Chapter 118 – Chapter 118
Three more days passed.
In the meantime, Do-gyun has focused on teaching Eun-chae knowledge about life in general, and making her able to do basic things alone.
And today, when Do-gyun finally saw Eun-chae successfully brushing her teeth alone, she smiled and clapped.
“Yeah, that’s it! Well done!”
Oh, it was really hard.
If you put toothpaste on your toothbrush, don’t you suck it up? If you tell me to brush your teeth, don’t you brush your gums? As the past moments pass by, a deep emotion fills up.
“Well done?”
“Yeah, really good job!”
Do-kyun tousled Eun-chae’s hair and let her laugh. Eun-chae raised the corner of her mouth and made a smile.
“Is Eun-ah a good child?”
“Then! She is the nicest kid in the world.”
“Yes.”
Snap. Eun-chae’s head nodded. Do-gyun looked at the situation and noticed that Eun-chae’s face was wet, so she wiped him off and walked into the living room.
Immediately after, Do-gyun, who was sitting on the sofa, patted Eun-chae on the back as he clung to me, continuing his thoughts.
You still have to use a fork to eat, but it’s not a big deal if you can’t use chopsticks, so that part was fine.
The problem is.
‘How should I take a shower…’
He couldn’t do anything by himself, so he was doing it himself, but it couldn’t be too difficult every time he had a shower.
As if Eun-chae didn’t know the concept of shame, she tried to cling to me even when she was naked, so Do-gyun had to fight with himself by making her take a shower.
Suddenly, this morning came to Do-gyun’s mind.
– Bee.
-Yes?
– It stings my eyes.
While washing his hair, after saying that, Eunchae clung to me and rubbed her body.
Thinking of him, he sighed for a while, but Do-gyun, who soon brushed away his thoughts, moved his gaze and looked at Eun-chae, who was dozing in his arms.
‘Sleep again.’
Eunchae slept so much that it was unbelievable.
I slept a lot, to the extent that I slept longer than I was awake during the day.
Looking back on the past three days, most of them were moments like this. When Eun-chae crawls into my arms and curls up on her to fall asleep, she herself pats him.
While sleeping, if Eunchae was laid down to do other housework, it would wake up like a ghost and cling to it, so I couldn’t do anything else.
When she thinks of him, she bursts out laughing again.
‘More than Eunji.’
If Eun-ji is an ugly 7-year-old, Eun-chae really has the personality of a newborn baby who is one or two years old.
She knows nothing, so she puts her instincts first. That’s why I’m honest with my feelings and always try to express everything I can.
It is a problem that it manifests itself in the form of seizures or self-injury, but Do-gyun believes that this can also be sufficiently corrected through education.
Above all, he hadn’t had a single seizure in the past three days.
If you teach them one by one like this, one day you will be able to teach Eunchae that those ‘good things’ are unnecessary.
‘Someday…’
Continuing his thoughts, Do-gyun felt the hand that had been patting his back stop.
Later. After. End.
The end with Ko Eun-chae.
While thinking about it, Do-gyun remembered Eun-chae’s face, which looked somewhat comfortable, and reached out his hand and brushed her under her eyes as he thought.
When you think like this, you realize. That this moment cannot last forever.
Eun-chae had to disappear. It wasn’t just a story about Eun-chae. All of Eun-ah’s personalities were personalities that should eventually disappear.
It was a chore to her heart, but it was inevitable in order to break Eun-ah’s delusion and return Eun-ah’s time.
As long as these personalities remain, Eun-ah cannot escape from her delusion forever. Her time will still stand still.
Even Eun-seol knew this. Because that was the reason she wanted to disappear when all of her work was over.
This was the reason why a corner of my heart was uncomfortable while building relationships and accumulating time.
Getting close to Eun-ah’s other personalities was like lining up her dominoes somewhere. The mechanism of adding one by one to defeat her was like that.
A domino that cannot and should not be stopped.
Do-gyun, who wanted to feel his stomach clogged up at the thought that came to his mind, quickly brushed his teeth and brushed it off, and as always, made up his mind.
Even though it was a relationship with a fixed end, the process was not fixed either.
Do-gyun said he just had to do the best he could. If he had to end it, if he had to break up after all.
What he has to do is not to be sad in the process, so that there will be no regrets in the parting that will finally come. All I had to do was to do my best every moment so they wouldn’t be sad in the upcoming breakup.
When the moment finally arrives to knock down the dominoes, it is his job to do his best so that he can laugh at the falling pieces one by one and not just be vain.
Do-gyun’s hand patted Eun-chae’s back again.
Eun-chae wants to live.
She couldn’t know
She was revealing her will for her life so blatantly.
He devours other personalities, and also tries to devour Eun-ah. I want you to look at his own existence.
Why not The moment Eun-chae had a seizure was when she was shunned.
Now I knew
Eun-chae hoped that she herself would be a single being.
She hoped that she would be a complete being, not a remnant of emotions that could not be separated from Eun-ah.
Paradoxically, she wanted herself to be Eun-ah even while Eun-chae was doing so.
Do-kyun thought that this was because Eun-chae thought of Eun-ah as the most important being. Whatever it is, isn’t Eun-A the owner of that body?
However, it may be a selfish thought, but Do-gyun wanted Eun-chae to admit that she was Eun-chae.
It’s because he wanted to convey those words.
You don’t have to be Eun-ah, you have enough value even if you are Eun-chae, you don’t have to replace Eun-ah. I wanted to say that.
That’s why Do-gyun earnestly wished for it.
Please, may the coming end be happy.
I hope the moment will come when she won’t have to call herself Eun-ah anymore.
I hope she can smile brightly and call herself Eunchae.
*
It was well over an hour later that Eunchae woke up.
Slowly opening her eyes, Eun-chae narrowed her eyes, then lifted her head to check Do-gyun’s face before stretching.
Eun-chae, who twisted her body in the middle of her body and cast her gaze at Do-gyun again, looked at her face and tilted her head and threw out a question.
“Are you sick bee?”
“Yes?”
Words heard. At that, Do-gyun remembered that his expression was dark, and shook his head while trying to remember his smile.
“It doesn’t hurt.”
“… Honey Bee looks sick.”
Eun-chae’s outstretched hand touched Do-gyun’s cheek. Swoop. Swoop. Eun-chae, who was brushing Do-gyun’s cheek, immediately frowned with a creaking movement and spoke again.
“When the bee is sick, Eun-ah is sad.”
Words that are passed on.
To that, Do-gyun pursed his lips for a moment, then asked a question with a bitter smile.
“Yes? Then how about Eunchae?”
“Yes?”
It was a question she asked with a feeling of pity for her calling herself Eun-ah.
Immediately after, Eun-chae’s head tilted and tilted at the question handed to her. In response, Do-gyun brushed Eun-chae’s cheek and spat out the words again.
“I’m also curious about Eunchae’s mood.”
“I don’t have silver.”
“Really?”
Do-gyun looked at Eun-chae, who hesitated at my question, and moved his hand to pat Eun-chae on the back, then added a word.
“It’s a pity, I like Eunchae too.”
“… Do not have.”
It seemed not yet. Eun-chae seemed to still need some time.
A little bitter inside.
Do-gyun felt him and patted her on the back.
*
Another two days passed.
Do-gyun laughed at Eun-chae, who was staring at the pond in the garden.
Once a day, when she leaves the yard like this, Eunchae first heads for the pond.
When I come to the pond, I keep looking at the carp until I get tired of it, and when I get tired of it, I finally head to another place.
While thinking about that, Do-gyun, who laughed again at the sight of Eun-chae with her mouth open saying ‘heh’, spat out a question in a tone full of laughter.
“Do you like carp that much?”
“Yes?”
Eun-chae raised her head at Do-gyun’s question.
Immediately after, Eun-chae, who had been looking at the pond and Do-gyun for a while, put her head on the nape of Do-gyun’s neck and spat out an answer with a muffled pronunciation.
“Bees are better.”
“Would you mind?”
Do-gyun’s hand began to pat Eun-chae’s back.
Eun-chae closed her eyes and felt her hand patting her back, feeling ‘comfortable’.
The moment the bee patted my back like this was so good that I didn’t think about anything.
It was all languid and cozy, and I felt like I was about to fall asleep.
Eun-chae was no longer afraid of her falling asleep. When she sleeps, Bee-sama hugs her all the time, and when she wakes up, Bee-sama smiles at her.
Falling asleep was no longer scary.
Eun-chae, who had been enjoying the warmth surrounding her body for a long time, raised her head and looked at the bee.
The corners of her mouth were raised, and her eyes were well curved.
Seeing that expression, she followed her eyes and lifted the corners of her mouth, but she saw herself reflected in Mr. Bee’s eyes and had a different expression from Mr. Bee’s.
Why. As she thought about that and looked into her eyes like that, Mr. Bee let out a giggle.
“You can’t force yourself like that.”
What you always say to me However, it was difficult for Eunchae to understand the meaning of the words.
He just nodded his head saying that it is because Mr. Bee said he would find out someday.
For a while, Bee’s hand, which had been patting her back the whole time, touched her cheek, and soon the corner of her mouth was raised.
Eun-chae closed her eyes, remembering that her cheeks were warm.
Closing her eyes like this, she had something else on her mind.
The bee sees herself once and says ‘Eunchae’. That’s why he says there is no Eunchae, but then Mr. Bee looks sick and becomes sad.
‘Does the bee like Eunchae?’
When I think of that, I hate Eunchae. I am Eun-ah, but Bee only thinks of Eun-chae.
… Who is Eunchae to make Bee-nim think that way? Eun-chae seemed to be a really envious person.
Bee thinks of me even when I’m not here, and reminds me of Eunchae when I see other people. Eun-chae is probably the happiest person in the world.
*
Two more days passed, and Do-gyun untied Eun-chae’s ankle cuffs.
It was because I was convinced that these handcuffs were no longer meaningful.
Eun-chae had no more seizures. Even if you take the risk and touch the trigger, you just blankly tilt your head.
To what extent have your efforts so far paid off? Do-gyun put the released handcuffs on the bedside shelf and looked at Eun-chae.
Seeing her free feet, Eunchae wiggled her ankles and wiggled her toes before clinging to me.
Do-gyun looked at him and let out a laugh, then patted Eun-chae on the back and spat out words.
“You can walk alone now.”
“Eun-ah needs to stay attached to Mr. Bee.”
After Eun-chae said that, she raised her head and met Do-gyun’s eyes, then spoke again.
“Without the bee, Eun-ah is useless.”
Do-gyun found himself startled by the words he heard.
Why are you saying that… I couldn’t know
It must be because of the ‘good work’.
It must be because she thinks that ‘good work’ can be completed only when she is present.
Soon after, Do-gyun patted Eun-chae on the back and spoke in a calm tone.
“It is useless.”
“Yes?”
“It is useless to me. Even if you’re not attached to me, even if you’re just the way you are, you’re a very precious person to me.”
“Why?”
Do-gyun looked at Eun-chae, who tilted his head and spit out a question.
How should I say it. He continued to think about it for a while, then spat out the appropriate words out of my mouth.
“Memory.”
“Memory?”
“Yes, because I remember what happened with you. The day you used a fork for the first time, the day you brushed your teeth alone, or the day you fed carp together will all remain in my memory. I will remember that moment for the rest of my life and be happy.”
Do-gyun looked at Eun-chae, who narrowed his forehead, as if he did not understand it well, let out a chuckle and pushed his forehead up with his index finger as he continued.
“People are like that. When a difficult moment comes in your life, remember the happy times. I collect precious moments one by one and think of them in difficult moments. After that, I overcome the difficult moments with the strength of the memories of that time.”
A face still full of doubts.
To that, Do-kyun continued her words, recalling that he had become so used to her that he could read her emotions from her face.
“So, you are useless. Because everything that happened with you is such a precious memory to me. Because it gave me memories to recall in difficult moments in my life. You are as precious as you are to me.”
“… Even if you are a bad child?”
A question that came after a long discussion.
Do-kyun replied by patting Eun-chae’s head.
“Even if you are the worst child in the world.”
After he finished talking, Do-kyun continued to think about his words for a long time, then saw Eun-chae nodding slightly, and smiled and nodded.
