Chapter 454 – Thursday, Week 7 (5)
Marey continued walking without speaking with Merande. Merande moved her lips several times, but didn’t say anything. Whenever Merende seemed to stop her and say something, Maray stopped and looked at Merende.
Every time he stopped like that, Merande, whose body stiffened as if he was nervous, said ‘Ah…’. ‘ ‘Uh… ‘ ‘Hmm… After spitting out meaningless sounds like ‘Sorry’, he repeated to let out a small sigh.
Instead of urging Merande, Marey just said nothing as if nothing had happened. No, it didn’t mean anything. She just talked briefly about things she could see, about the spirits, about the school.
Merende also started responding slightly, as if her tension had eased, but Mare de Parwen’s daily life was mostly filled with things she couldn’t bear to say to others, so it was a conversation material that she could talk about to a girl her age. Was soon exhausted.
After a few laps around the building, Marey and Merendet found a bench resting in the shade of a tree. With nothing more to say, the two stood in front of the bench, not even thinking about waking it up.
“Hmm… There are no more words that come to mind. I’ll bring you a more interesting story next time.”
“Ah… Huh… Marey.”
Merende didn’t seem ready either, so Marais lightly shook her hand, turned her back without hesitation, and took her steps toward her building.
She knew it would end like that.
“Oh, me!! Marey!!”
Merande called Marey loudly behind her. Looking behind her, she saw the vampire lady approaching at high speed, her golden hair slicking.
“Sorry… ! I’m so weird Sorry.”
Merendet said in a voice that seemed to be about to burst into tears at any moment, a voice that gradually faded away. She couldn’t breathe. It felt like she was out of breath. She had to say something, something. At the sight of the girl waiting for her answer while holding her trembling hands tightly, Marei forced her mouth to move.
“…Not strange.”
Even though she knew she couldn’t do this, Marey had no choice but to lie to her. No, she had no choice but to tell her what she wanted so badly. Merande walked slowly, and she brushed past Marey.
Marei involuntarily turned her head to say that she was next to her, but she took a few steps forward and stared blankly at Merende, who was standing there.
“Scared.”
Merende said so. Perhaps she couldn’t bear to see her face, she just looked ahead and continued her words.
“My father says it is because I am cursed.”
Merande let out a long sigh.
“Thank you, sorry, Marey. Really. Yes, thank you so much.”
“What are you so afraid of, Merande?”
“I ruin everything. Family, relationships, everything.”
Merende was just looking ahead. She didn’t even look at Marey behind her and she continued her story. No, she might have been the answer to Marey’s question. Her mrende’s answer was so gloomy, sticky, and muddy that Marei couldn’t say anything.
Lee Ha-woon’s words came to mind. She recalled what Merende had told him not to stand her ground, that she neither defend nor make excuses.
“Isn’t it terrible? It’s this paranoia-like paranoia.”
Mrende said, ‘Haha… ’ She laughed helplessly. Looking at her back, as if she was about to collapse, Marais grabbed Merande’s shoulders without realizing it. Marei couldn’t follow Lee Ha-woon’s words as she looked like she was going to break at any moment.
“That… It’s self-torture, Mrende. Don’t think so.”
“It is a story of conclusion. Always the same result, always hurt the same. Even though it’s worn and worn out, it just keeps hurting, so I’m afraid.”
I could understand why Merende hesitated so much and couldn’t speak. No, he seemed to understand. What flowed from her mouth, she said, was not language, but ooze from her scars. It was disgusting like rotten pus, disgusting self-hatred like a mass of necrotic flesh.
Lee Ha-woon said it was just a common thing that everyone goes through. But even if it was a common occurrence, would it be right to leave Merende alone? No, it wasn’t.
“What I like, everything gets ruined. It may have been a coincidence at first. Yeah, it was a coincidence But, it piled up, it happened again and again, and now I am like this.”
Maray involuntarily took a deep breath in her. But she couldn’t spit it out. She just hugged Mrende tightly. In her intense self-loathing, she was hurting herself. She was slicing, slicing, and cutting herself while crying out in pain.
Asking to watch over herself, she feels sorry for herself and can’t stand it… Merende is so terrible that even Lee Ha-woon ignores it…
“I shouldn’t talk about it, but if I showed myself like this, it would be ruined again. Again, you will regret it. I can’t stand it like this and throw up. Really… Worst of all, am I?”
Marais couldn’t stand it at the sight of Merende asking her question and hugged her tightly from behind. He held her tightly by the neck and held her tightly to her so that she wouldn’t run away and that she wouldn’t fall apart. Merende was pitying herself. She felt sorry for herself. She could have been a paranoid psychopath, as she said.
However, that did not excuse her from leaving her alone. Marey didn’t know anything about her mrende. She didn’t know what she had been through, what the curse she was talking about, or what her family was like.
Still, there was something I had to say.
“Don’t talk like that…”
His voice trembled. I wanted to yell at you. Marey wanted to get angry. What is mrende, what is the curse, why the hell are you saying that? What did your father mean when he said that? Why did she feel sorry for herself? I wanted to scream a lot. I wanted to scream to tear her throat, but her tears came faster and started to flow.
“You are a really nice person. Marey. Stupid… Why are you crying?”
“Mrende is a good person. Merande is a good person.”
“Only you think so. I’m a monster…”
Merande staggered as if she had lost her energy. Marey hugged her tighter so she wouldn’t fall. Merande let out a laugh at her, then carefully placed her hand on her arm as her Marey hugged her neck.
In her hands, which she couldn’t find any strength in, Marei took a deep breath once again. She still struggled to let her breath out. All she could spit out was consolation that wouldn’t help. She had to get to know her slowly and continually in front of her, but she might not be able to understand her.
She might understand at all, but…
“Even so, it’s not Merande’s fault.”
“It’s my fault… ? There’s no one by my side anymore Everyone gets fed up and leaves. I’m equally disappointed when I see empty seats as always. And don’t get hurt.”
At Merende’s words, Maray bit her lips tightly. She wanted to do something for this girl, for the little girl she held in her arms. However, there was nothing she could do for her. From now on
“It’s not your fault!! Because Merende is such a good person! Because she deserves to be happy! Because I will always be by your side! I will be by your side so you won’t be disappointed or hurt!”
No, anyone can do it. It was just a compulsion to not do anything. Frande let out a small laugh. She laughed. But she looked so distressed. Marais hugged Merende as if clinging, as if a newborn baby had not let go of her parent’s hand in hers. Hanging might be the correct expression.
Marey couldn’t see Merande’s expression.
“…Okay, now let go. It’s hard to breathe.”
At her mrende’s words, Marei released her hands that were holding her back. Merende straightened her messy collar with her bunch. It was only after making so many mistakes with her nervous, trembling hands that she looked up at Marei.
“My mother, Lee Ha-woon, and my sister said that.”
Merende stood like that, expressionless. She let out a small sigh, not sure if she was laughing or crying.
“But everyone is tired of me.”
“Only… There are only three of us.”
“Not just.”
Marey regretted her hasty words. Lee Ha-woon’s words came to mind. The word complaining. Does it just look like that to Lee Ha-woon, or does it just look like that to adults? Merande is suffering like this, is it right for her to see it that way?
Merande stretched out her hand and slowly brushed Marey’s cheek. There was no warmth in her tiny hands. Surprised by the coldness, Marey grabbed her hand tightly.
“You are so kind, to the point where I want to lean on you, to the point where I want to trust you.”
“…I’m not a nice person.”
Merendet suddenly burst into laughter. She laughed loudly, very loudly, covering her face for the first time. Marei looked at her blankly at the sudden change in her appearance.
“Marey de Parwen.”
Merende forcibly untied Marey’s hand. And she stood in front of the boy. Wiping away the tears several times with her wrist, she stood there, all alone.
“Surely I will be disappointed. No, you might be disappointed. I’m sure. Because I am a really bad person.”
Merendet, who had wiped away all her tears, stood there, covering her eyes with her hands. Maybe she didn’t want to show her messed up face, or maybe she was ashamed to talk. But she went on with her words.
“Yeah, I like that. I’ve come to like it Can you fill this void?”
Merendet appeared to have calmed down. She knew it was useless even if she licked her wounds. She knew that Merande had left her empty seat, that she could never be replaced by anyone else, because she had been through Marais as well.
“That’s something no one else can fill.”
Marais remembered her mother. She thought of Marie de Fawen, not Ravela and Erden.
She is different from herself and Merende. The void she felt, the emptiness, was not something that could never be filled, but was empty for a while. Because she has opportunities and time ahead of her.
Merande did not cry any more, even when Marey vomited her true heart to Merande for the first time. As if she had just given up, as if nothing had happened, she let out her laugh mixed with a sigh.
“You say so.”
Merande said so and she looked up at the sky. And for a long while she was silent. Marey until she says. She waited for her for a short time for some and too long for others.
“The last time… Remember?”
“Yes… ? Which… ?”
Seeing Marais questioning her, Merande grabbed the hem of her top and repeated stretching it.
“You may never understand me. But now… Even like this.”
Merande’s hand gently wrapped around the boy’s neck. And stood on his toes. Marey’s eyes widened at the soft touch of the tip of his lips. Merande parted his lips as if nothing had happened.
And as soon as Merande runs away, he runs away from the spot. No, he was correct when he said he ran away. Marais stared blankly as she receded from her. A soft touch still lingered on her lips.
