Chapter 203 – Ep.13 – Happy Ending (5)
The moonlight lingers. The three small candles, which had been creating light shadows, just swayed in the moonlight.
The space of the warriors, who do not need so much light, feels bright because of the overlaid moonlight. Both Delrin and the Queen could clearly see each other’s faces.
I see too many things even if I don’t want to see them. The two face each other deeply enough to make them want to look away.
“Ah, ahaha… “
The queen’s trembling head tilted first. She doesn’t even blink her eyes and only lets out a silly laugh.
The queen eventually couldn’t stand it and turned her eyes away,
Delrin looks at her queen with those tender eyes.
Dark elf-style thick eye makeup that flowed down.
Those black powders that were stretched out because of stealing the tears aside.
Around her eyes, swollen with sorrow,
A handful of hairs that are weakly attached.
Even the sound of exhaling is now buried in crying, and burn marks that have not completely disappeared can be seen on the reddish-brown skin that has nothing to cover.
“What. Then, in the end, I am alone.”
The queen raised her body. The white, sticky juice and the bodily fluids of the two of them dripped onto the bed as if they were dripping.
What is left of her Longing for, or clinging to, or collapse toward things that cannot be embraced even if they should be embraced.
The queen sits at the end of the bed, retracing the situation that becomes more disgusting the more she chews on it. Delrin, left behind her, pulls the blanket over her and presses it close to her wall, but she leaves him alone and just sits quietly staring blankly across her.
The only things that caught my eye were the plain wallpaper and small shelves, and
A small cross lying on it. A small piece of wood that everyone holds in their hands and prays to the great gods.
“… Delrin, isn’t that funny?”
Looking at it, the queen says. She asks him, staring nonstop at the rugged crucifix containing the images of the highest goddesses.
“You don’t understand. You said that such great and wonderful gods always look down on me. Do you know how many times I’ve heard that?”
Delrin didn’t answer. He just stared at the Queen’s back in silence with his exhausted body.
“But what is this? How did I come all the way here? Why am I the only one in such a miserable state? Let me tell you.”
He still didn’t answer. The Queen waited a long time for her Delrin’s reply, then she spoke again alone.
“As a god. Then at least one of me should open my eyes and look at it properly. Why do I have to go through these things?”
The queen’s anger and resentment had already been moved elsewhere.
She could no longer be angry with her own man. She wanted to kill him right now, but she loved him too much to do that.
Instead, she exclaims, staring resentfully at a meaningless piece of wood in front of her.
“If you can’t solve one of these things, there’s no need for it. I hear you look down on us humans.”
These were not words that would come out of the mouth of a person living with God. It was blasphemy that I dare not say.
“Tell me. Stupid people wearing a cross lend their strength every time they pray. I know you’re there. I know everything.”
The queen took her two quick steps and headed for the cross. Easily caught in her one hand, she clutched the tree, and once again she spoke to them.
“Respect, be afraid, stop talking about it and say it. If you guys are so great and all-powerful, why do I have to go through this?”
The cross he grasped is crumbled. The power of the queen’s grip splits and twists the cracks in the old wooden structure.
“Why do I have to support you, who are always talking about miracles, but when you really need a miracle, you remain silent.”
Even Delrin feels a strange ominous feeling. I fully experience the horror of seeing something I shouldn’t have seen.
No, because it is Delrin, the ominousness is multiplied. He has never encountered gods or anything like that, but he has encountered countless magic and miracles in another world, as if the gods of another world are about to lash out with thunder at any moment.
His wrists throb. The warrior’s protection vibrates feeling threatened. The grace bestowed upon him by God instinctively demands protection. As if it were about to disappear.
Sensing that dangerous sensation, Delrin grabs his wrist. Beyond the grasp, something vague and difficult to express is conveyed.
But nothing changes.
There’s nothing.
With just a crackling sound,
The cross in the queen’s hand was broken.
And nothing happened.
“I know you’re listening, I know everything!”
There was no divine wrath, no mace against disrespect.
In that small space, only the struggle of a woman sifting through the soft moonlight remained.
“The miracle you love so much, make it happen now! Either put everything back to normal, or… !”
Drops of blood leaked from the queen’s hands as pieces of wood dug into her skin when she broke. The bright red color of love fell heavily drop by drop onto the blue space.
“Or, please do something… “
The Queen’s hands cover her face. The sky facing her with her eyes closed is filled with only darkness. Beyond her pathetically trembling hands, only her shabby breathing leaked out.
Is the miracle of the gods the last place to lean on? When we face a wall we cannot handle alone, we sometimes hope for a miracle.
The unique instability of human beings who are afraid of deficiency is to wander in search of an existence that can reap oneself. Friends, family, teachers, and ultimately God.
But as everyone knows, when the prayer is over, you have to go back to the terrible reality. Nothing is solved by a brief escape to entrust oneself to God.
The world is full of tragedies. Even if you try to avert your eyes, tragedies continue biting tail after tail, persistently and tenaciously harassing humans.
“… “
Looking at the back of the queen, who is somehow familiar, Delrin is silent. He wants to say something right now, but he can’t.
The crest of God perched on his wrist is shining softly in the moonlight. The queen walks toward the evidence that shows the existence of God more clearly than anything else.
“No. I don’t need it all. Delrin, what am I going to do if you don’t like me? It just makes you more tired.”
With nothing but evil left in her hateful reality, the queen hardens her heart once more. She has long since given up her thoughts of stepping down.
“Let’s see who wins. I mean? I would be happy to spend my whole life here. Delrin, are you sure?”
Sometimes humans have to compromise with reality. There are things in the world that you can’t get even if you try to grab them with your hands full. Those things that end up slipping through the cracks no matter how desperately you grab onto them with pitifully small hands to contain what you want.
That’s why humans learn to accept. A child must accept the fact that his parents sometimes leave him, and he must also realize the bitter fact that the world does not revolve around him.
“If you spend more time here with me than the time you spent with those girls, everything will change in the end. No, maybe, a few more decades here will make a huge difference.”
But the queen does not back down.
She says she doesn’t care at all about her blood all over her. She cries out that she will not yield to the world’s tragic yoke.
“And, when it is all over and I go out, I will kill them all. I’m going to kill all of them without leaving a single one out. Delrin Whether you love me or not, I don’t need it anymore. It’s mine anyway.”
The cry was more like a scream. With a face full of pain, she kept screaming. As if they were threatening the gods who would look over the space between the two of them.
Looking at her pleading queen with her arms outstretched, Delrin couldn’t hold back her tears. She was told her broken heart. I could also feel her sincere determination as a woman.
“I don’t need any more. All.”
The Queen no longer wanted her Delrin’s love.
She just wanted to stay by Delrin’s side.
Even if such Delrin doesn’t love herself, or even if she hates herself,
The Queen did not want to lose her Delrin. Her hands, unable to stop the grains of sand escaping from her, wanted to keep at least the faint sand on her palms.
That was all. The Queen could no longer go back to the time before she met Delrin. I didn’t have the confidence to endure a life without him anymore.
Even if it broke, she had to hold onto it. She had to hold on even if it all slipped away.
That was her love
Now the queen didn’t care about anything.
Abandoning even her young, weak heart that she truly wanted her to love her, the queen twisted reality. She refused to accept the harsh future ahead of her.
The Queen loved Delrin.
That much.
“Sorry.”
Delrin felt her love too. Delrin couldn’t control her sadness at that one-way turn to herself.
“It might have been better off than we are now if neither of us had met.”
He sobbed, his hands covering his face. The cold sadness could not be blocked by his hand and kept flowing out.
“But I have to go.”
But Delrin had to go back.
The feelings of everyone he met in another world, their faces, kept flickering in front of his eyes, so he couldn’t stay any longer.
“I have already lost my mind. Because I can’t go.”
“Sorry. Sorry… “
The image of the queen in Delrin’s small eyes was familiar. In the image of her screaming queen, she was superimposed on the images of the women she had walked with so far.
Only now did Delrin understand. She finally came to understand the meaning of the events she had gone through, the encounters and partings, and the adventures.
He cannot leave this world.
When he’s gone, everything tangled up with him falls apart.
Delrin realizes a cruel truth about her that she has been trying so hard to ignore.
She knows that if one day she leaves, everyone around her will end up miserable, just like the woman in front of her.
“I have to go back… “
Not going home,
She has to go back to her own women.
Humans have to take responsibility. Even if he doesn’t want to, he needs to take responsibility for where he is.
“So please stop crying. If the Queen keeps doing that, it means I’m having a hard time… “
To a woman who doesn’t even know her name, who just calls her queen,
Delrin asks for one last thing.
With her wrists clenched and her head thinking of her only option, she begs the Queen to stop her crying.
“… What do you mean? Still can’t figure out the situation? Do you still feel like you could be anything? Incredible. Stupid to the end.”
The Queen can’t understand Delrin like that. She is the one who holds her leash, and she is the one who can choose, but Delrin, who keeps acting stupidly, is dumbfounded.
Seeing that bewildered expression, Delrin closes her eyes. Because she had a hunch that she couldn’t speak.
“Queen, tell me her name, her name.”
Those were the last words she said as she closed her eyes.
“Please give me a name so I can remember. Someday, I will come to see you again. When the Queen is all angry and the older sisters can accept her as the Queen, then I will definitely come back.”
