Chapter 3 – Orcs Really Hate Armies
Fucking bastards, how can all of them be of different races and get along so well when playing with others? No matter how I looked around, there was only one Orc in the unit. To be precise, there were no more than two of the same species in the unit. For example, just as there was one orc, there was one elephant, one changuripon, and so on, one for each tribe in the unit.
At first, everything else will be the same, right? However, I was devastated when I saw the goblin legion of the side unit, which was only gathered by goblins, marching forward in line.
Since it is a unit that has been carefully selected and assembled only with lunatics from all over the world, I tried to judge each member one by one.
If you put it nicely, it’s a foreign club, but if you put it badly, it’s a fantasy version of green camp.
If you look at the things you do, why is this bastard not looking back and living so far? There are a lot of guys who are spectacle enough to want to do it. Even so, it would be difficult to handle two personalities mounted like a dual core because they have two heads, but there again, each left and right head has a double personality, and what are the actions of a crazy twin-headed ogre with four personalities in one body? Wanna see?
“I am very, very thirsty, hungry!”
If you listen to that, ah, these bastards have many personalities, but do they share hunger and thirst? Do you think That bastard did that, and a minute later he was drinking rice and water at the same time and was shitting his pants? Four different personalities have one body and drop such a pestilence, so why didn’t they find out?
Later, when I quietly asked him, he said that he has four personalities, so he usually lives as he wants, but when he risks his life to fight the enemy, he doesn’t want to be left behind, so he cooperates with each other at that time. Well, the ogre itself says it’s going to be crazy, but the four of them are racking their brains, so what can we do?
Your IQ is 40, my IQ is 40, the two together make 80! You have to plan the perfect strategy with an IQ equal to that of a dolphin! What would this be
Other than that, the baby that was a bit unusual was a male minotaur with milk coming out of the nipple. I will never forget this baby until I die. Later, I saw him fighting on the battlefield, and milk spurted out of his nipples, blinding his enemies with it and knocking out his head.
Roughly, it’s a unit made up of a bunch of crazy idiots like this. But at this point, I had a question. No, then what about me? Unlike these assholes, I don’t just have multiple personalities or have milk coming out of my nipples. Why did I come to this unit? I was so curious that I went to the balrog who had hair growing only around the horns, the leader of this unit.
‘… It’s just that the colorful things caught my eye, you bastard’
Because of the complementary color effect caused by the red bear skin and green skin on the body, the moment I saw it, I had an intuition that I was a madman or something.
I was a little excited and said gibberish, but anyway,
From the first day I moved in, I was beaten behind, and from the next day I started fighting for survival again. Since this was the first day, I didn’t kill it because it was a declaration ceremony. This unit, this outlaw group, which is embarrassing to even call it a unit, is made up of races that you may not see in your life without encountering ecologically well, so collusion, cooperation, and comradeship are goblins. It was only the extreme egoists who gave it to me.
That’s me too
In the first place, weaklings are bastards who have lived worshiping only the weak-willed one who loses both balls for their lives, but how is that possible when they are told to stick together with other races? It would not be strange if a fantasy match between the Cretaceous king Tyrannosaurus and the Jurassic king Allosaurus took place today.
Well, if we talk about dinosaurs, we might not be able to eat Seonjiguk because it looks like there will be bloodshed, so shall we use a fairy tale as an example? You know the cute and cute Three Little Pigs? That fairy tale where the wolf blew the wind and the whole house flew away? Anyway, they appear there and live with wolves in the same space!
Honestly can a wolf stand up? When I open my eyes right away, three cheeseburgers are placed side by side on the bed next to me, and I say to myself, ‘Hello? Did you sleep well?’ To say hello! If you look at it with the eyes of the strongest guy in this unit, it’s crazy that the business trip buffets that keep walking around are flickering in the eyes.
Me? I don’t really have this kind of appetite when I see other guys, but they’re talking guys, so it’s a little bit to watch them while eating them… In the first place, it seems that the Orcs themselves have a habit of not seeing these intelligent bodies as food.
Anyway, the reason why this place is less shit is that the commander of the unit, the balrog of Taltalgall, is holding the entire unit so tightly, so even if the balrog is afraid of it, what is the result of them restraining themselves? It was a pitiful evaluation that it was a ‘abandoned unit that fights damn well, but fights and kills each other before it even fights the enemy, and only receives new recruits every day’.
What if a slender (?) Orc fell into such a unit? It was very shitty. Except for the fact that the population of the Orcran race is huge, compared to other races in terms of combat power and size, they are insignificant. While playing with goblins, they play with kicks instead of soccer balls, but it’s unlikely, but if you encounter an ogre or a troll, you have to behave well.
The average height of an orc is 2m~2m50cm, whereas an ogre is 4m by default, so if I make a mistake, I could become a soccer ball. If you fight, the orc is not an opponent you can’t win, but even if you fight, there’s nothing to gain, and the probability of losing is much higher than that, so if you meet an ogre or something, you have to take care of it and run away.
However, since the orc suddenly fell down, I was the main dish itself for the kids who wanted to be a bit big. I had to personally prove the question of why the shrimp lost its back in the whale fight as I ran through the gaps of idiots who started fighting with each other to fuck me (not in a sexual sense, but physically).
If I’m not careful, I’m going to leave the world as it is. This is it.
One day, a rather obscure goblin came in as a new recruit, and the next day, when I went to the place where the goblin was, one of his toes remained. It was a place where it was difficult for those who were so modest to survive. Life is said to be in the middle, not too far ahead and not too far behind, but here it is in the middle and there is nothing. The harsh reality of pressing down from above and trying to immerse yourself from below if you’re not careful.
Anyway, so how did I survive among these crazy bastards? No big deal. First of all, I trained my body through actual combat experience, starting with the weaker cubs first, and the cubs who looked stronger than me slowly looked at the liver, and then sacrificed the cubs I had beaten before, and ate them while they were drooling.
Even though I’m an orc now, I’ve always been a human. That’s it!
After trampling on them one by one, all that was left was a twin-headed ogre with four personalities. This guy was a really tough opponent.
Although this bastard is stupid, he has an innate physicality, so if he gets hit wrong with his swinging fist, he will immediately become a hamburger patty. It is absolutely impossible to deal with silver power.
But isn’t it said that the pen is mightier than the sword and the most fearsome enemy is the enemy within? I used my cunning tongue to separate personalities from each other, and the idiots punched each other in the face, and when I roughly hit them, they passed out.
And I climbed on top of him and started crawling under me, pretending to be stupid as if I couldn’t give goblins because I acted like I knocked out all the shit.
Anyway, I said that I was crushed, but it is virtually impossible for me to kill those big guys because of the basic racial value (?), So mentally, like a wild animal succumbing to a stronger one, I finished it one by one and expanded my influence on the unit, and before I knew it, I He had become the second-in-command of the unit.
In the first place, the 1st person in the unit, Thalgal Balrog, was also in this unit for a while before being assigned to another unit, so she liked me for taking care of what she had to do, so she beat me roughly and took care of it, entrusting half of everything to me with unit-related matters. Did
In terms of the military, he went from a private soldier to a battalion commander (Jin).
In fact, the battalion commander was hanging out in the countryside.
Would you believe this if it happened just three years after you enlisted?
That’s how the Balrog will push me. The biggest and strongest twin-headed ogre in the unit was following me, so there was no one who could physically or powerfully oppose me.
Hey, then, now that you’re sitting in a high position, and you’ve made it through the world, you must be living your life properly this time, right? Aren’t there black cows to ask? Gradually, I’m done figuring out the pattern of what I’m going to say.
Yes.
War broke out
It was also a great war unprecedented in the history of the continent.
