Chapter 68 – Shabby -3-
To be honest, I didn’t really want to meet him. No, to be exact, I didn’t want to see Wonwoo with Hyeji.
It’s not because Hyeji is embarrassed.
Rather, it is the opposite.
Wonwoo is someone who knows what kind of novels I write. Of course, I know that Hye-ji drew the illustrations for my first novel after I was discharged from the military, and since Hye-ji is my girlfriend, I know that she is copying the illustrations like crazy.
So I hated it.
It’s nothing else that’s shameful.
It’s just me.
“Brother… ?”
“Huh?”
Hyeji speaks with a worried face. He must have looked quite serious.
“If it’s uncomfortable for the three of you to meet with me, it’s okay with me…”
“No, no! Why am I uncomfortable? It’s so good. If she boasted about her pretty girlfriend like this, what would she do if that bastard looked like a loser? She was truly worried. “He’s a very close friend.”
I tried to put on a bright expression and poured some ramen ingredients and soup into Hyeji’s empty bowl.
“Come on, let’s eat quickly. “I will burn all the ramen.”
I concentrated on eating again and avoided the conversation.
What does Hyeji think? Does she know about those stories?
I guess there should be a way for me to bring it up first and tell them that I’m worried about this or that.
… No. That is not the way.
Even if I die, I can’t do that.
I have pride.
At the very least, it might have been better to talk about it if it had been a situation where I was being compared to someone other than Hyeji. Hyeji will also be able to easily sympathize with my story.
However, if I were to bring this up, I would inevitably have to reveal my pettiness in front of Hyeji. Instead of being able to sincerely congratulate Hyeji on her success, she has to admit that Hyeji has grown much older than me.
And above all.
He said he felt an unbearable sense of inferiority when he was told, “It’s a waste.”
I had no choice but to confess.
The thought did not leave my mind while eating ramen and even while walking side by side with Hyeji to the subway station.
“Brother! Take care!”
“Huh. “I’ll reach out to you.”
“I love you!”
Even while watching Hyeji showing off her cuteness in front of the station.
“… Ugh.”
I was contemplating whether to bring this up to Hyeji or not.
In the end, I had no choice but to smile bitterly.
###
And then Sunday came back.
I met Wonwoo at exit 2 of Konkuk University entrance.
“Hey, it’s been a while?”
Wonwoo came first, wearing a hoodie and jeans. I’m thankful that he deliberately dressed casually just because he was meeting his best friend’s girlfriend.
“Do you want to smoke a cigarette?”
“No, that’s enough.”
“Did you hang up?”
“That’s not true. “Because I don’t like smoking.”
“Oh~ Lee Se-kwang, you’re so fucking cool?”
When Wonwoo lightly taps his shoulder, his expression darkens for some reason.
“Hey, what happened? Did you fight?”
When Wonwoo asked me, carefully observing my mood, I shook my head lightly and went up the stairs.
But when I thought about it, Wonwoo was a person who could give objective advice not only to Hyeji, but also to me. The biggest reason why meeting up with the three of us is burdensome is because my self-esteem has shrunk so much.
“Hey. Wonwoo.”
“Huh?”
“No, ha… Fuck.”
“What. Why are you doing this, bastard? Uh? Are you having a hard time right now?”
“It’s not like I’m holding you back. “I’m just worried.”
I thought it would be okay to talk to Wonwoo.
First, I heard the sound of the basement coming in, so I decided to take the subway first. I quickly ran up the stairs, passed through the turnstile, and was about to climb the stairs when the train entered, when the screen door opened. I barely managed to get on the subway, squeezing my body through the crowd of people trying to go down the stairs.
After taking a breather on the subway heading to Seongsu Station, we resumed the conversation we were talking about earlier.
“You know Hyeji. “You know it’s Ella, right?”
“Of course. Hey, by the way, what did you say the name of that illustration in your work was?”
“Hyeji. Shin Hye-ji.”
“Ah, yes. “Is Hyeji the real main character of your novel?”
“Oh well… Yes. It’s like a motif.”
“It’s not a true story?”
“True story…”
It’s a true story.
However, if it were true that she enjoyed walking naked in the campsite management office under the constellation of Orion and playing back and forth, what would this bastard look like?
So I decided to deny it for now.
“It’s not a true story.”
“Right? Yeah, there’s no way he could actually do something like that. How can a person even use a dildo to fuck a woman back and forth? It’s possible because it’s a story, but if it were real… Ugh. “If that’s true, you’re a fucking pervert who can’t live a normal life.”
The pervert who couldn’t live a normal life kept his mouth shut, nodded vaguely and avoided eye contact.
Actually, strictly speaking, I didn’t ask her to do it, but it was something Hyeji had been wanting to do since the day we first met. So, I am working on building a body that is capable of doing so that Hyeji can actually achieve her own bucket list item,
As soon as I told her about that lewd plan, Hyeji immediately turned into a ‘f***ing pervert incapable of everyday life,’ so I had no choice but to become completely dumb.
“Whether it is true or not is not important. The problem is that the novel’s illustrations are so bad.”
“What do you mean?”
“No, people say it so much that it gets talked about a lot.”
“Isn’t it good if it’s mentioned a lot?”
“That’s good. It’s good, but the story is so awesome…”
Actually, this was the most important thing.
“Illere is my girlfriend, but people keep telling me that Illere is a waste, so that really bothers me.”
Wonwoo said, “Hmm.” And then I fold my arms.
“It might hurt your pride a little.”
Wonwoo quietly nodded and asked me with a very serious expression.
“But have you talked about this with Hyeji?”
“No way. How to. It’s embarrassing.”
“What are you embarrassed about? “We can talk.”
“That’s also true, but what should I do if people notice that I’m drawing pictures for no reason?”
In fact, that was also a concern. Of course, the biggest cause of heartache is the feeling of inferiority.
I even hated it when Hyeji hesitated to draw because of that.
Hyeji is nice. Because she loves me so much that she would do anything for me.
If things go wrong, Hyeji might feel sorry for me every time she looks at her picture.
Becoming a top tier Illerae is Hyeji’s long-time dream. I can’t hold Hyeji back because of my small pride.
But Wonwoo thought for a moment and tilted his head.
“But how can you date someone if you don’t have that much trust? I don’t know because I’ve never been in a relationship… Still, aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend the ones we need to rely on and look for each other the most when something happens?”
That’s true, but I actually thought that too…
When you really find yourself in this situation, it’s a bit difficult to make a decision.
“You just need to speak well. I’m not sad because of you, it’s because I’m like this, you can just tell me. “Then of course I won’t comfort you?”
Wonwoo had a point.
Yeah, maybe I was being too cautious about Hyeji.
No matter what happens, I have to talk about it.
Because Hye-ji and I don’t think of each other as mere romantic partners.
It may have been something I had to go through someday.
“Wonwoo. Thank you.”
Perhaps it was because she was able to tell her story rather than suffer alone, she felt like her mind had cleared up a little. Wonwoo laughed as if he was dumbfounded and tapped my shoulder.
“If you’re thankful, buy me a drink, you bastard.” We contact each other often.”
I really need to buy this.
