Chapter 174 – Chapter 174. I Love You as Much as I Hate Me
Why.
Is she smiling that brightly in this situation?
“Ahaha, haha!”
I wondered if maybe he didn’t understand what I was saying.
No, maybe I misrepresented the meaning…
Around the time I even heard such a thought, she began to gradually close the distance with me.
“Dave, really… Really?”
Pudeudeuk, Pudeuk.
Even though her mind is in a state of control, Celica moves her body forcibly and approaches me.
Her eyes began to widen as she stared at me, as her mental burden raged with him.
“Really…”
As if trying to recall my declaration at this moment.
“Do you really hate me?”
Yes, what came out of her mouth taught me that the meaning of what I said was properly conveyed.
To protect those three.
That I want to lose all my heart to the incarnation of madness that has been ruined while experiencing the future.
“Do you hate me? Really?”
But why is she smiling?
As she whispered love to me with her mouth.
Even though she thought it was okay to resent me, she lightly said that even if she loved others other than herself, she did not feel any jealousy towards him.
“Puh, haha!”
Despite feeling her confusion about him, she couldn’t stop laughing.
No, it was getting bigger.
“That…”
A feeling that goes beyond joy and can be called passion.
She, who had revealed it without regret, narrowed the distance to her by sticking out her own upper body, regardless of her stopped steps.
“I’ve been waiting for that.”
As if mocking my efforts to block her access to herself, rather than revealing her own face.
“I’ve been waiting for that response, Dave…”
To an incomprehensible obsession.
I felt my body tremble from the madness.
“Dave… You can’t even imagine how much, how much I wanted to hear that. You can’t even imagine how much I looked for you because I wanted to hear that!”
“Why…”
The question sputtered out in reflex as the momentum was getting stronger.
A question that makes no sense now.
“Because I love you.”
Yes, even if the answer comes back, it’s the same.
There was no way he could know what the words that came out of his mouth meant.
“Because if I am hated by you, I can love you… Because I can love you only when I am hated by you… !!”
Her efforts to suppress her movement were futile, but the distance between her narrowed and she, who had come right in front of her, opened her arms and began to speak.
“So Dave. Now is your chance.”
Leaving behind the bloody scene.
It teaches you that this moment is the time you have been longing for.
“Now I can’t go against you. You can do anything you want! The opportunity has come for you to trample the strongest from the future with your own hands!!”
The moment I face what urges me to act like that.
It was only when the senses that filled him reached their peak that he realized what she wanted.
“You can’t hold on to my mind forever, can you? It’s obvious what will happen when your strength reaches its limit, right?”
Oh yes, now I know.
This guy…
This guy is just crazy.
Just because the scene he saw in the future was so devastating and hopeless, his perspective was reversed to a level beyond common sense.
It was impossible to understand such a guy.
Still, just in case, I realized how foolish it was to have such an expectation that the words would work.
“Be honest with your heart. What should you do now…”
– Perok!
A provocation that is clearly intended to provoke me.
I finally went over there and decided to be true to my feelings as she wished.
Even the sense of guilt that overtook me at that moment, with fear and hostility towards the person in front of me.
Going further, suppressing what could be called murderous intent.
– Peruk, peruk!
But only the first time is difficult.
The fist continued to swing even after she laid her body on the ground.
Over and over, over and over again, I hit that face and hit it.
-Fuck!! Poop!!
The flesh is crushed beyond being pressed, and blood spurts out.
She could feel the teeth on the inside of her mouth ripping through the mucous membranes and clogging her airway with blood.
“… Dave.”
Even as her blood sputum boiled, her mouth did not stop.
She didn’t want to hear that, so she kept punching her fist.
“Do you hate me?”
I hope her mouth shuts up.
Please…
“Hate me!?”
Please tell me to stop
Stop me if you complain of pain or fear.
Because even one word is fine.
“Me too…”
Just one word to stop.
“I wanted to kill you too!!”
But she doesn’t stop.
Rather, as if I had been waiting for this moment, even while my face was covered with bruises, I only drew the smile I had at the beginning more clearly.
“But I can’t. I want to kill you, but even now, back in the past, I can’t!!”
It’s madman’s bullshit.
When I said I love you, I tried to kill the person I love.
Even though he said he wanted to kill me, why is he accepting all the sadistic feelings I emit into his body now?
“Are you like me?”
I can’t understand.
No, I don’t understand
You shouldn’t show empathy for the person in front of you.
Whatever the reason, no matter what secret I don’t know.
We have to stop her from trying to kill the three of them.
“There is a person in front of you whom you want to kill… Even though I know that killing is the solution, can’t I?”
“Shut up!! You think I can’t!?”
Just like that, the moment when both hands grabbed her neck and put strength into it.
It was only then that she, who was choking on her breath, began to shut her mouth.
Of course you can resist.
If you feel a life crisis.
If it is the mental strength of this woman who walked alone in that destroyed world, she should be able to easily withstand the level of strength she exerts.
“Okay. Continue.”
Still, she doesn’t resist.
“He resents me and hates me.”
Rather, as if I had waited for this moment, I released my strength from my body.
“And put an end to that heart.”
As her breath is choking and her consciousness is gradually fading, she whispers the ending she wants for herself.
The moment when her eyes slowly closed with him, and a smile was drawn on her mouth as if she was finally going to rest.
‘Dave.’
Humanity felt from it.
Fragments of her that remain in this incarnation of madness.
‘Love you.’
Every day she mocked that mind and wanted to use it, to the shame.
Her blooming sincerity towards her is trying to cut off the power she exerts at this moment.
“Shit.”
Blessed with her feelings, her trembling fingertips gradually lose their strength.
“What the fuck!!!”
Before long, her hands were released from her neck, and her power-packed fist was swung at her head.
But she couldn’t even punch her in the face.
I just hit the poor floor to make a loud noise.
By the time the reason was captured by the pain she felt from it, her messed up face finally came into her eyes.
Her face filled with bruises from her consecutive punches…
Yes, that’s what I did
The blood on her hands proves it.
“Puh. Ahaha!”
Still, she was smiling.
Very quiet, but very distinct.
“In the end, it failed~”
Even after arguing so much, he couldn’t kill himself in the end.
Undoubtedly revealing the ridicule towards me.
“No way, you can’t be full on the first drink. If you choke it up to your neck, you’ve gone far.”
Yes, she was laughing.
I sympathized with my weakness for not being able to kill myself in love for myself, and I was raising my body without hesitation.
Even though it didn’t come true, it seems that even this situation was expected to some extent.
“…I’ll finish it like this for today.”
Even without disappointment.
Rather, taking a generous attitude as if showing mercy toward me.
“Because it’s already been a while. No matter how far away it is, if it’s too late, the party will come all the way to find it… Isn’t it a headache to explain that a new hero with no memory annihilated these monsters?”
She laughs as if she’s having fun, caresses my shoulder, and whispers in my ear.
“I’ll go ahead and explain, so Dave can follow along when he’s calmed down. The armor I took off over there was broken, so I cleaned it in the river and came back… I roughly understood it, right?”
As if nothing had happened before, she started to turn her back on me, announcing that she would join her party casually.
It won’t be a lie.
If you’re going to kill me, I’ll tell you who to kill first, as before.
Although he is the one who has already taken the initiative in this situation, he will not bother to hide his true feelings.
“Really.”
Yeah, ’cause she’s got her business.
Even trying to kill three people is to provoke me.
“Do you really want me to die?”
Me who wanted to love her with all her heart.
It’s just that her beginning was wrong, but her heart for her sake was sincere.
I was determined to risk even giving up my life for her sake, while terribly trampling on her heart.
“Why do you have to do this? Why the hell…”
“Even if I tell you, you won’t understand.”
The girl who gave me only her sense of betrayal toward me stopped her steps that were widening her distance and quietly let her words flow.
“As heroes and demon kings always appear in this world, we have no choice but to be destined to do so.”
It’s very quiet, and on the other hand, it emits a voice that would be considered bitter.
“So Dave. Please, don’t forget your heart right now. For the sake of those who love you, the heart that you must kill with your own hands those who threaten them…”
Jerk, jerk.
Celica disappears to the other side of the forest with the sound of footsteps.
I couldn’t help but look at the back view.
Even though she only had a delay to kill them, she couldn’t bear to reach out her hand to kill her in haste.
The truth is that all of this may be a nightmare, that the madness that I have now shown to me, and the vengeful spirit exerted for unknown reasons, may disappear, and that it may eventually return to its original state…
Because I couldn’t give up the hope I had in case.
***
When I first met the Demon King.
The first to lose his life to that overwhelming power was a young elf who had lived for 100 years.
Even though she is a girl with the most extraordinary senses, she did not resist even when she first realized that her demonic power was being extended to her.
Even though she felt threatened, until the moment the blade touched her throat.
As if he had no doubts that the uneasy future that he should have come up with in his head, just in case, would not happen.
‘Why.’
It was the same for the other couples.
She is not only herself, but also the war god’s shrine maiden, and the youngest archmage who made the greatest discovery in human history.
‘This can’t be real.’
Even with the whole scene imprinted in her eyes, she couldn’t even resist.
The one I thought had the toughest spirit in this party more than anyone else.
‘This can’t be real… !’
He was struck by the despair he felt from the scene unfolding before him.
In the end, he faced a future where his body would be torn alive without any resistance.
‘Serica, run away!’
After the two lost their lives, the one standing in my way was a shield-wielding paladin.
Unlike himself, who had already lost his fighting spirit the moment the Demon King appeared.
As ever, she was determined to face the Demon King with her unwavering attitude.
‘Verdia-san, how can you keep her cool?’
Her dearest sister died.
Her dear older sister, with whom she was only close with her, has died.
And now…
Now, her own teacher, even the one who was called a strong supporter, tried to step into her limbs.
‘… You.’
Unlike the two people who did not understand the situation and tried to deny it even though they understood it.
Looking straight at the scene clearly unfolding in front of me.
‘Because it’s my mission to protect you.’
Her radiance swept along with her resolute attitude, but her demon king tried to drive her away by lightly stamping her even on her.
It lasted for only a few seconds.
All he could do at that time was to run away.
She could feel blood raging behind her, but she turned away from even that, and only slightly distanced herself from the scene and used herself.
Is it because you are afraid of the demon king’s power?
No, that was a denial of reality.
That this can’t happen There was no way that such a reality could happen, where three people except himself lost their lives so absurdly.
“Me too, I hope I had a nightmare.”
With her skillful use of mana, she drained the blood from her clothes and skin, and soon even the bruises on her face were gradually erased.
The hero, who finally felt his mind clear, smiled bitterly as he stared at the sky seen through the trees in the forest.
“Dave.”
That day.
Putting on his lips the name of the man who had annihilated his comrades.
“If you hate me.”
Even though such a future was predestined.
I’m suffering from the fact that I can’t bear to end that fate with my own hands.
“If the heart you have becomes clearer…”
“Can I change the future I saw, even a little bit?”
However, the present returns to the past.
Feeling relieved at the fact that such a human heart clearly exists, expressing hatred for the person you love.
