City ​​of Witches 124

Chapter 124 – #27_Crossed Paths(4)

#122

1.
Leaving the cabin, exiting the grove of cork trees, and heading east along the field path.
Walking along that path for about 30 minutes, a low hill appears.
The hill, where one can sit without losing breath, is densely covered with a thicket of vibrant green wild barley that has survived the late winter.
The barley, untamed by human hands and sprawling in its natural state, boasted lively jade-colored leaves, swaying its head this way and that in the wind.

Leaning against an unnamed tree in the middle of the hill, Amelia and Siwoo each unfolded their easels.
They began to paint, securing wooden boards behind the easels to prevent the paper from being blown away by the breeze.
Amelia quietly drew lines, capturing the scenery before her on the canvas.
There were many places near the cabin that could serve as subjects for landscape paintings, but Amelia’s favorite place was this barley hill.

However, despite it being a picnic with Siwoo that she was so looking forward to, Amelia kept fidgeting, putting down and picking up her pencil.
It was because Siwoo, who was unusually quiet today, was just staring blankly at his drawing paper.

“Siwoo.”
“………”
“Siwoo.”
“…Yes, Amelia-nim.”

Even when Amelia called him, he didn’t make eye contact with her.
The tip of the pencil he was listlessly shaking was just making meaningless lines on the white paper.
Amelia wasn’t a fool either.
She was well aware of his condition and the current situation.

“Are you hungry? I guess you didn’t eat breakfast.”
“I’m fine.”

But the moment she put it into words.
The moment she spoke to him, she was forcibly pretending not to notice the anxiety that her sweet dream would shatter into pieces without any room for hope.

“I put a lot of your favorite salmon in today.”
“I’m really fine. I don’t have an appetite.”

Amelia bit her lower lip tightly.
The symphony of anxiety and unease led to a heart rate that was uncomfortably fast.
She spoke again in a voice as normal as possible, the same way she had spoken to Siwoo while living together in the cabin.

“Siwoo, I told you before. When you hold a pencil, use your fingertips… Ah!”

Amelia’s arm, which had reached out to hold Siwoo’s hand and correct his grip on the pencil, was violently flung away.
Amelia, thrown back by Siwoo’s fierce resistance, stood there blankly.
She couldn’t process what had just happened.

“I’m sorry, did, did I make you angry by suddenly grabbing your hand? Is it because of what happened yesterday…?”

Siwoo’s hand, which was holding the pencil, trembled slightly without looking at Amelia.
She started to make small talk again as if nothing had happened.

“It’s understandable that Siwoo would be upset. I also think I was too careless… I’m reflecting on it. I’m sorry… so please, don’t be angry…”
“………”
“Or is there really something wrong with you? Should we go back and rest together?”

As if this would make everything disappear.
As if the day of ruin she had so desperately wanted to postpone would not return.
She closed her eyes tightly and pretended not to notice.

Siwoo’s eyes turned to Amelia for the first time.
Amelia thought his gaze was like looking at supercooled water.
She imagined that it was calmly shimmering now, but the moment a slight shock was applied, it would freeze like a snowflake.

Amelia bit her lip, held back her tears, and continued to speak.
She faced him with a sorrowful smile.

“Today… when we get home, let’s have tea together. Milk tea and scones, wouldn’t that be nice? I bought butter from Tarot Town the other day.”

A vain hope that would vanish like a bubble.

“After that, let’s read books until dinner… Let’s do the magic studies that Siwoo likes together. After we have dinner, how about looking at the stars together? Lying on the roof… Siwoo liked that, didn’t he?”

She spoke of a happy today that would probably never come.

“Let’s sleep together for the first time in a while. Now that Siwoo has grown so much, the bed might be a little small, but I’ll move to the side. And then, and then…”

What should she do next?
What would come next?

Drip, drip.
Even as tears began to flow, messing up Amelia’s eyes, there was no change in Siwoo’s expression.

“I know… I already know…”

The Siwoo who would rush to her with concern if Amelia showed even the slightest sign of distress was gone.
The Siwoo who would comfort her tenderly when she cried was also gone.

“You’ve… returned… completely.”
“Yes, Associate Professor Amelia Marigold.”

The terribly selfish dream of spring had also ended.

2.
Amelia slumped down in her seat.
Siwoo looked down at her.

His heart felt like it was being torn apart.
The fact that Amelia, who was more precious than anyone else, was crying because of his cold actions was suffocating.
He wanted to lower himself and hug her and comfort her right away.
He wanted to hold her small body in his arms, stroke her hair, and whisper that it was okay, that it was okay.

Because Amelia had done that for him.
Amelia had indulged the young Siwoo, shown him beautiful and simple happiness, always made Siwoo smile, and made his heart flutter.

That’s why.
He couldn’t forgive her even more.

In the jumbled memories, Amelia was,
Smiling.
And sneering.
In the muddy, mixed-up emotions, Siwoo was.
Loving.
And hating.

“Why did you do that?”
“Ugh… ugh… sob…”

Amelia tried to say something, but her attempts were repeatedly buried and swept away by tears and sobs.
Siwoo habitually reached for a cigarette.
But there were no cigarettes.
Siwoo nervously brushed off his collar.
He confessed in a voice that was forcibly raised to sound relieved.

“It’s as you said, Associate Professor. My memories have all returned. When I woke up this morning, I remembered everything, everything.”

Siwoo grabbed Amelia’s arm.
Amelia, like a doll with a broken string, was helplessly pulled up by his hand and staggered to her feet.

“I was wondering what to do. Do you know how it feels when the person you loved and respected the most in the world suddenly becomes the person you really hate and despise?”

If only.
If only he hadn’t lost his memories.
If only.
If only Amelia hadn’t been so kind to him.
If only.
If only she had remained the hateful Amelia.
If only.
If only he hadn’t come to like her.
At least he wouldn’t have felt such a fierce sense of betrayal.

If he hadn’t felt the heart-melting pain when he saw her face, which was contorted in agony as he urged her on.
He would have hated her a little less.

“I was wondering. Could I just let it go? Could I just forget everything that happened before? Or this awful feeling, this nauseating confusion, this betrayal… how could I really pay it back? Could I repay the feelings I felt a hundredfold, a thousandfold? I wondered and wondered.”

He couldn’t understand Amelia’s intentions.
Why she had suddenly been so kind to Siwoo, who had lost his memories and become a child.
He couldn’t figure out what purpose she had in doing this.
He wanted to pay her back.

This chilling betrayal,
This sense of loss, where the person he trusted more than anyone else had turned into the person he hated most in this city overnight.
He wanted her to share the feeling of being thrown into the void.

“But I don’t think I can do that. I can’t go that far.”

But he couldn’t.
He couldn’t bring himself to do it.
The veins in Siwoo’s right eye, which had been filled with a cold blue light, stood out.
He grabbed Amelia, who was barely standing, and said.

“So, convince me. Why, why, why was I the one who had to go through that awful thing? Why did you pretend to be nice to me so late, mess with my feelings like that, and make me so confused? Tell me the reason.”
“Siwoo…”
“Let go of me!”

Amelia’s outstretched hand, reaching out pitifully, was flung away from Siwoo’s arm.
Amelia froze, not from the pain, but from the fear that it was Siwoo, not anyone else, who was pouring out such fierce eyes, deep resentment, and disgust.

“Do you still think I don’t remember anything?”
“Siwoo, Siwoo… I’ll, I’ll explain everything… please don’t be angry…”

Why did Amelia’s terrified, trembling appearance look so hypocritical?
The old her wasn’t like this.
She always looked at Siwoo with a cold face, a stern gaze, and ruthlessly pushed harsh tasks onto him without a shred of mercy.

Everything felt like a pretense.
No matter what the truth was, even if she had changed because of the experience of almost losing a useful assistant.
Siwoo couldn’t understand.
The two images simply wouldn’t merge in his mind.

A slave shouldn’t try to rise up against a witch.
To talk down to Amelia, a 22nd-level mage, and start an emotional fight was like walking on a knife’s edge.
But Siwoo didn’t care.
Compared to the anger and betrayal he was feeling now, the weight of his life was less than a single feather.

Amelia staggered over and hugged Siwoo.
She forced her way into his tightly closed arms, without any response, and forcibly embraced his torso.

“I’m sorry… Siwoo, it’s my fault… I’m sorry for tormenting you, for taking out my anger on you, for giving you extra work… for making you live in the barn for five years… it’s all my fault… I’ll do anything to be forgiven… please, please…”

Amelia’s apology, mixed with sobs, was almost unintelligible.
Yet, it pierced his ears like a needle.

But Siwoo’s heart didn’t calm down at all.
Rather, it only served as a time to reaffirm that her torment in his memories was a childish act.
He only felt the deep realization that it had really been like that.

“Tell me why you did it. Just tell me why you tormented me. That’s what I want to hear.”

Amelia looked at Siwoo.
Siwoo looked at Amelia.

“Because I love… you, Siwoo.”

Amelia poured out the words she had wanted to say all along.
The words she had never been able to convey to him.

“Only after almost losing Siwoo… could I acknowledge my feelings… I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Siwoo felt like he was losing all his strength.
It wasn’t because the reason was less significant than he thought.
It was because of such a reason, because of such a shallow circumstance.

Even the way she had carefully cared for the young Siwoo was now covered with the thought that it was just her own greed.
In the end, it was all selfishness from beginning to end.
Amelia was selfish from beginning to end.

“If you hate me that much… I’ll live in the barn from now on too… You can use me like a servant until Siwoo feels better… You can torment me… so please, please forgive me…”
“Amelia-nim.”

Amelia, with a glimmer of hope, cautiously looked up at him at Siwoo’s slightly gentler voice.
And the moment she made eye contact with him, she realized how vain that hope was.

“You asked if I could forgive you… even if I regained my memories, right?”

It was cowardly.
If she had thought for even a minute, no, even a second, about what kind of feelings Siwoo would have for her after regaining his memories, what kind of despair he would fall into.
She shouldn’t have said those words.
Never.
That was something he could not forgive.

“Let’s stop now, I’ll forgive you.”

Amelia read it in his eyes.
Deep resignation and disillusionment.

“Please, don’t, please don’t do that.”

She felt all the strings that had connected him and Amelia being cut one by one.

“What? I forgave you. It’s what Amelia-nim wanted, right?”

Amelia stumbled backward and finally slumped to the floor.

“I also destroyed the slave contract, so I guess I’m not Amelia-nim’s exclusive slave anymore. But since you’re a Baroness, I’ll treat you with the utmost respect.”

Siwoo’s last sharp words cut off all the remaining strings.

“The Siwoo that Amelia-nim loved is dead. No, he never even existed in the first place.”

Amelia waited for his final verdict with eyes that had become blurry, as if she had lost the strength to even shed tears.

“The Siwoo who loved Amelia-nim is also dead. It’s the same thing.”

Siwoo, with a bitter smile, folded his drawing paper and packed up his easel.
Amelia couldn’t bring herself to grab Siwoo’s back as he walked away, step by step.

“Oh, right. I have to say this.”

Siwoo suddenly stopped.
Before Amelia could even harbor any hope, his last words fell.

“You are truly, terribly selfish.”