Chapter 115 – Ep.7 – Again, Fucked Like a Dog (2)
As we go through life, we meet people like that from time to time.
That person is different from me.
No matter how hard I try, I can’t reach it.
I often meet people who have these thoughts.
When you meet such people, there are times when you are engulfed in negative emotions without even realizing it.
Can I become like that person even if I try?
No, can I follow you?
I don’t think he can win even if he devotes his whole life to it.
Never.
“Ughhhhh”
Even before I was sent here, I saw several people who made me feel that way.
A person who has talent in studies, a person who has talent in arts and sports, a person who has a lot of fun talking, a person who attracts people with his atmosphere even when he is still…
“Huh! Paha… Ha, ha…”
Of all those people, the one I envied the most was my best friend who carelessly showed off his toned body after gym class.
I can’t remember the name very well. We were obviously close, but now it’s blurry.
That bastard had always lived in a different world from me.
Everyone chased after him when he enjoyed a bout of sports to the point of being drenched in sweat. Did you say you heard it at the canteen?
If I was always being led by a group of girls and talking nonsense, he would always lead all the boys with a big laugh and joke about leaving the world.
[Ugh, the classroom must smell like sweat again. Wow!]
[It’s really annoying.]
All the girls around were swearing at him,
I always seemed to be staring at him with envy.
Behind him, who lives a life so different from mine, I used to sit still and feel stagnant.
Looking back now, I wonder if that was a kind of inferiority complex.
To that bastard who had something I didn’t have, I always harbored an inferiority complex.
Always.
The bastard always turned the classroom upside down, but nobody really hated him. Everyone liked him Even the picky, irritated girls didn’t hate him.
Neither did I.
We have always been friends.
We’ve always been together since we were young, and as time goes by, the world we live in has changed so much,
Still, we were always friends.
I lived with envy of my friends.
The bastard who always came to talk to me at recess and was kicked out by the girls was my best friend,
I’m sure that bastard didn’t harbor any inferiority feelings towards me, but
I was always envious.
You were envious
Really.
I exercised every day because I wanted to become a man like you.
The fact that I followed you to the gym you went to after the exam was actually because I wanted to be like you.
You’ve always been full of confidence.
Sometimes I showed a weak side, and I confessed a few times and cried out loud saying that I was dumped, but
In the end, you did everything you wanted to do.
You were envious
Everyone followed you
I found you
Follow me,
There were kids looking for me,
I wanted to be by your side
You were always brave, you shined,
Because he was the most fitting bastard for the word ‘man’ I know.
“Huff… Buhup… Chump, chuup…”
I knew too.
I still know.
That I’ll never be like you
No matter how hard you try,
No matter how much you exercise,
I couldn’t be a man like you
Is there a congenital decrease in male hormones?
Or, was there a lot of female hormones?
Would it be different if I put the medicine on it?
No. I didn’t have the courage to do that.
We were different
From one to ten, everything was different.
By nature, the two of us walked different paths.
You were a man who would go through everything like a man.
If I had been born a little earlier, I would have played an active part in a place like a war while hearing the sound of a hero.
But I
It’s always been like this.
“Paha, pahab- heeup… Chuhab… Chug…”
Always dragged around,
I couldn’t work hard for a dream like you,
Boys notice me when I’m around,
Even if girls want to be alone, they always come next to me and talk to me,
I was treated so strangely that I wished I had been born as a woman.
Seriously, it might have been better if it had been a woman.
“Listen to your waist.”
You said something stupid.
I’m saying that I’ll make good use of my strengths.
Yeah I know
You didn’t know how much it hurt.
Ordinary boys wouldn’t even be offended by such words.
But, what you said
It was the same as telling me to accept everything and live like a girl, even my personality.
That’s why I cried
You said sorry to me belatedly,
Actually I wasn’t mad at you.
I mean, you were mad at me for not being able to deny what you said.
You didn’t have to say you’re sorry
“Delrin…”
However,
I mean here
Because men and women are reversed,
Guys like me must be popular.
Isn’t it funny?
“I’ll put it in.”
There is this person
Much rougher than you, violent,
He’s a total thug.
“It’s blurry… Slow, slow… Slow down, slow down…”
But it’s so pretty
So pretty, strangely attracted,
It’s cute nonetheless. Strange.
They go crazy and attack me, but I don’t hate that.
I think I know why women are attracted to bad boys. I think I know why I’m attracted to guys like you.
To be honest,
You know me,
I think I liked the guy who always reads books in the library.
The one who was close with your girlfriend.
Even if he didn’t like it, he must have cared about it.
But, that’s what happened when you two were talking.
They say they like masculine kids.
So you and your girlfriend are said to be a match made in heaven.
You always sang, saying that you like true girls,
Because your girlfriend also liked a manly girl.
But, I mean
Could I have had true love?
Everyone talked like they liked me,
I laughed and said
Did I actually know?
I was just a toy
Because he’s a cute boy, because he’s so special,
Everyone plays, calls,
It stuttered
I mean at karaoke.
A karaoke room that I often went to.
I went to the bathroom for a while,
Everyone was talking while choosing a song.
But he talked about me.
So I’m listening for a while.
Everyone laughed.
Laughed and talked about me
I played with it moderately,
He said he wants to touch his cock.
But, it seems to be small as it looks,
I don’t think the feeling will come.
They said they just wanted to see my crying face.
We laughed at each other saying pervert, but only I cried.
I think I know now what Helen said.
I mean, the soul is broken.
I don’t know how many bad endings I’ve had so far.
I can’t even remember your face
In fact, I don’t think I can remember the faces of my mom and dad either.
What name did you use in the original world?
Am I getting wrecked?
In the meantime, I thought I couldn’t afford to think about it because I was so distracted,
Even if I try to think of it now, seeing that it looks blurry,
I feel like I’m really forgetting.
“It’s a shame… Nu, sister…”
But, it’s really strange
I think I’d rather be happier now.
I mean, this guy did a lot of bad things.
He was dragged away and eaten like an animal.
Even my life that I’ve lived so far has been trampled on,
It destroys all my thoughts, values, and hopes,
From then on, I made them suffer from all sorts of dog-like things.
“Sister, sister…”
“Open your mouth. Quick, mouth…”
But this person really wants me.
You’re clinging to a stupid, stupid, stupid bastard like me.
“이 개새끼… 어떻게 이렇게 꼴릴 수가 있냐고, 제발 적당히 꼴리란 말이야. 제발…!”
Celebrity?
Idol?
What, a martial artist?
Special forces?
I don’t think even if you put all those people together, I won’t be able to reach this noona’s toes.
You are a genius.
He’s a human who shouldn’t exist, destroying everything I’ve ever known.
The rank is different.
With me, with you,
The class is so different that it makes all the troubles I’ve had so far trivialize. It’s absurd to say.
Laid down like this,
Smells like sweet coffee with every breath,
Even though he rushes in so wildly and crushes me and bounces my silence followed,
I feel so good.
Sex doesn’t feel good.
I like that this person wants me.
As if you couldn’t live without me, you rushed into me and hugged me tight.
Even so, anxious and desperately trying to make me feel,
I like it when you keep whispering in my ear while calling my name.
“Delrin, I’m going to do this every night from now on. Nin’s mine. I can stand flirting with other bitches. Yes, I can stand it. But, in the end, Nin’s mine. All you have to do is stay by my side at the end.”
It’s good to greedily smear your own saliva on a body that has become sensitive from being touched all day.
It’s good to tighten it like a command,
It’s nice to forcefully drag my hand to his chest and make him touch it,
It’s also good to cover your head with a blanket and give them a warm kiss.
“So save. Do what you’re told. There’s no way the other bitches will notice. If we save again tomorrow anyway, no one will know we used save and load.”
Still, I want to take the lead with this save.
“So, I’m thinking of experimenting. If you keep repeating save and load while those bastards are asleep, when will they wake up again. And the bond of souls, too. Experiment.”
I think I’ve already been thinking about how to use my abilities.
Rico noona is smart.
Different from me
“Because you’re not going to tell me twice? Save now.”
Even if you say it coercively,
Because you crush me with your soft body,
You can’t resist
“Instead of that, promise me…”
“What promise?”
All I can do is
With the little hand I always hated,
Grabbing Rico’s sister’s hand tightly.
“Other sisters, don’t bully me…Don’t ever tell me about this…”
I just want a promise from a thief who lives in lies and deceit.
“…”
Looking down at me,
Even if you bite her lips like you’re irritated,
To my older sister Rico who swallows her drool like she’s excited.
“Ha, fuck… Ok. You can promise me. I promise you.”
There is no certainty that the promise can be guaranteed,
Instead of her seal, Riko only left her mark with her long, thick kiss on my lips,
Still, I avoided the bad ending.
But, if I keep going like this, I think there will be another bad ending soon.
Because, in this world,
There are so many girls like Rico noona…
I think we’ve come too far already.
Really.
Everyone together…
You want me crazy
They’re all terrifyingly great people.
It’s ridiculous and it’s scary.
Me,
How long can we continue to walk this precarious tightrope among such people?
“Save…”
[Save point setting complete!]
