Chapter 111 – 18. The Road Not Taken (5)
My vision turned to darkness as I felt my belly button tug.
It feels like being sucked into a dark cave.
“It’s not in the shadows.”
Before I could ask, I heard Juha’s voice from behind.
No, next to it? Maybe it’s ahead…
I struggle with my limbs, but I can’t control my body properly.
Even the control of the body gradually disappears due to the unfamiliar sensation that the whole body is floating.
Into the deep abyss, little by little, slowly…
“…Whoa. Mind…”
Before I knew it, Juha’s voice buzzed like an echo, and I couldn’t even tell what he was saying.
It just sinks infinitely deeper.
Not knowing whether her eyes were open or closed, not even sure if she was breathing.
I managed to pull out one word from the endless flickering of my consciousness.
Seo Joo-ha.
Seo Joo-ha led me here.
…Why? Haven’t you been avoiding me since that day?
He grabbed his throbbing head and continued his thoughts.
Even during the practical evaluation, I never got in touch, and even during the temporary vacation that lasted over a month, I never ran into anything.
After school started, every time I happened to see my face at school, I waved and said hello, but even that was deliberately ignored and I used to walk past me.
So I just thought that I still had awkward feelings.
Why did you suddenly come to me and do this?
Even the voice that sounds like an emergency is getting further and further away from my ears.
Suddenly, I felt that something was wrong.
‘My body… Doesn’t move.’
If you were just going to talk, you wouldn’t have to do this.
No matter how angry he was, Seo Ju-ha was not the kind of person who would do such a dangerous thing.
Waves of numbness were already riding up his neck and slowly encroaching on his head.
The feeling that an unpleasant grip has gripped a part of the body and that part ceases to be my body.
Waves of emptiness crept over my head, devouring my nose, tearing my ears, and digging into my eyes.
The lumps of gray matter and white matter trapped inside the skull were also slowly hardening against the rising darkness.
So, I became a doll.
A brain doll that has no choice but to continue thinking without all senses.
Her consciousness, which had been fading, also gradually became clearer thanks to her holding onto it tightly.
The bizarre sensation of being the only one in the empty universe of 13.8 billion light years.
At that moment, someone’s voice was faintly heard in my head.
– Welcome to the sea of consciousness, Jihoo.
Seo Ju-ha’s voice… No, someone was ‘borrowing’ Seo Ju-ha’s voice.
Realizing that fact instinctively, she continued her words in a tone that seemed to be reminded of.
– You got it right. That’s right, it just happened to throw a shadow on you, so I intercepted it for a very short time. You probably didn’t even notice Seo Joo Ha…?
Even if you didn’t say it out of your mouth, you naturally receive the words.
In the first place, it is questionable whether an organ called the mouth even exists now.
Maybe it is being conveyed to the other person at the same time I am thinking.
– This is literally the ‘sea of consciousness’. Nothing other than consciousness can enter. Well… If you do it well, you can even feel other senses.
As soon as she finished speaking, an excruciating pain as if gouging out her eyes invaded her body.
I feel… The pain. Some of her stolen senses were coming back.
The process of regaining sensation from numbness was, to be honest, terrifying.
After a few hellish seconds passed, I was able to carefully open my eyes and look around.
– Isn’t it beautiful…? Imagine that every single one of those shining stars is human consciousness.
The universe he saw with his own eyes was closer to light than emptiness.
It is also a very bright and brilliant light.
And the Milky Way, where those lights gathered and spread out in front of my eyes, was so beautiful that it took my mind off my guard.
To be honest, for a very brief moment, I thought that I would like to stay in this space forever.
But it immediately catches up.
Who is the person who speaks to me in a friendly way through the mouth of Seo Ju-ha, and why is he showing me this kind of scenery?
I thought about it constantly, trying not to focus on the bewitching vision.
‘Why did you bring me here?’
– Well… I just want to see you once since I haven’t seen you for a long time…? You probably won’t feel it because you’ve lost your sense of touch, but it’s still right behind you.
It makes me angry that he dares to say such a thing in Juha’s voice, as it seems strangely ridiculing me.
Perhaps feeling the intense rage in my emotions, she let out a slightly embarrassed laugh.
– Please don’t be so angry. I also wanted to see myself. Um… Come to think of it, I have a few things to tell you.
Say it quickly and go away.
I don’t know who you are, but if I want to see you, I’ll have to talk to you face to face.
Seeing that you can make time close to stop and have a conversation like this without any restrictions, I think it’s probably outside the standard…
The existence of a person presumed to be a writer, whom I was able to contact only once last time, comes to mind.
– There are many complaints. Okay. I’ll tell you just two things. Let’s just do that for today, and let’s talk about the rest slowly… Then, first. Are you plotting a strategy to infiltrate the NIS this time? Take Joo-ha Seo there.
Sudden Seo Joo-ha?
Wasn’t Ellis enough anyway?
I have no idea what her intentions are.
– Don’t forget that I’m always watching over you. You couldn’t say your relationship with Seo Joo-ha was that good these days, right? Make her reconciliation naturally, and have some delayed sex… And surely there will come a moment when you need her.
How the hell do you know that…
He just says what he wants to say and doesn’t answer my questions at all.
– Well… Imagine that. And the second is that sometimes it takes courage to never look back on the road not taken. Ah, think about the meaning of this word on your own… Isn’t it fun when the meaning becomes clear?
It’s no fun when you’re certain.
When I heard that, a sudden thought ran through my head.
There must have been someone who said something similar to me.
It’s been almost two months, but I still remember it clearly.
Jet-black ink-colored bobbed hair, black eyes tinged with a mysterious red light.
An unknown woman who has no idea what kind of thoughts she has or what abilities she hides.
I was finally able to instinctively intuit.
You are Pirahyun.
Even when asked with strong conviction, she just let out a laugh.
The clear vision becomes blurry again.
The stars that filled the universe also flicker slowly, and soon the lights go out like fluorescent lights go out.
It wasn’t until her eyes were completely covered in pitch black that she quietly whispered to me.
– Hehe, see you later.
And consciousness was lost.
* * *
“…Whoa, Jihoo!”
When I opened my eyes, it was a space that seemed nothing different from before.
The same pitch-black darkness, the faintly twinkling starlight, but if there was one thing that had changed, it was that my five senses were fine.
When I wake up, I immediately feel someone hugging me.
“Jihoo… Are you okay? I suddenly lost my mind… Were you shocked that I brought you here by force…? Ho, do you hate this place…? Shall we just go to my house? I don’t see people often these days. I think I’m overdoing it… I’m sorry…!”
Soft and rich to the touch…
The warmth felt vividly on the skin as if you were not wearing anything…
Juha was holding me in his arms.
“Where are you…?”
“Hey, here? Ahaha… Originally, I was just going to go inside and talk a little bit… But somehow it ended up here. This place… Is in my shadow.”
Without a moment to answer, she continued her story.
As if she was about to spill out all the things she had wanted to say over the past few weeks, she kept looking into her eyes.
Seeing her eyes like that, she automatically shuts her mouth and listens.
“Since that day, I’ve been thinking a lot too. What were you thinking when you said that… Even though everyone has their own circumstances, I kept thinking stupid things. How can I persuade them well? If I don’t put it on, it won’t come back to me… But, well, that never happened.”
“That’s because you don’t want to talk to me…”
“Hehe, you don’t have to talk. I think I know a little bit now.”
What did you know
Just like before, you keep saying things you don’t understand.
No… It wasn’t Juha earlier. Let’s not be mistaken.
“Didn’t you say that your ability can affect the human mind?”
“Uh… Yes.”
You remember.
I wanted you to forget it as much as possible.
Unconsciously, I thought of something I shouldn’t have done.
Her hand, which had been fumbling in her trouser pocket, was put down.
If it’s not real, there’s no way there’s a cell phone.
“At that time, I said no because I’m not human… But if you find a way.”
For a moment.
Organize your thoughts a little—
“If you find a way, then erase my painful memories.”
What should I answer?
Are you fully aware of hypnosis?
What else do you mean by painful memories…?
“Please, Jihoo.”
With no time to think about the answer to the question that fills my head with confusion, my vision flickers once again.
Feeling the familiar sensation, I lost my mind once again.
And after a while, when I came to my senses, a familiar, yet unfamiliar piece of furniture came into my blurry field of vision.
After thinking about it for a while, I was able to recall where this place was.
Seo Joo-ha’s house.
First, I had to find out where she was.
I managed to get my wobbly legs up and step inside the tightly closed door.
