Chapter 44 – 09. Being in a Swamp (5)
I had a dream.
A nightmare of a grotesque voice whispering in your head.
[Accept you.]
Accept… What do you mean?
[Don’t you know that you were eaten?]
I don’t quite understand what you are talking about.
I’ve never been eaten… No.
[Aha, I was deliberately denying it. You already know yes?]
Please get out of my head
Don’t bother me and disappear.
[You can bury it for now, but remember that the time will eventually come when it will be revealed.]
The voice, which seemed to be speaking from several people at the same time, gradually faded away.
The next day, and the day after that, and the day after that…
I had the same nightmare.
* * *
At first, I thought it was just a dream.
Since this kind of nightmare is relatively common, I thought it might be because I was too immersed in dramas or movies.
However, a week, two weeks… The days passed gradually and after a month passed, I finally realized the identity of the voice.
It is so cruel, it flows naturally into my head no matter how hard I try not to understand it.
Seo Joo-ha found herself in a state where she could no longer be called a human being.
“I… Have been eaten.”
Since when was it?
It must have been the time when he was drunk and staggered down a deserted alleyway.
Why did it have to be me?
I thought I could be happy now.
“Lee Ji-hoo…”
At first, we met awkwardly, but as we talked and had honest conversations, I felt my heart pounding little by little.
A wide smile, a caring attitude.
Every action he made was lovely.
The back that carried me on my back when I couldn’t get up because I was drunk was so… Warm.
But why
What the hell… Why?
The moment he realized his identity, Xu Zhu-ha despaired.
* * *
It’s been three days since I didn’t come out of the house.
He no longer had the courage to face people.
It felt like something big had completely disappeared from his chest.
A space where all the lights are turned off and the curtains are drawn so that no light comes in, only darkness.
He muttered endlessly to himself in the pitch-black darkness of the west.
“Why do you… What should I do… Jihoo… You must hate me…? I’m afraid to go out… I miss you…”
I don’t feel hungry even though I haven’t eaten anything in 3 days.
Once again, she couldn’t help but feel keenly what she was.
* * *
Seo Joo-ha cautiously turned on her phone.
Only the screen of the mobile phone shines brightly in the darkness without a single ray of light.
When I opened the message list, there were three text messages as usual today.
[Juha, are you in a lot of pain? Shall I go to your house?]
[I’ll forget your face after a week haha; If you want to see it, contact me and I’ll run right away]
[Sleep well so you don’t get sick! They say you should sleep a lot to get well]
Her eyes go blurry.
A single tear ran down her cold cheek.
I want to contact Jihoo.
I want to call Jihoo and hear his voice.
Jihoo… I want to see you again.
But it shouldn’t be like that.
Because she is just a loser who gave in to her identity as a monster.
So maybe she would be better for him if they didn’t meet.
She had to think so.
* * *
After two weeks passed, someone from the school came to see me.
She didn’t want to meet her as much as possible, but she said that if there was no home visit from the professor, she might be expelled because she couldn’t extend her sick leave.
She was afraid to face people, so there was no logic in thinking to herself that she was worried about expulsion because she was stuck in a room.
However, if I am expelled… I will no longer be able to prove that I am on the side of humans.
If that happened, she would become a real monster, so she reluctantly allowed her visit.
When the time she promised came, she heard the door open by itself, even though she hadn’t done anything.
A woman’s voice with a playful tone came from the front door.
“Uh… It hurts to live in such a dark place. Can I pull the curtains?”
Her silver hair caught her attention, glistening in the sunlight that entered her dark house.
That hair color is completely your own.
“Looking at it, the reason for sick leave is a cold, but Miss Juha doesn’t look sick for that reason.”
“Then you can change it for another reason, so please leave.”
“Hmm… It’s too flashy. Shall I tell you a good fact? Juha looks good with silver hair.”
The woman’s voice turned serious.
“It’s real! It looks much more shiny and fuller than mine.”
“…What do you want to say?”
At the words of her husband, the woman seemed to think for a moment, but she immediately nodded her head and continued her words.
“It’s good to worry about yourself, but wouldn’t it be nice to value others who care about you?”
“…”
“Well, that’s enough. Then I’ll go~ Oh, and I’ll be hospitalized for up to a month, but after that I won’t be able to do it, so I’ll get better quickly!”
The silver-haired woman left her house as quickly as she had come.
Someone who cares about me…
Of course I know. How much Lee Ji-hoo cares about me.
3 times a day, I don’t forget, I send different text messages every time, and these days, I wait until late at night in front of my house every day to see if I’m worried, then go back to my house.
I saw it all, I knew it all.
But thinking I still lacked courage, she buried her head again.
* * *
It’s been 3 weeks since she hasn’t been to school.
I don’t even know if it’s day or night.
I managed to find my phone and turned on the screen, and I saw the words PM 9:45.
She started to check the message that arrived with the familiar hand movements of Seo Joo-ha, as if it had become a habit.
But today’s message box was different from usual.
The text that arrived at 9:00 p.M. For three weeks has not yet arrived today.
Did something urgent happen?
Or… Have you finally made up your mind to abandon me?
Okay. Who would like a girl who chews on contact for three weeks.
Just wishing Jihoo happiness like this, she murmured and tried to console herself.
At that time, a sudden, unknown feeling of uneasiness came over me.
The feeling that there is something that shouldn’t be here.
Xu Zhou-ha, who became half-human and half-horse, was able to figure out what that existence was more clearly than anyone else.
“Idiots…”
Just ignore it, keep quiet and someone will take care of it.
An unknown voice whispers in my head.
Yes, I might die if we even make eye contact.
But she was telling her that her heart, her heart, had to look out now.
Xu Zhou-ha finally pulled back her curtains with her hands after three weeks.
Grasping her quivering chest and looking outside her, a familiar face from afar caught her eye.
“Jihoo… Hey?”
Lee Ji-hoo and the man standing next to her cautiously enter the alleyway.
However, they did not notice that the fleshy wall of tentacles was slowly forming behind them, where they could not see.
What do we do? Shall we run right now?
What if Jihoo asks why you didn’t contact me?
If you say you don’t need a monster like me… What should I do?
While she was contemplating, the tentacle wall was almost finished.
If we don’t get out now, the two of us will die.
Suddenly, the woman’s words flashed in her mind.
[Treasure the person who cares about you.]
Why was I worrying?
It was such a simple conclusion.
I want to see Lee Ji-hoo fall for me and lose her mind.
She wants to go on another date with him, and she wants to share her warm memories with him.
Even if it’s a monster… I want to fall in love.
Then there is nothing you can do
The magic she had forgotten for three weeks unfolded in her hands at that moment.
