Chapter 149 – The Melancholy of Young Chung-Ha
There are so many taboos in this world.
Don’t do this, don’t do that. Maybe there is so much meddling in people’s affairs, I don’t know.
I still understand why some taboos exist, but I can’t understand why some taboos exist.
If you ask why that doesn’t work, they will give you an answer that you can’t understand at all, or even avoid the answer saying, “It’s just been that way since the old days.”
Chung-ha is also a decent high school student, and she knows that it is not wise to zealously rebel against a social taboo.
However, despite knowing that, there are definitely taboos that can only be resisted, albeit passively. I believe so.
“I think it is too much to forbid love, let alone other taboos.”
Taboo love.
Often used as a material for movies and dramas, it had enough firepower to set fire to the hearts of high school girls.
Love burns even more when there are obstacles. There are people who believe that and want that kind of love to come to them too. Or there is a woman who enjoys both sadness and narcissism at the same time, deluding herself that she already has such a love.
But from the point of view of Chungha, who is really in love like that, having a taboo love is so painful that it is better not to do it.
A bench next to the second wing of the school after school, out of sight of other students. Chungha muttered her lover’s name as she looked down at the pictures on her phone.
“It’s the sea..”
At first glance, Chung-ha and her lover, Bada, in the photo, seemed to be nothing but close friends. The sight of the ocean’s lips touching Cheongha’s cheeks didn’t seem too strange considering it was a joke unique to high school girls. However, it is impossible to know how sincere the kiss on the cheek was, unless it was the person concerned.
Lee Chung-ha and Choi Bada from Haesung Girls’ High School are in a romantic relationship. As you can tell just by looking at the name of the school, both are girls.
The two are so-called lesbians.
After meeting for the first time in middle school, they became best friends, always acting together, and officially became a couple by confessing first at sea.
Of course, whether or not they became an official couple, there was nothing to inform the people around them. South Korea is a conservative country, and even if it is a country where the human rights of sexual minorities are guaranteed, it is difficult to openly brag about it because of the attention of those around you.
Therefore, the relationship between the two was absolutely secret. At first glance, the fact that it was a secret between the two of them seemed romantic, and there were times when my heart was pounding.
“I still love the sea, but…”
Can this love continue into the future? Until you become an adult and take responsibility for everything yourself?
She had no confidence in Chungha. She is confident that she can defend herself against the prejudices of those around her.
It is not uncommon for a high school girl to mistake her deep camaraderie for her love and mistake herself for a homosexual. If I part with the sea now, wouldn’t it be possible to understand and end it as a kind of youthful fever?
I thought about that, but just imagining parting with the sea made her tears flow and her mouth dried up, so she couldn’t open her mouth.
‘Why are you doing this because you fell in love with a woman? If she had loved a man from the start, she wouldn’t have worried like this.’
No, why is the world so interested in individuals in the first place? It would be nice if we didn’t set taboos on these personal things and let them be free. Why doesn’t the world allow people to be happy?
When I was about to shed tears at the sudden sudden surge of sadness, I heard a lovely voice that I had always heard.
“Why are you lowering your head like that, Chungha? Are you crying again?”
I raise my head at the sound of my lover’s voice. A tall, dignified beauty with her bangs slightly longer was standing in front of Chungha.
When Cheong-ha was struggling even a little, she was the very lovely face who always came to her and protected her.
Bada sat down next to Cheongha, pressed her buttocks together, and silently stroked her lover’s head. She felt that her tear glands, which she tried to hold back at that gentle touch, were stimulated even more.
Bada, who had been stroking Cheongha’s hair without saying anything for a while, asked in a low voice.
“Is it because of our relationship?”
Also the sea. Even if Chungha’s lover didn’t say anything about her own love, she could guess her true intentions. Are there two people in the world who have this ability?
Chungha shook her head. It’s very different from a normal gesture, but the sea immediately recognized that it contained an affirmation.
“Who said what? Even if you didn’t notice our relationship, have you heard the bad talk about homosexuals or something?”
“It’s not like that.”
Obviously, I have never heard of such a request. But she knows If she continues her relationship with the sea, she will surely hear that someday. And as if that word was the starting point, the barrage of rejection would fly.
Bada had already guessed that fact, so she didn’t comfort Cheongha by calling her. This is Cheongha’s business, but at the same time, it’s also the sea’s business.
“Are we… Are we okay? I don’t know if you’re still a student, but the older you get, the more likely your relationship will be exposed. At that time,”
Can I still love you
Chungha couldn’t bear to say the next word. Because she seemed to be a great hurt to herself as well as to the sea.
The sea sat still for a while without speaking.
The sea is a thoughtful friend. Beyond the reach. When it was difficult to choose something, Chungha always relied on the sea.
There is no way that such a sea did not think of what Cheongha thought. Rather, I must have been thinking more deeply.
Even the sea is struggling like this right now.
Cheongha wondered if the sea was doing this because she was disillusioned with her. Because of that doubt, Chungha seemed to start crying again.
She is a sensitive 19-year-old anyway. The age at which you have to fight your own delusions before fighting others.
“About that… I’ve actually thought a lot about it.”
Those words came out of the mouth of the sea that was silently thinking.
Cheongha’s head, which was running towards negative thoughts, created an illusion that the sea was breaking up with her without any basis. As a counteraction to such fantasies, she desperately tried to come up with other positive thoughts in her head. She didn’t do very well. As you know, negative thoughts are kind of like cockroaches that don’t get rid of easily once they appear, so it’s not easy to get rid of unless you’re diligent.
Another silence. To Chungha, this moment felt like a sister-in-law awaiting a death sentence.
After a painful silence, the sea opened its mouth.
“Maybe it would be better for us to come out proudly.”
“To…”
Chungha’s head needed some time to process the words that were completely different from what she expected. And when you understand the meaning of the words correctly,
“No, that is nonsense. If you do, you will be beaten and persecuted right away. I can’t stand that.”
Bada said with a very serious face to Cheongha who shook her head in fright. With the face that always guided Chungha.
“But you can’t hide it forever. I want to love more confidently. Confidently, without hiding anything from anyone. Do you not want to do that?”
Who would say no if you ask me that? Cheongha thought the sea was a little cowardly. She said with a teary face.
“Of course I want to do that too. But the reality is not like that.”
She thought that the asking sea was just making hopeless noises to comfort herself. But she was always sincere about the sea. It was a decision she had wrung out over and over again for a long time.
“No. Reality changes. Don’t think that reality will always be the same. Because even people like us have a way to confidently find happiness.”
Seeing the serious face of the sea, Chung-ha unconsciously nodded her head. If the sea were to speak so earnestly, she would not be lying. Annie always, she always gave me that certainty.
“Okay, I will trust the sea. Because I’ve always believed in the sea. Of course it will be this time too.”
Upon hearing her lover’s reply, the sea smiled as if she were genuinely relieved.
“Okay. Thank you, chungha I thought you would believe me Then let’s apply together.”
Its name is dignified,
“A fucking partnership.”
