Chapter 148 – Chapter 148
The breath escaped from the lips that met.
Eun-ah opened her eyes, feeling the hot breath seeping into her.
“Ah…”
The spot where the tears flowed down his cheek was as hot as if it had been set on fire.
Memories overlap in her mind. It didn’t feel like a definite, rushing feeling for a moment.
The fragments of her memories were so naturally intertwined that she wondered why she hadn’t recalled this, as if it just permeated her.
Her mother’s funeral, the memory of that day comes to mind.
It reminds me of the dark pupils that were shot at me. It reminds me of overlapping whispers, the cold floor, and the smell of incense that makes my head dizzy.
Then, she thinks of ‘I’ who used to walk around the house alone. It reminds me of ‘I’ shedding tears from the chill that enveloped her whole body.
It reminds me of ‘me’ who read fairy tales, followed by ‘me’ who longed for the princess in the fairy tale.
It reminds me of ‘I’ who had a heartbeat when I finally met the bee.
It reminds me of a different bee that I didn’t know about.
Bee, who saved another ‘me’, sometimes like a child, sometimes like a cool knight, started to settle in one side of her memory.
Eun-ah looked at Do-gyun on her frown with her trembling eyes.
“Oh, honey bee…”
Startle. Do-gyun’s body trembled. Do-gyun noticed that Eun-a was calling him now at the change in the title he was calling himself.
“… Eun-ah.”
A voice that sounds like everything is going to collapse. In response, Eun-ah stretched out her arms and wrapped her Do-gyun around her head, and buried her Do-gyun in her arms.
Eun-ah didn’t know what to say, she just shrugged her shoulders and let her cry out like that.
‘I’ who suffered on behalf of herself, Eunji. Because I feel so sorry for that little piece that I finally realized happiness, and also because I am grateful and proud.
So she cried.
Do-gyun’s arms wrapped around Eun-ah’s waist. Eun-a felt her breasts getting wet.
The cold air that surrounded them withdrew their warmth from each other.
It was only after Eun-a cried and cried for a long time that she was able to get her words out in a trembling tone.
“Oh, thank you…”
For not letting go of yourself
“Again, I’m sorry…”
For making me sick
“That, and…”
Chin. She was speechless. When she tried to speak more, the water that had built up to the tip of her chin crushed her best language into sobs.
As Eun-ah cried, she hugged Do-gyun tighter.
Do-kyun sobbed silently at the grief that was tight inside him, and finally came up with a question.
“… I did a good job right?”
Eventually, she cried.
She should have sent it with a smile, but she wanted to send it with a smile, but she cried.
She tried to let her go so that there would be no regrets left behind, but when it finally arrived, what filled her mind was her past self who hadn’t done better.
One step too late, a realization arose.
The sadness of parting was not something that could be endured by preparing for it.
“Huh…”
A deep breath escaped from his gaping teeth, which trembled.
Her head rang with a ‘jing’ because of the emotions that shook her whole inside.
Eun-ah’s answer came after she cried in a mess like that again.
“Yes…”
It was a small sound. It was a weak voice that was quickly dissipated by the sound of the wind.
“You did very well. Do, I was happy…”
Dokyun closed his eyes feeling a hand sweeping the back of his head.
“Uh, Eunji… ‘I… I was so happy to be with Bee…”
Eun-ah soothed Do-gyun, who was crying, then dropped Do-gyun from her arms and met her eyes with Do-gyun, doing everything she could to bring up a bright smile.
“Oh, it’s because you’re a bee. So I was so happy.”
Saying that, Eun-ah put her foreheads against Do-gyun.
The little child in her own heart, the child who cried because she was so lonely.
Now she is barely alone.
*
Winding mountain road.
A corner valley with few people and only four or five cars that I saw driving by.
Do-gyun passed by the road in the middle of the day and arrived at a place.
What I could see out of the car window was a large park cemetery that filled up one mountain peak.
The tombs are arranged neatly in rows. And the tombstones in front of them.
The tomb of Eun-ah’s mother, Seo Han-kyung, was located here.
“Arrived.”
“Yes, yes…”
Do-kyun turned his head and looked at Eun-ah.
It seemed that he was thinking of a complicated state of mind that was filled with tension.
Do-gyun felt a tingling sensation in his stomach.
What brought me to this place today… It was because of Eun-ah’s request.
Eun-ah, who had not mentioned her mother even after her delusion was broken, said that she wanted to visit her mother’s grave only after she had recovered all of her memories of Eun-ji.
Even as Do-kyun, who wanted to respect Eun-ah’s heart, this request caused her troubles.
In Do-gyun’s perception, Seo Han-kyung was a person who could not be viewed favorably no matter how hard he tried, so Do-gyun felt that his mind was complicated by the request.
It was Eun-ah’s pain and the person who was sad.
The one who made her split herself apart and hide in her delusions.
Wouldn’t it hurt Eun-ah to see the traces of such a person? I felt that way and continued her worries.
– Boo, please…
Do-gyun could not refuse the request, which he fulfilled while holding his hand tightly.
Do-kyun asked a question while holding onto Eun-ah’s hand, who was constantly fidgeting.
“Are you okay?”
Eun-ah looked at Do-gyun’s hand overlapping hers, took a deep breath, and corrected her expression as she answered her question.
“Yeah… !”
A face full of resoluteness.
In response, Do-gyun opened the car door with a smile on his face.
It was a place where the warm sunlight and the stillness of the mountainside created a peaceful atmosphere.
The two of them, holding each other’s hands, were walking along a road that was one step away from the hustle and bustle of the city, and were able to reach the tombstone after walking for about 10 minutes.
Do-gyun read the three letters engraved on the tombstone, Seo Han-gyeong, and the date of birth and death engraved in smaller letters next to it, then looked at the grave.
He was someone I had never met, but he meant a lot to Do-kyun.
Why not Isn’t Eun-ah’s novel, which she stole and put out into the world, made who she is today?
Isn’t that novel what made him meet Eun-ah?
To Do-gyun, Seo Han-kyung was such a person.
Idol of childhood.
The first loss of oneself at that time.
Plus, he hurts the person he loves.
Do-gyun felt strange emotions rising as he looked at the neatly trimmed tomb.
Complex emotions that cannot be defined in one word. Feeling him, Do-gyun took a step back and bowed twice to the tombstone.
It was a minimal courtesy for the dead.
After bowing like that, Do-kyun stood up again and looked at Eun-ah as she stroked the tombstone with a wavering expression.
He didn’t open his mouth.
To help Eun-ah control her heart, she just stayed by her side.
The meaning of Seo Han-kyung to Eun-ah. Even if you understand him with your head, it’s because you can’t fully understand his emotions.
No matter how much you sympathize with that feeling, you can’t understand the pain better than the person who has been hurt.
Eun-a placed a bunch of fresh flowers in front of the tombstone and swept the tombstone like that for a while.
Eun-ah’s mouth opened when she was sweeping the tombstone and frowning.
“Mi, I’m sorry…”
It wasn’t something he said to Do-gyun.
These were the words handed to Seo Han-gyeong on the tombstone.
“I was trying to understand. But uh, since it’s my mother, I was going to…”
A cry is added to the voice. In his frowning eyes, there was a glimmer of water.
“Yo, I can’t forgive you…”
What vomited was resentment.
“My mother is so… , I hate it so much.”
Kwak. The hand that was sweeping the tombstone formed his fist.
You who abandoned me, you who made me lonely in the end were not forgiven.
“Ah, maybe. I will never find you again… Uh, my mother is a very sick person to me. Because I don’t want to be sick anymore…”
As much as I cried because of you, now I want to laugh.
“That, so… Just… , I will cry for my mother only today…”
Eun-a said so and shuddered. He wept.
Finally, I will draw you just for today. As much as she made up her mind, she cried as if she would vomit all the sorrow she had accumulated.
I won’t draw you anymore
I will leave all the longing that has burned black here.
Empty and empty, I will fill in the place with other things.
The flowing tears, the sobbing that comes out without knowing it, are over today.
These are the things you should leave at your place.
Those are things, so I won’t try to pick them up and swallow them.
I will pour out all the sadness that rises in this place.
Do-kyun went to Eun-ah’s side and wrapped her arms around Eun-ah’s shoulders.
Took. Took. He patted her on the shoulder and gave Eun-ah what she had so that she could cry freely.
Do-gyun quietly hugged her so that she could get rid of all the lingering feelings she couldn’t shake off.
*
A long time has passed since the day Eun-ji merged and I visited Seo Han-gyeong’s grave.
The world was preparing for summer.
The world, which had been dyed in colorful colors, began to shake off those colors and fill the place with greenery.
The sun began to rise in a higher place, and the warmth that had been warming the body accordingly turned into heat.
As time passed, of course there were changes along with it.
The biggest change would be that Hankyung Seo’s studio, which had remained a locked room, was now an empty room.
All traces of her in the studio were removed.
So, after thinking about how to use the now empty studio, it remained empty in the end.
It is because the conclusion came to think about it later.
As for Eunji, as the saying goes, time is medicine, and the sadness of that time now remains as a vague memory.
The day of farewell that finally came true. The memory of crying and crying like that is now and now it has settled in a corner of my heart as a faint memory.
The moment you think about it, a smile, not a tear, comes to mind.
It’s not that there is no sadness left at all, but the reason why you can still think of a smile is because Eun-ji hasn’t completely disappeared.
I can’t meet like before.
However, there were clear traces of Eunji.
It was buried in Eun-ah’s actions.
… So, like now.
“Oh, honey bee… I’m so depressed…”
Do-gyun looked at Eun-ah, who was sprawling on the sofa looking for water.
Eun-a, who was lying on Do-gyun’s thigh with a drowsy face while taking a break from writing the manuscript, said those words.
“Can you wait a moment?”
“Yes…”
When Do-gyun put his hand on Eun-ah’s head, Eun-ah raised her head following Do-gyun’s hand with a sleepy face.
Do-gyun, who was heading to the kitchen to fill his glass with water, smiled at Eun-ah, who was drooping like a sloth.
Even though we don’t meet that stubborn little boy anymore, we can still feel the traces of that little boy, and in moments like this, we can laugh.
Do-gyun returned to the sofa, handed Eun-ah a glass, and spat out words.
“Here you go.”
“Oh~.”
Eun-ah opened his mouth just as he was lying down.
Do-kyun put a troubled expression on his face and let out a laugh.
“When you lie down and drink, you hear cases. You should get up and drink.”
“Yes…”
Eun-a whimpered and stood up, then opened her mouth again.
When Do-gyun brought a glass to him, Eun-ah gulped down on him and made a loud sound.
It was a very peaceful atmosphere.
It was a time when Eun-ah had become accustomed to working at a department store and had some free time, and the [Bug Catching Girl] She was writing was also slowly entering its final chapter.
All the hard work she had done so far was bearing fruit.
Do-gyun also saw Eun-ah laying her head on his thighs, and he thought of the idea of telling the story of a decision he hadn’t been able to talk about for a long time.
“Miss Eun.”
“Yes…”
“Can I go back to work now?”
“Yes?”
“I want to go back to work soon.”
Yes, reinstatement.
Isn’t Eun-ah’s condition improving beyond words?
Now that Do-gyun has more time to deal with his work alone, it’s really time to go back to work.
With that thought in mind, Eun-ah, who had blinked her eyes, realized the meaning of her words a step later, and she stood up in amazement.
“Yes, yes… ?”
A deep bewilderment appeared on her face.
