How the Tutor Survives 54

Chapter 54 – Flashback (4)

It was the same funeral, but a different funeral.

There was a difference in the people who came to the condolences as if they were informing each other of their situation, and they were a little more grandiose.

It was more painful to know his mother’s sincerity than that fact.

I’d rather not know.

If only I had done the bare minimum.

I would have wished for the rest of my life, but I would have forgotten about it soon after.

I know it’s something I shouldn’t do.

But the death of her maternal uncle brought another loss to me that I thought it was better to do so.

I guess I haven’t even gotten an answer yet.

Why did you leave so soon

If he had told me in advance, he would have come home every vacation, but why didn’t he tell me?

Could it be that the last line was kept because blood was not mixed?

I thought about this and that, but I couldn’t hear the answer.

Because the dead don’t speak.

The time has come.

The reality was truly cruel.

It was time to let go.

That’s how the second breakup came to an end.

###

It was the moment I was about to leave the house.

After all the funerals were over, all the mourners had gone back.

What was left were the servants and bereaved families who worked in this house, but among them, where would I belong?

My maternal aunt came to me.

Perhaps she will take care of this estate until their child becomes an adult.

My maternal aunt was really someone else.

When I first came here, he didn’t say much.

I don’t know if she consented to her husband’s will or abetted her, but she barely spoke her word to her.

“Let’s talk a little bit.”

“Yes.”

It was a face that looked deep.

“I will continue to send you the living expenses that I have already sent you.”

“Because it doesn’t look good to cut it off abruptly.”

Her words were so, but that too would have been in its own favor.

If you really didn’t want to see me, you wouldn’t have cut it off right away.

She was fully capable of it and deserved it.

The fact that nothing has been said for nearly 10 years must be proof of that.

Maybe.

However, I was thinking of refusing the favor.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to let me go now.”

She was looking at me with strange eyes.

Logically, it made sense.

What can a young man in his 20s who has only studied until now go and do?

And she wasn’t wrong.

But I had an idea.

“Thank you so far.”

Not saying it out of courtesy, but really thank you.

Raising a completely unknown child for 10 years was not an easy task.

“What are you really trying to do?”

“Now that I am an adult, I must take care of my future.”

I had one option.

And I also thought that now could bring about a neat result for everyone.

I already owe her a lot just for her 10 years of silent acceptance.

My conscience couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’ll just go.”

“Wait a minute!”

Her calling came from behind her, but she didn’t stop.

With that second loss, I left my second home.

###

My option was to enlist.

Magic was useful in everyday life, but it was also an effective means for the act of war.

One person who could use magic could replace a hundred people who couldn’t use magic.

The state has always tried to put people who can use magic into its forces.

Most of them knew how to use magic, but those who had no future or those who did that usually enlisted.

In the case of officers, many people from families who had served in the military for generations occupied the positions.

My case was a bit vague.

It wasn’t a good family, but the point that I came to college.

A guarantee written by my maternal aunt as a last favor.

Two of them made it possible for me to serve in the military as an officer.

Of course, the recruiter’s expression was that of seeing all kinds of crazy people.

An Imperial University student who could work in the system if he spent 4 years quietly said he would enlist in the army here.

It seemed as if my existence had been foreign to that extent, and the news had gone to a fairly high place.

Actually, I wouldn’t have cared too much if I rolled as a soldier, but my head was complicated enough to think that way.

After spending the night in a bed in the office, he was taken to an institution where officers were trained.

My existence had already become a hot topic, so everyone passing by looked at me once.

I was guided to a place that seemed to be the office of a high-ranking person.

I was left alone in the room with the words to wait for a while.

I heard the door open behind me and someone came in and sat down in front of me.

Anyone could see that this man was a soldier.

“Are you the applicant for that topic?”

“Yes.”

“The more excellent people we have, the better our position is, but can I ask a question?”

“What did the person who went to college apply for?”

“I wanted to say goodbye to the past.”

He raised one of his eyes and observed me.

“It’s the past…”

“No one has a past. I don’t know what kind of person you were on the outside, but now that you’re here, you’re nothing special.”

“I know.”

“Are you going to do it anyway? It’s the last consideration I can do.”

“It’s okay.”

It was from his next words that he realized that he had seen countless human groups.

“The eyes of someone who has lost something.”

It was correct.

“I won’t ask what happened, but don’t dwell too much on the past.”

“Let’s go out.”

I nodded and left the room.

###

After completing the one-year officer training course, I was deployed to the eastern part of the Empire.

In fact, as an officer, I didn’t have much to do with my body.

I didn’t know if it reflected the circumstances of being a college graduate, but what I mainly did was a lot of paperwork.

Of course, sometimes it was put into practice.

When conducting a search for post-evaluation after casting magic from a distance, there were cases where unknown blood was scattered around.

Even then, it didn’t matter too much.

It was one night when I had been spending a year and a half like that.

While I was on duty, I had a sudden thought.

What am I doing here

I came here to organize my thoughts, but paradoxically, my thoughts increased even more.

‘What would my parents say if they saw me now?’

My parents didn’t seem to object to anything I did.

I wasn’t a good parent, but I thought they would understand and accept me because I was a parent.

‘What would my uncle say if he saw me now?’

What did she say that she was playing a soldier who would die when she brought in and raised a child who would not be strange no matter where and when she died?

When my thoughts reached that point, I felt my mind clearing up.

My place was not here.

The day after the duty was over, he went to his immediate superior and said that he would be discharged.

My new direct supervisor, who had just arrived, saw me and said yes.

It was a bonus to say to prepare well for the takeover.

After one month, he left the unit.

I was relieved.

I felt at ease, as if this was what I should have done.

Since I enlisted after organizing almost everything, all I had left was my uniform, some personal items, and my parents’ legacy.

Even if I went back, I couldn’t go back to school right away, so I found a room and lived there.

And it all started with a letter that came one day.

###

The story that started on the hill was leading to the carriage going back to Jedo.

I didn’t bother to bring up the story of Heina.

I had to take it out and I couldn’t take it out.

She listened through my story.

It wouldn’t have been fun, but I was grateful for just listening to it.

I also felt relieved because I had never told anyone the whole story.

It seemed that the lump in my heart had finally been released.

She hugged me without saying a word, as if she had seen my expression.

How long have you been there? Before you knew it, you arrived at the island.

The carriage headed for her house.

Although it was only natural that it was she who brought her carriage.

It came to a complete stop and we got off.

“Good, sir.”

It was a word with many meanings.

I coughed blankly because I remembered what had happened at that time.

“Go in carefully, sir.”

“Get some rest.”

Watch her go in

How long this love will last probably depends on what we do.

I suddenly had such a thought.

###

She was a woman who could come home and rest, but she was a woman who couldn’t just rest.

Still, she was probably the biggest beneficiary of this trip.

She really gained a lot from this trip.

Progress with him, his heart.

Surprisingly, the rank in her heart was not Jindo.

It was she who had thought of getting up in the same bed as him if he had become an adult and hadn’t touched himself, even with the help of her alcohol.

But he didn’t and he coveted himself to his heart’s content.

Was it effective that she touched his heart well?

She was the one who thought so.

She said that what made her think she was really good at going on this trip was that she got all his thoughts.

What thoughts did he have, and what memories were those thoughts based on.

It was the ‘fear of loss’.

But now was the time to relive the happy memories.

Praying that this happy time would last long, she fell asleep.