Chapter 86 – The End (2)
“Happy.”
The beginning started on a positive note.
“I’m happy and happy that Ed’s heart, which had been closed, seems to have finally opened again…”
Klopp.
The sound of saliva passing is heard.
At some point, I could see myself getting nervous.
I didn’t think about what the tension was about.
It was clearly she who took the initiative in her at this moment.
“Why do I feel like I’ve been told a story I should have heard?”
Her expression was unusual.
Anger? Petulance?
It wasn’t anything like that.
Rather, did you say that people who don’t express any emotions at the time when they should be most angry are the scariest?
Now, she is the most suitable for those words.
“I wonder if I have to admit it now and find another way… I wonder.”
People develop based on the past.
It seemed the same for her.
She seemed to be dominated by her emotions, but now she seemed to use them to think about the future.
Immediate and primitive emotions soon became elaborate and once refined emotions.
So I was a little afraid of her.
She seemed to have grown up to her mentality, which was only an adult of legal physical age.
I was just waiting for what she would say next.
It was she who led her mood.
Other way.
In fact, I had no way of knowing what that method was until I said it.
Is it an extreme way or is it a little bit of a step back and different way.
But why do I think I know the answer?
I already knew, but the heart that I didn’t want to know was constantly overflowing.
A desperate request, please don’t just say that.
The problem was that the request could not come out.
“Just as Ed worries a lot about our relationship, I worry a lot too.”
It shouldn’t have been a surprise, but looking at her recently, it seemed more awkward.
“What’s the problem? I’m next to you and I’m with you. Why does the person next to me keep moaning?”
It seemed to be the story after the last visit to my hometown.
The first time I started to doubt the agreement of opinions I encountered for the first time.
Maybe the beginning of what I’m doing now was because of that doubt, and I felt an unknown regret.
If I had just closed my eyes, nothing would have happened.
It’s not harming me, but if I just stayed still, would everything be okay?
Did the past move forward for the future while smiling bitterly at the past?
I heard a lot of thoughts.
Curiosity was said to kill the cat, but now the cat was being tamed with its limbs tied.
“Wouldn’t it hurt me to do this to Ed?”
I wondered if he was saying that because he knew it would hurt, or maybe he was saying that because he wasn’t really aware of it.
What she was doing now was bound to remain her scar.
“Isn’t it an overreaction to care about the girls who are right next to me and I can’t even meet anymore?”
She sighed once, then smiled as if relieved.
“I know. Anything I say, do, or think Ed will never accept.”
Why is it so awkward
Did that word come out of the person’s mouth?
Because she seems to have suppressed her chaotic and fluctuating emotions now?
My head is confused.
A sense of incongruity in an unusual atmosphere and situation was constantly sending warnings.
“So when Ed said that…What should I say?”
“It was good.”
The place where the sentence was cut off was strange.
“But Ed…?”
“Don’t you think the order is out of order?”
Tok. Tok.
She was repeatedly touching the location of my heart.
“…The order?”
“Why should I hear someone else’s name on this fine day, why? Why? Impurity?”
“If your fate will be decided by your choice and my mercy, then of course you should come out later. Why put your safety first?”
Hold on.
The intensity of touching has changed.
From a light tap, it began to pierce strongly as if it were going to pierce the heart.
If you stab it with an awl, you will hear this feeling.
I’ve seen her angry and calm a few times, but she really seemed different today.
“Even if you simply tell me that you love me, that you will never leave, that you will be by my side forever.”
“With just one word, just one word, I could do nothing and collapse and be next to you…Why…”
It was a self-deprecating expression.
Even if he expressed his love so much, he seemed to have hatred towards himself that he could not achieve.
“Why am I not being reciprocated? Only one person has been watching me, so why doesn’t that person look after me?”
Her heart ached
She ended up piercing my chest with her finger.
The words she spoke as if passing through her pain reached her ears.
“I can’t get one of these, so what’s the point of anything else…”
“You know, Ed. It’s unpleasant, isn’t it? A girl like me?”
I felt like something was starting to roll. I felt like something would go wrong if I didn’t stop that rolling.
“Isn’t it very unpleasant to try to win someone’s heart by using this method because you can’t do anything on your own?”
She was forcing an answer.
As if to say so.
Finally, he shut her mouth.
The pressure lasted quite a while.
“It doesn’t matter anymore.”
After that, the atmosphere eased slightly. However, the problem was that it was still heavy.
“I didn’t really do anything. I’ll explain somehow, but I lived with the mindset that if I said it, they’d still recognize me later.”
“It was all in vain.”
“If you ask me something, you just say no.”
“That’s why I think I’m even more tired… I don’t know anymore.”
“Sorry.”
That was all I could say.
I would love to say anything else, but not now.
That was after all of this was over.
“Don’t be sorry. It’s all my fault.”
After saying that, she hugged me.
What day is today
Everything is different from usual.
“So Ed, how would she respond if I asked her if she could ever forget her?”
Wouldn’t it be impossible to forget?
It was a one-way process of building memories, but can we forget the woman who even had her child neatly as if nothing had happened?
It would be best to ask about the past and never meet again.
So she couldn’t answer.
And she seemed to interpret that silence as her answer.
“It seems that she still has feelings for her.”
A deep sigh rang out.
Why can’t I remain in Ed’s heart?
In the end… I can’t help it.
I have to understand.
Because I promised to be by Ed’s side for the rest of my life.
Still.
“I tried my best to make you understand and to be as comfortable as possible…”
“Ah…”
“Because I know for sure that it doesn’t mean anything.”
She had a look on her face as if she had realized her crucial truth.
“I think my emotions got a little bit more intense whenever I thought about what happened in the past.”
“From now on, I won’t be talking about the past.”
To be precise, we forget about why we fought.
Is this the person who was angry and persuaded about the problem until now?
Like someone who was really committed to something, she seemed to be trying to finish something.
“Now I think I have to do what I’ve been putting off until the very end.”
“I didn’t mean to. I can’t help feeling anxious.”
Saying that, she smiled brightly.
The shadow cast by the light seemed very long.
Why?
Listening to what I said so far, I should feel comfortable now, but I don’t think I can.
“I’ll take care of it, Ed. You don’t have to dwell on the past anymore.”
What are you talking about?
“When all of this is over, we’ll get married.”
“Forget everything… Go back to the beginning and start over.”
After that, she started throwing off her clothes.
She came dressed quite well, she thought, but she couldn’t take her hands off.
“After today, I probably won’t even have a chance to do it.”
After today? Opportunity?
I didn’t understand the words.
What does it mean?
If she doesn’t change her mind or someone gets me out of here, she’ll see me forever.
What do you mean?
She was the one who didn’t take off everything.
Did someone do that
It can look better visually if you don’t take it off than if you take it all off.
And…That rule was no exception to me.
She let out a sigh as she realized that her lower back was starting to strain.
That I, too, cannot escape the category of a human male.
After all that hardship, if you release it just a little bit, you’ll come back intact…?
When my thoughts reached that point, I could see the true nature of the sense of incongruity.
She was no longer looking at the past.
After everything was over, he only saw the future where only the two of them existed.
Her willingness to accept the amount of blood for that.
“Wait for a sec…”
Had to dry
The things I thought about as best I could fit in were meaningless.
The words she was trying to say were stuck in her mouth.
She was unable to do anything at the sudden intrusion and had to watch as it ravaged her mouth.
“Paa~”
With a refreshing sound, she began to come up to where I was in earnest.
“For our new future.”
“Have a little fun today.”
It seemed like the start of a very long day.
