Chapter 183 – Chapter 183
“Ouch.”
Do-gyun’s moaning sound.
Eun-ah sat on the sofa and placed an ice pack on Do-kyun’s blue-stained left eye, in a position to put a pillow on her lap.
“Joe, be careful…”
What a surprise she was as soon as she opened her eyes in the morning. She was told it was because she had tripped the wrong way last night and fell like this, but she swallowed the question, “How did she fall?” She swallowed the question.
It was an expression of the thought that Do-gyun might be ashamed.
It was a very fortunate consideration for Do-gyun.
When Eun-ah asks her what happened last night, it’s because she had to tell her about her immature mistake.
She keeps mentioning that Eun-seol is actually about the age of a middle school student, and says, ‘I should call him older brother. No, is it uncle?
Do-gyun frowned at the throbbing pain that seldom subsided and spoke to Eun-ah.
“… I have to go to work tomorrow, will this last a long time?”
“Yes, yes… I think it will take a week…”
“Okay…”
Do-kyun continued his thoughts with a pained sound.
‘Real hitting is too much…’
No matter how playful you are, you still punch people. … Do-gyun, who was thinking about it, sighed and brushed off his thoughts.
He tried to justify himself somehow, but when he dug deep, he was right about what he did wrong, so it was like that.
Eun-seol was so drunk that his face turned red, and even gave him a couple of warnings before hitting him.
Even if you try to make excuses, the conclusion that emerges in the end is your own fault.
Depressed, Do-gyun turned his body to the side and buried her face in Eun-ah’s stomach, from the position he had been lying on Eun-ah’s thigh until the day before.
“Oh, honey bee… Then I can’t steam…”
“Just a little.”
As I put my face on her belly, Eun-ah’s body temperature touched her face. A warm energy permeated over her eyelids, which had been cold until just before, and a tingling sensation arose.
Pleasant tingle. Plus, with each breath Eun-ah inhaled and exhaled, the fat on her belly that touched her face softened, making her feel even better.
Do-gyun felt the fat press against his nose, and his playful spirit pushed his head forward and pressed Eun-ah’s belly.
“Kkeuhing!”
Eun-ah’s body shook greatly. Eun-ah’s body, whose tickle resistance converges to 0, showed a great response even to such a small movement, stimulating Do-gyun’s playfulness.
Kick kick. Laughter escaped Dokyun’s mouth.
A rugged expression appeared on Eun-ah’s face as she slightly lifted her head and looked at her.
“Oh no…”
Eun-ah rolled Do-gyun upright, put her ice pack back on her bruised eyes and steamed them, adding her words.
“Yeah, that’s at night…”
The words he added quietly reminded me of something excited. Do-kyun couldn’t bear to answer that question and bit his mouth shut.
*
The next day, Eun-a sat in her office and blankly scribbled her pen over her notebook.
What you’ve been doing lately. It was to organize her own timeline.
The work of integrating the memories of her other personalities that have been integrated into one, and integrating her own time of living with her different personalities into one.
It started at the doctor’s recommendation, and now Eun-a heard her fun and was doing it.
A long straight line running vertically through a note.
From the top of the line, Eun-ah began to write down all the moments she remembered.
After being left alone as a child, living as Eunji and rummaging around the whole house.
Living as silver, writing all day, and going to middle school.
Living by Eunbyeol, going to high school, and sorting out all the things I had been doing here and there, there was a moment when I felt that they were ‘what I did’.
Now and completely those personalities are starting to dissolve.
Eun-a smiled as she filled in the line “Middle school days” Located right in the middle of her notebook.
It’s because Eun-sam’s school life is running through his head.
‘Beep, I’ve been ripped off…’
It reminded me of Eun-sam, who went home crying after taking 50,000 won from the Iljins who were smoking in the back alley on the way home from school.
The first thing I did after going home was to sit down in front of the computer and write.
On that day, Eun-sam wrote a letter about beating the Iljins with his psychic powers.
The pen is pointing down.
The part to be filled this time is when I was in high school. It was the time when Eunbyeol was in the middle of school.
Eunbyeol had many friends.
No, it would be correct to say that there were many people around. Even though Eunbyeol treats people approaching with kindness, he always puts up a wall in his heart and distances himself from them, so it would be a little awkward to call them friends.
Eun-ah could now understand why Eun-byeol had hit a wall with the people around her.
‘Because of me…’
Eun-byeol thought of her life as a life she had to give back to her Eun-ah, and she thought it was a life to return to Eun-ah, so he didn’t make a relationship more than necessary.
Eun-byeol, who is the most precious friend to Eun-a, a friend who is so reliable and strong, he was for himself even at that moment when he was not aware of her Eun-byeol.
Eun-a, who felt a little stuffy inside at the realization, let out a short breath at the guilt and regret that came to her mind for some reason, and corrected her pen.
That was me too
It was me who gave it to me who even I let go of.
Eun-ah thought of Eun-byeol, and she adjusted her expression while thinking of the other self she had given for herself.
The pen continued to fill the timeline.
The day Eun-ji smiled in front of a full-length mirror in a dress, the day Eun-sam had an argument with a stranger while playing a community, and the day Eun-byul first encountered baseball and went to watch a game were all recorded in a notebook.
The notebook that was completed before I knew it was filled with letters.
However, the reason why there are still more parts left blank is because Eun-ah hasn’t fully come back as one yet.
Eun-ah quietly looked at the blanks in her notebook and continued her thoughts.
It was an empty space created by Eunchae and Eunseol.
Most of the blank spaces are probably created by hidden seol.
Apart from the high importance Eun-chae has as her personality, her active time was the shortest among her personalities, so she actually took up a small part of her timeline.
On the other hand, Eun-seol has a lot of importance, but as she is a person who is in charge of control and management, she has a longer active time than other personalities.
Eun-seol lived a time that was longer than the sum of all other personalities’ activities, or to put it another way, similar to the time she lived as Eun-ah.
There was another special thing about Eun-seol.
In the past, Eun-ah didn’t recognize all other personalities, but she definitely recognized Eun-seol in the form of ‘sister’.
Of course, she perceived it in a distorted form due to the delusions of those days, but she knew for sure that Eun-seol existed and lived with her.
There are things I still remember.
As his body grew little by little, Eun-seol carefully packed clothes, underwear, and daily necessities that suited her and put them on the table in the living room.
She had left a post-it note in front of the refrigerator saying, ‘I’m late, so I’m sorry. I’m eating alone.’
When the furniture in the house was damaged because of her disorder, new furniture was brought in before she knew it.
Now Eun-ah knew.
Eun-seol has lived for herself all her past time. Although she had lived a similar time to herself, she had lived that long, Eun-seol had never lived for herself.
She couldn’t even fathom how she would feel.
Of course, that’s because she doesn’t know Eun-seol.
Eun-ah knows that Eun-seol has lived a caring and sacrificial life, but she has no idea what Eun-seol thinks.
To get into it more fundamentally before arguing about them, she didn’t even know the trauma that made up the personality of Eun-seol.
All of her personalities were based on trauma.
Eun-ji from the agony of being left alone, Eun-sam from the compulsion to write, Eun-byeol from the desire to be loved, and Eun-chae from the distorted perception of being a good child.
All of this has been revealed, but the trauma that still makes up the secret is still unknown.
All I know is that the personality called Eun-seol plays the role of control.
For some reason, she had no idea why she had to take on that role or what the underlying trauma was.
If it’s natural, then it’s natural. She herself has never actually seen Eun-seol.
She was unable to look at the reality at that time because she was eventually weighed down by her delusions. She was busy taking care of herself within the fence that Eun-seol had set up for her.
I learned about Yi Je and Eun-seol’s tastes, but I still didn’t know about Eun-seol’s personality itself.
Again, Eun-ah’s eyes scanned the timeline written on the notebook.
There was an empty space that took up more than half of it.
It was her own time she didn’t know.
The empty space was the time of concealment that Eun-ah could not bear to fill.
