Chapter 163 – Chapter 8 – Seo Eun-Ha (4)
Of course, if I didn’t really resist, it could have been fatal, so I didn’t do that.
It was intended to look that way on the outside.
In reality, it was blocked from the inside so that the wound would not grow beyond a certain point.
However, it must have been a really serious condition for Eunha to feel.
“Eh? Ah, ah…”
I deliberately did not treat my body and looked at the galaxy with a painful expression.
The trembling Eunha’s hand trembled pitifully, and the galaxy, which shook her head and took a backward step, fell to the floor.
The fact that he stabbed me directly with his own hand must have been quite a shock.
“No, no, no no…!”
Screams like outbursts pour from Eunha’s mouth.
I filmed and suppressed her urge to hug her right away.
Even if it was painful for Eunha now, she needed time and events to reflect on this situation for herself.
She ran backwards, crawling across the floor, until she was blocked by a wall blocking her back.
Then, as if she was trying to run away from the current situation, she ran into the next area of the dungeon.
It seems like your mentality is really broken.
“Huh, with nothing special…”
When I used the recovery ability that ‘mirrored’ the characteristics of the galaxy, the wound I had just been stabbed disappeared cleanly as if it never existed.
In fact, since Eunha knew it would be like this, she would have run away without treatment.
Rather than being surprised that I was dangerous, my mentality would have been shattered by the fact that I hurt myself.
“It’s only natural in this dungeon…”
Because she made me recognize me as part of herself.
Of course, due to the nature of the dungeon that makes you have strange feelings about yourself, it can be annoying enough to make you want to stab it.
It’s only natural that he reacted like this because he’s been teasing me and pissing me off since earlier.
Of course, Eun-ha is a guy who doesn’t usually react like this naturally, so she is rather grateful for such a reaction.
As I moved along the galaxy to the next room, I began to notice a bunch of pretty weak-looking junk mobs.
I just let you defeat the middle boss, which was quite difficult.
Why did the next monster suddenly register as such a weakling?
“Oh, there it is.”
And the galaxy was collapsed in the center where the miscellaneous mobs were gathered.
Perhaps he remembered that I had told him not to die, and whenever his body was in danger, he continued to receive treatment.
It was a new concept of self-injury, accumulating pain while being beaten by the surrounding mobs without any counterattack.
Even if you didn’t use recovery if it wasn’t really dangerous, her body was smashed to tatters.
He only swung a knife at me once, and he shocked me with that and made a fuss.
Seeing her continue her life for me even though she suffered so much, I felt like a nail was being driven into my heart.
How can a person do that
“It’s Eunha.”
“…”
An almost half-dead pupil enters the eye.
Even though I called it, it threw itself at the monster while mechanically healing itself.
I poured my wings on the monsters gathered here, wiped them out, and raised the galaxy.
Then, her shoulders trembled as if she would break at any moment.
She seems to have come to her senses a little after seeing me, but she still continued to lash out at herself, pouring out her curse words.
Momentarily, I almost burst out with disgust at my actions that drove this child to become like this.
In the end, Eunha thought there was nothing she could do to overcome this and erased the memories she had just regretted.
Anyway, it seems that the current galaxy will break down any moment.
In the first place, I have deliberately induced the situation so far, wanting the galaxy to reach this situation.
Only then can I bring her story to her in the first place.
‘Maybe I should consider using the characteristics of this dungeon like a textbook.’
First of all, Eunha strengthens my mind to consider myself as myself.
And I continued to fill my actions with mistakes that Eunha could use when degrading herself.
Then now she is furious at how I, a part of her being, keeps making mistakes and doesn’t even repent.
So in the end, Eunha stabbed me with a kind of self-inflicted feeling.
The reason Eunha doesn’t understand the attack she just did is because it was so shocking that she forgot to put me on the same line as herself.
In the end, she only shows feelings of disgust when she has a problem with herself, not someone else, but at the point when she stopped thinking of me as herself, the object of her anger began to be directed only at herself, so she couldn’t understand it. .
Anyway, it was a very meaningful situation just to have experienced that a lot of things have changed just by thinking like this.
“Eunha, you always hated me from earlier, right?”
“Oh, no. I will never hate you…”
“Because you think I’m a part of you, in the end, your self-hatred reached its peak and you hated me too.”
“…”
She didn’t have the confidence to refute this, but as she tried to say something, she closed her lips tightly and shook her head.
I made it that way because I wanted to feel and act that way in the first place.
Seeing them regret and apologize like that pricks my conscience.
I don’t regret it though.
“I think that’s possible. Because I don’t necessarily have only bright parts.”
“Ha, but…”
“You mean it’s not like that now?”
Nod
It was going exactly the way I wanted it to be.
This is how the base to convince Eunha is prepared.
“Eunha. You have low self-esteem, and you are tolerant of others and love them badly. It’s absolutely not because you’re not good enough.”
“No. I…”
“It’s just a preference.”
“…Uh?”
Let’s think about it.
Everything in this world is your taste, but what if you are the only one who deviate from that taste?
So what if you feel like everything shines beautifully but you don’t shine?
“Actually, I think you are shiny and beautiful. Don’t be mistaken. If you think I’m shining, please respect my opinion.”
“Yes…”
“That’s why you think I’m similar to you, so it’s out of taste. That’s why I was disgusted.”
Not necessarily me, but everything in this world can be such a target.
If something is out of your taste, the ugliness that is hidden by the light will be seen properly because it is your existing taste.
Now, if you are now, you can think that this world is no different from you.
If you really consider yourself to be something too dark and awful.
You can think of this world as something similarly terrible, only because it has anything to do with you.
In other words, to put it bluntly, the essence is all the same.
“Everyone isn’t that different. In the end, Eunha is just a person who shines enough in the eyes of others.”
“I, shine…?”
“It’s a matter of taste? It may not suit your taste, but it shines so beautifully for my taste.”
In my eyes, you are shining much brighter than me.
You burst into anger at the darkness within yourself, but you can’t see that darkness because your eyes are covered by the dazzling light.
To be honest, this is no different from what you are saying about everything except you shining.
Therefore, the light you have seen is also because it is your taste, but it is by no means fake.
However, it is also true that I was too blinded by taste to see their true nature.
Sometimes, I think it is necessary to judge the general value by imagining ‘when you yourself did the action’, excluding the taste.
On the contrary, look at other people of your taste who think you shine.
You will be able to infer that the actions you are doing now are generally shining.
If you expect the action to shine, you’re probably doing well enough.
No need to regret
“A common value?”
“Well, I’m just saying this because you’re giving yourself too harsh standards.”
“But…”
“Now, I’ll explain it to you. Listen carefully.”
Eunha feels like light because I like it, so she wants to keep me by her side and want to be with her.
Conversely, I too like Eunha because I like it, so I feel it as a light, so I want to keep you by my side and be with you.
But in the end, isn’t this a win-win for both sides to achieve what they want?
“And people naturally have a desire to find in others the beauty that they cannot find in themselves.”
“Ah?”
You can’t force yourself to do something you didn’t find in yourself in the first place.
So, people try to find that beauty in others, and they try to have that beauty they find.
That’s what love is
“Anyway, it’s a person to make up for what he lacks through the person he loves.”
“Love…”
But Eunha, what will happen if you stick out harsh standards only for yourself like you are now?
Rather, the original beauty is forgotten and ruined.
Then, of course, those who were together had no choice but to move away.
So even if it’s not your taste, the standard you put on yourself should be maintained at a general level.
The same is true for the standards we set on others.
Humans do not really have a one-to-one relationship, but live in a relationship with many things.
However, if you give too loose standards to them just because you like Eunha, others will feel that they have lost their light and are broken, and will cut off the relationship.
And that person will break all the precious relationships.
It is said that even for the person who shines in your feelings, they need a standard of standard.
“Yeah, I understand.”
“Actually, Eunha, you understand the latter to some extent, and you tried to act that way.”
“That…”
Of course, later on, he tried not to do even that, saying that he could become terrible if he buried himself.
Seo Eun-ha, who had a good mentality, tried to lead the troubled lights in a better direction.
However, what has not changed at all from that time until now is the strict standard for oneself.
“If you don’t break, you’re a person of sufficient value. You’re especially precious to me.”
“Ah…”
“Take care of you even for me. It will play a role in making my light shine.”
To be honest, even now I was in a pretty deep state of dislike for myself.
She would be much weaker than Eunha, but honestly, I could understand that it was too difficult for her to just listen to and do this.
It’s because what you originally understand with your head and what you actually feel is completely different.
“Or let’s think of it this way.”
In fact, there was one driving force that kept me from getting into trouble because of my self-loathing.
Of course, I tried other tricks as much as possible, but it was verified that they were effective enough.
I knelt down and kissed the back of Eunha’s hand.
“Actually, while running through this dungeon, I don’t believe in myself at all, and just like you, I only have bad feelings.”
“What does that mean?”
“But that’s it. Even so, it’s okay because you’re by my side. It’s because I came all the way here by relying on your light.”
If you can’t wish for something in yourself, believe in me who believes in you and follows me.
I will prove that your actions are not bad, you prove that my actions are not bad.
Then you will definitely be able to create a virtuous cycle of relationships where you prove yourself because you trust and love each other.
“That’s what I want our relationship to be, love in its proper form.”
“Ah…”
“I love you, Eunha.”
At that moment, a single teardrop that ran down her cheek shone like a jewel.
