my heart for her.
Was this also one of her calculations?
Close her distance from me so that I cannot abandon her even if she later admits all these truths about her.
The intricately intertwined things were embedded in the hearts of all of us and held a strong place.
To fall in love, to be hurt by love, to fall in love with someone again, and to be hurt again.
Is it human?
Maybe all of this is a human sin.
Can’t live alone.
It may be that the fundamentally inevitable situation pushed us all into this pit.
I heard a lot of thoughts.
Will she forgive her?
Then what about heina?
What if she doesn’t forgive and goes back to Heina?
Can I take her back?
I don’t know.
I didn’t mean to choose someone, but it was inevitable because of the flow.
But one thing was certain.
I had to put an end to this relationship.
“Seria.”
She was looking at my face without saying anything.
Maybe she had been looking at it for a while.
She was looking at me with a pitiful expression, as if telling me not to say anything else.
“I’ve been thinking a lot.”
It was a story of just the two of them.
Others would have to hear it to know what it was about, and they would not be able to understand it.
“When I first heard that you did it, I dismissed it as nonsense.”
“Why would you do such a thing? You were the one next to me right now.”
It was a happy time.
The first time I told someone my story, I was happy to have someone I could share something with.
“When someone first suggested the possibility, I didn’t believe it.”
“Maybe it was something I didn’t want to believe.”
“Am I saying this because I hate you? Then why am I slandering you when you could just attack me?”
It was bittersweet.
“However, things started to fit one by one, and the doubts that started didn’t stop.”
“No, no, even if you think about it, what should I say about situations that fit so well…”
“It was… So dark.”
“When I met Heina and heard the story, there was no turning back.”
Maybe all of this is my fault.
Because I didn’t know.
It might be my fault for accepting her without knowing anything.
I’m just afraid of losing her again and choosing her like I can’t lose her this time.
Ignorance isn’t a sin, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.
In a situation where I’m dipping my feet into this situation, I can’t say it’s not my fault.
It was the result of my choice, and the situation brought about by that choice.
“I just didn’t know you who dug into the blanks of my memory.”
“You proudly and successfully took a place in my heart.”
“Memories spent together, memories? I was happy, I had fun.”
“Maybe even if it remains as a bad memory, that memory will remain with me for the rest of my life.”
“But if your love contains such a secret…”
How long have you been running for this word?
I constantly doubt and refute that I won’t.
Amidst numerous debates, the conclusion had already been reached.
“I don’t think I can love you anymore.”
###
The end has come for her.
He’s done it, and that fact probably won’t change.
The arrow was shot and it pierced her heart.
What flowed from that heart was blood.
Blood mixed with all kinds of emotions.
Despair.
Desperation.
Heartbreak.
There were countless other emotions mixed and flowing.
Even that alone could not hold her back, but he was catching the arrow and pushing it deeper.
Truly cruel.
“So I want you to tell me one thing.”
“You did all of this right?”
He was waiting for the facts to come out of his mouth.
He waited for his answer, as if a person who knew the end was enjoying a game.
There were no options.
A silent answer would turn into a tacit acceptance, and a voiced answer would only become a certainty.
He looked at his face with a mix of emotions and then said his last words.
“Okay.”
He turned around and lay down as if he had nothing more to say.
An obvious sign of a celebratory party.
If you leave that door without saying anything like this, your love will end.
It couldn’t have ended like this.
###
“Are you running away again like this?”
She threw that out
But she didn’t look back.
She seemed to stop her if she talked to her.
She knows me inside and out, but I still don’t know her completely.
She tried to go back to sleep thinking about that, but…
“You’re running away because you’re afraid of losing again.”
Perhaps the one word that ran through my life came out of her mouth.
“No, maybe it’s because you don’t have the courage to face the loss.”
He stood up and looked at her.
Standing somewhere between sadness and anger, she seemed to have let go of everything.
“You don’t want to see the truth, so you’re trying to run away again using loss as an excuse.”
“After she lost her, she chose me as her refuge.”
“With this person, she won’t have to lose any more. That’s what I thought.”
“So you gave Ed the life he wanted without loss…”
The voice was getting quieter.
“But why…”
A brief silence filled the room.
Like the calm before the storm arrives.
“Why can’t I?”
“What am I worse than her?”
“It’s late…”
“Why can’t I have it!!!”
A sound that wouldn’t be strange if someone woke up echoed through the room.
She released all of her as if she had nothing to hide now.
The polite mother had long since changed.
“Why, why, why do you keep going to see her when I’m by your side?”
“A life of promise of wealth and honor awaits, so why don’t you accept it?”
“I just need to look at me, so why don’t you do that!”
“If that’s the case, don’t give me hope! Like everyone else, she should have just ignored it!”
“Why would you reach out to someone like me to give them hope and then take them away?”
She had to make a rebuttal, but was pushed back by the momentum.
“I cut out all the things that were aiming at Ed for Ed’s sake, so why am I not getting the reward?”
It was an irresistible word.
“What?”
My answer chilled the atmosphere.
She knew she had done something, but for a moment she didn’t even know what it was.
She gave a quiet smile.
“Now…”
“You’re starting to get a little interested now.”
“Tell me again.”
“I cut all the bitches around Ed.”
“Ed is only now recognizing his efforts.”
She was smiling as if she was happy.
“What have you done!!!”
“She didn’t do anything to her.”
“She was just constantly instilling insecurity around her.”
“Is that the end?”
Suddenly, I was holding her by the collar.
She was still happy as if that was okay.
“Well…”
“If you want to know more, shouldn’t you stay with me longer?”
It feels like something is disconnecting in her head, and like the last time, I was choking her.
A choking sound came from beneath me, but my reason showed no sign of returning.
Combining the facts would lead to a causal relationship, but I was not in that situation now.
I was just holding the person in front of me accountable.
“Because of you…”
Her expression did not change as if she was happy even in the current situation.
Just a slight frown on the restricted breathing.”
“Because of me?”
“Even if you think so, there is nothing to say. It’s because of me. I just gave you anxiety by the side, and that anxiety exploded.”
There was nothing to say about her manner of talking as if it were someone else’s business.
She brought her own hand towards her mine which was holding her.
Then she started pulling towards herself.
Her throat, which had been subjected to the force of two people, began to thump more often, as if it was an immediate reaction.
“Ed, you hate me.”
“You caused a stir by interfering in Ed’s quiet life.”
“I’ll take all of Ed’s wrath.”
Therefore.
“Stroke me. Kill me and run away, will that relieve your anger?”
“And live happily ever after with her.”
She was forcing me to make a choice.
It’s as if this situation was expected.
“From the first time I saw him… I… Wanted to give my all to Ed.
If what you want… Is my life… I’ll give it to you.”
“Do as you like, Ed.”
Whatever choice you make, I will gladly accept it.
I heard our commotion, and I heard people coming upstairs from downstairs.
The strength applied to the hand increased.
I couldn’t turn back now.
I heard the door open.
