Chapter 0 – I Hate My Junior to Death
Depressed,
Cold, hungry and lonely,
Life no longer has meaning.
Those were the last emotions I remember.
Because I died a lonely death in a single room left alone like that.
To die alone at an age when others would cry for youth is really embarrassing, but
It was a very appropriate end for me, who had no courage to take his own life, and forcibly continued the rest of his depressed and painful life.
“…”
Last… , But it didn’t.
I don’t know why, but I came back to life again.
Would it be correct to say that this survived?
I’ve been living in a world I’ve never seen before, not in Seoul, Korea, or the Earth, and I’ve been living for ten years.
To be honest, I still have no sense of reality.
Wagons instead of cars, kings instead of presidents, magic instead of science…
Above all, being a woman is so unrealistic that I feel isolated from the world and thrown away, like a misaligned cog that doesn’t turn.
At first? And I couldn’t accept it at all.
The fear and helplessness I felt at the moment of death immediately hit me, and even though I was moving, it felt like it wasn’t my body at all.
When I woke up after fainting from exhaustion from crying, I had no choice but to accept the reality.
I didn’t have a sense of reality because I was too thin to use it, but thinking the opposite way, I felt like I was dealing with a game character, or like an actor playing a certain role, yes, acting, I was living a new life.
However, even though the body has changed, the unique chronic disease remains the same.
Feeling burdened by the gaze of others and being afraid of being criticized… Well, stuff like that.
Knowing that if I reveal my rotten heart, I won’t be able to buy anyone’s empathy or comfort, I’ll only end up hurting them, so I hid my true feelings.
I was afraid that it would be discovered, so I decided not to be close to anyone beyond a certain distance, and to draw a line between people.
It’s been ten years already…
So far, I’m hiding this disgusting inside well.
Ok, but now
I think that will break.
“Senior, aren’t you tired?”
It was the first academy student I saw who spoke to me.
Judging by the green tie, he was in first grade.
When I opened my eyes wide and looked up, the junior smiled shyly and continued to speak.
“You look a little depressed. I asked if I could be of any help, but if not, I’m sorry.”
“You look depressed” Was a phrase I often heard.
She doesn’t get along well with anyone, and thanks to that, it’s only natural that she doesn’t participate in school events or anything like that.
That would be my evaluation at this academy.
Even though it’s something I’ve heard all the time.
Why, why don’t I feel so good?
It’s not a big deal, but it’s just that the cheeky junior is acting out of place.
Why does it sound so expensive?
“Are you okay.”
“Wow, you don’t have to say respectful words.”
“This is convenient.”
When I say things like this,
My partner always looked at me with strange eyes.
But it’s really comfortable.
But my juniors were different.
I don’t know why, but I’ve been looking at me with sparkling eyes.
His gaze was so direct that I felt uncomfortable and couldn’t make eye contact.
“You are kind.”
“…”
What did I just hear?
What the hell
Are you kind when you use respectful words?
Your standards for kindness are too low.
I don’t know anything, but I hope you don’t tell me as if you’ve read my mind like that.
To control the bubbling inside,
I couldn’t properly hear what my juniors were saying over and over again, so I
“… Nice.”
I could only barely hear the end of it.
And around that time, I
I could barely figure out why this junior was so obnoxious.
The tightly ironed academy uniform and handsome appearance are the same,
The juniors had an aura unique to a shining person.
From the time I was born until now, I have been receiving lots of love and growing up,
I have no hesitation in touching my heart,
Even if I get hurt, I have the confidence to shake it off-
The atmosphere that seems to say,
I hated it.
Because it’s something I don’t have, because it’s something I’ll never have,
I was jealous and hated it to the point of death, and I wanted to destroy it invisibly in front of my eyes rather than drool and envy it.
Exactly ten years since I started living a new life.
Academy sophomore. My name is Eve Christmas.
To me who lived because I couldn’t die,
I have a goal I want to achieve.
Torment this shining man to death, grab him by the ankles and bring him down to the same level as me, to know who I am, what you just dared to say,
I want to tell you clearly.
Today, when you said useless things to me out of vain,
I want to make you regret for the rest of your life…
That’s how I came to think.
