Chapter 244 – Ep.17 – Loss (1)
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… A fairly old woman is wandering the street.
She scans the passers-by with her ungainly, trembling eyes, desperately searching for one face that will never be forgotten.
However, the streets are filled with countless indifference, and no one talks to the woman or shows her any favors.
It’s true that sometimes someone comes up to her, takes pity on her, and hands her a warm can of coffee,
After that short relationship ends, there is no one left by her woman’s side and only a lonely space exists.
As she wanders aimlessly alone, she reaches a familiar intersection,
She seems to be thinking this as she looks at the long banner positioned between the crosswalk traffic lights.
‘I think I hung it too high. People pass by without even looking.’
The banner, which is regularly paid for and hung up, has a square photo and large letters written on it.
[We are looking for missing family members.]
[I will definitely repay anyone who knows the whereabouts of my son or is looking for him.]
Next to it, all kinds of personal information, starting with the name, is written, but unlike other banners of missing people, the details about the disappearance seem quite complicated and strange.
[Disappeared from home around April 2.]
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As soon as he reads the strangely written sentence, the man becomes thoughtful and even begins to stutter.
“Um, what does that mean? I never understand…”
The notice posted on the poster clearly lists the charges as well as the personal information of the criminal who will soon be executed.
[Blasphemy]
“No? Yes? Right…?”
Even a man with little learning experience cannot possibly know the meaning of that terrifying word. The man just wants to believe that his stupid mind is not even able to read properly.
Therefore, men wait for a firm and clear negative answer from those around them.
However, they do not give an answer and give a different look than usual.
Sadness, or fear,
He is wary of trying to keep his distance, lest he himself be harmed,
Sarcasm, or disbelief, for thinking that would happen.
The man cannot tell whether this is reality or a nightmare.
“Something… Oh, I think there’s a misunderstanding. My daughter can’t be like that. You all know that, right? The sisters know that too…?”
That must have been a poster made by mistake. It has to be that way. There is no way such a ridiculous charge could be levied against our good daughter.
The man can no longer bear the rapidly rising fear and anxiety and hurriedly leaves.
Until you completely leave the square,
The eyes of the people of Seongguk are focused on him.
A white cloth, dressed to cover the entire body, flutters hastily in the air.
It’s a look that doesn’t suit a man who always smiles softly and walks discreetly.
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The woman who keeps lowering her head in front of the civil servant who is typing meaninglessly on the keyboard also looks very different from before.
She wondered if there would be a civic group or local government that would support her in finding her son, so she went around asking questions herself,
The response given to the woman is usually cold or merely formal.
“Mother, you know that the process is very complicated. There are limits to what we can do. No, just because we step forward doesn’t mean the police will work harder, nor will the investigation progress much further. Because?”
That is correct. There isn’t much that civil servants sitting in front of their desks can do.
And in fact, there are very few people who talk to this level, and even those who do, mostly give formal answers and then say something like this.
“We’ve already provided enough support. No, men don’t normally receive proper support, right? Despite that, we’ve tried our best to help them. But if you keep coming and interfering with work like this, we’ll be in trouble too.”
The woman keeps repeating, “Yes, I know. I’m sorry…”, But there are some people among her who spit out angrily at the top of her head. Although she spends most of her workday using her cell phone, she frowns and shows signs of annoyance when a woman comes to visit.
“Why are you fucking with us?”
The words sound so vivid, but the woman doesn’t show much, bows her head as low as she can and leaves, expressing her gratitude.
It seems like he believes that one day they will help him become more truthful.
Or maybe it’s because the only people you can trust and rely on are people like that.
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“You can’t do this. How much do we trust and rely on the bishop, how much…”
“You can say that, but it doesn’t change anything. It’s just as it’s written here, brother.”
It doesn’t make sense.
Heresy? Impure?
The man’s vision is so distant that he moves away. It would be better if this moment were a nightmare. If it had been an unpleasant and disgusting nightmare, I could have sworn a few words and then gone back to sleep.
“But, doesn’t that child definitely have holy protection? Just as it appears in the prophecy…”
“Wouldn’t that make it even more of a problem? If a child who was predicted to save the world in the future tries to refuse that mission, what on earth would it be other than a heretic that dishonors God?”
The bishop, whose face is completely covered, asks the man a question. Her cold expression is vaguely visible beyond the pitch black silk.
“Brother, please don’t say anything more. My position is already in a lot of trouble because of that child and you.”
“Just a moment, please! Bishop! I-I’m begging you like this. Please…”
The man quickly approaches the bishop on his knees and begins to pray until his hands are worn out.
If that’s not enough, you can always hit your forehead on the ground. Pride is not important now.
“Please! If you could please tell the archbishop or the cardinal something…”
“… Not possible.”
“Oh, otherwise! Please allow me to talk to my child for a moment. Please…”
“It’s not possible.”
“Isn’t that possible? I’m asking you this…”
Mate-!
The man cannot continue talking. His left cheek becomes red and swollen and begins to itch.
“It’s impossible. I told you to do it in moderation.”
“Oops!”
The bishop pushes the man in the stomach with his foot and returns to his own table. The man, who is already very small, has to lie on the carpet for a long time, clutching his tingling cheeks and throbbing stomach, to soothe the pain.
“Ha… How on earth should I raise a child, damn…”
It seems quite embarrassing, even for her, to see her randomly spewing out harsh words that are not appropriate for her position as a bishop.
“Anyway, it’s the innocent commoners who create problems! Like you!”
Unable to control her anger, she jumps up again and screams.
“Why can’t you trust a bitch who grew up without a love… Ha, even God is indifferent. Why should I trust a bitch like that…”
The man, still curled up on the ground, is full of worry about his daughter even as he hears those harsh words,
The bishop’s emotions do not stop and only become more intense.
“Fuck me! I wish I had brought him in, fed him, and put him to sleep! I wish God would bless him! All you have to do is know some grace and act properly! That’s hard!?”
Grabbing the hair of a crouching man and dragging him,
After throwing it out the door,
The bishop says this and closes the door.
“… Just live as if you’re dead. Don’t make things worse.”
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Bang-
The door closes.
The woman’s hands are full of side dishes. The green onions sticking out of her black plastic bag sway back and forth in time with her steps.
The first thing I do as soon as I get home is make dinner.
The first thing she does is boil her soybean paste stew. Although she likes to cook anchovy soup the most, she always buys expensive beef to make the soup.
I can still vividly see how my son, who was not good at eating fish, got irritated when he saw the anchovies in the mushy stew. Even though it has already been more than ten years, she seems to have not forgotten what happened then.
Even after graduating from high school, she often made soybean paste stew with anchovies in it, and now that her son is all grown up, she doesn’t particularly hate anchovy soup.
The woman boils the oily stew, unable to digest it properly with her weak stomach, and checks the taste of the soup.
Since her son disappeared,
Not once has she made soup with anchovies.
… The woman does not lift her spoon for a long time even with her fully prepared table in front of her. The steaming stew cools, the fluffy egg rolls become hard, and the rice begins to lose its stickiness.
Nevertheless, she waits for the front door to open and for her son to come in.
Of course, the only one who opens the door and comes in is my husband.
After working late and working overtime, he sits down at the table in silence, says a prayer, and begins to eat.
He eats very naturally and naturally, as if to express that he must be as strong as he is,
I always feel sick after forcing more than before, so I drink digestive medicine.
At least when the husband finishes eating, the woman also picks up the spoon. He realizes what a waste it is and moves his chopsticks to fill his stomach little by little, but he never touches his son’s favorite egg rolls.
Never.
Today, the egg rolls look especially pretty, so I can’t touch them.
