Chapter 115 – Chapter 115
Do-gyun finished cleaning up and returned to his room and sighed as he sat on his chair.
It was an unexpected stumbling block.
Since Eunchae had no basic knowledge about life, I had to take care of each one, but this was not an easy task.
It was natural. I had to live while paying attention to each and every part, such as eating and brushing my teeth, that I hadn’t thought of because it was so routine.
Do-gyun sighed again and asked a question to Eun-chae, who blinked at me.
“What are you doing?”
“The bee is watching.”
“… Yes.”
Silence that follows.
It was a silence created by Do-kyun, not knowing what to say.
She called to talk, but Ko Eun-chae was not properly aware of the concept of conversation itself.
An exchange of thoughts and opinions verbally on a topic.
She was a woman who couldn’t do it.
It was easy enough to come up with a reason.
‘Because I’ve never done it before.’
It’s a fact that makes me sick to my stomach when I think about it. Do-gyun, who gnawed his teeth at him, opened his mouth as he crossed his arms and leaned back on the backrest.
“It’s late, so go to bed today. Let’s talk tomorrow.”
“Sleep?”
“Okay, go to bed.”
“Yeah.”
Saying that, sticking out his tongue.
While thinking about him, ‘Why do you stick out your tongue when you grow up?’, Do-gyun, realizing the meaning of that action a step later, quickly reached out and covered Eun-chae’s mouth.
“Hey!”
“Oops…”
Do-kyun let out a short breath, feeling his heart pounding.
Growing up, why do you harm yourself? With that thought in mind, he glared hard at Eun-chae and removed her hand, and Eun-chae tilted his head and spat out the words.
“I need to sleep.”
“What?”
“You have to do good to sleep.”
Stop.
Her hand, which had been resting near Eun-chae’s chin, stopped, and then her realization passed by.
That the sleep she thinks of herself and the sleep she thinks may be different forms.
‘Because I’ve never had a normal sleep.’
To her, her sleep must have meant giving up the initiative of her body and sinking into unconsciousness. Plus, I had to harm myself in order to sink.
Maybe it’s an action that feels natural. She must have been trying to harm herself so that she could sleep.
Do-gyun, who took a moment to let out a long sigh at the thought that came to his mind, soon frowned and spoke in a tone full of upset.
“No, I can sleep without doing good things.”
“Yes?”
The transmitted eyes are tinged with a dull light.
The innocence that made Do-gyun feel fear. Transparent eyes that do not detect even a handful of malice.
Looking at him, Do-gyun realized where the discrepancy he felt in her actions came from.
That was a divergence from ignorance.
Because I didn’t know anything, I didn’t know what was right, so I acted according to my instincts, and there was a gap between my words and actions.
In order to sleep, you must harm yourself. Instead, it should hurt.
It doesn’t sound like words, but it’s because you don’t recognize that it’s not right, so you do such actions without malice.
Another passing realization.
The more Do-kyun learns about her causal relationship, the more he sympathizes with her.
My expression blurs for no reason. Her fingertips twitch.
After looking at Eun-chae with a frown on her face for a while, Eun-chae opened her mouth.
“Are you sick bee?”
“… It doesn’t hurt.”
A question asked several times today alone. In an instant, Do-kyun realized what kind of action she would take if he answered that.
Probably commit suicide
She thinks she shouldn’t be sick, so she’ll probably have a seizure instead.
That would not make his pain go away, but he would be unknown to Eun-chae.
In her head, it would be natural that if she was sick instead of me, I wouldn’t be sick.
Do-gyun put his flinching fingertips over her eyes, lowered his eyelids, and opened her lips slightly to speak.
“Close your eyes and relax your body.”
How to sleep how to fall asleep It was something Do-gyun had never thought of before.
Because it’s natural. Because sleeping is so natural. He never once thought about that method.
However, now was the time to think about it.
Do-gyun followed her words and watched her stretch her body and close her eyes, then she opened her mouth again.
“Don’t think, clear your head and stay like that. Then I will fall asleep.”
He usually added words one by one, reflecting on what he had done to sleep.
Eun-chae was surprisingly unopposed. Following her own words, she surrendered herself obediently.
“If you’re really tired, just focus on breathing. Then her head goes blank. You surrender to that feeling.”
Words that go on and on.
After talking for a while, Eunchae suddenly opened her eyes and opened her mouth.
“Bee.”
“Why.”
“How can I not think?”
“… Yes?”
A sudden question. At that, Do-gyun felt embarrassment welling up.
What do you do when you don’t think, isn’t it just a matter of not thinking?
As she remembered that thought and tilted her head, Eun-chae continued.
“Thinking not to think is also thinking, but if you want to stop thinking, you have to think thinking not thinking.”
Do-gyun felt that his head was dizzy at the words being handed over.
These were the longest words ever spoken by Eunchae.
However, rather than such feelings, the meaning of the words conveyed came first and disturbed Do-gyun’s image.
“That…”
I was at a loss for words to answer.
When I heard it, it was because it was plausible. If you think about it, isn’t not thinking about thinking? It is not a conscious movement. Isn’t it an act of engraving the sentence “I shouldn’t think about anything” In my head.
“Uh…”
Do-gyun felt his head getting complicated.
If so, what do you do when you don’t really think about it? You have to push your consciousness in and raise your unconscious, but if you do a series of actions to do that, you will think of the intention of the action, and that will eventually lead to thinking.
“Well…”
The bone is kicking hard.
‘How am I not thinking?’
A question that suddenly comes to mind.
As the thought deepened, the subject began to set foot in the realm of thought in Do-gyun’s head.
What is thinking what is an accident How to define and how to control him.
Deepening doubt. As Do-gyun’s expression became serious, Eun-chae opened her mouth once again.
“Are you sick bee?”
“Yes? Oh, it doesn’t hurt.”
Do-gyun’s spirit was awakened by the sudden words.
‘What was I just thinking?’
Do-gyun tried to remember what I was thinking right before, but he tilted his head, feeling that he couldn’t remember.
Then Do-gyun came up with the thought, ‘It must have been nothing special’, and soon he shook his head excitedly to shake off his thoughts and looked at Eun-chae again.
Eun-chae’s eyes blink. The head tilts sideways.
‘… How do I get them to sleep?’
If I’m tired, I’ll fall asleep, but I don’t even see it. In the end, you have to force it.
I couldn’t think of a way.
For a while, Do-gyun was able to grab onto a thought that passed through his head.
‘Lullaby?’
Should I call that too?
Do-kyun recalled that thought and cast his gaze toward Eun-chae, who had been staring blankly at him until the day before yesterday.
“Can you sing me a song?”
“Sing?”
Oh, I don’t even know the song.
Do-gyun, who quickly agreed and nodded, sat down on the bed and continued.
“There’s something called a lullaby that you sing when you sleep.”
Do-gyun saw Eun-chae tilt his head at my words, sighed deeply, put his hand on his shoulder, and cleared his throat.
Even after that, when I was in high school, my nickname was ‘Singing Swordsman’.
Say you have confidence in one song.
Do-gyun, who had a grin on his face, cleared his throat while ‘curring’ and ‘humming’, and soon began to sing a lullaby.
“Sleep well, my baby~ in the front yard and back garden~.”
Do-gyun patted Eun-chae’s shoulder as he sang in a quiet voice, befitting the purpose of being a lullaby.
It had been a long time since he had sung a song, so he seemed to be a little nervous, but he continued to sing, thinking that this was still worth listening to.
I was singing almost all of the first verse like that.
“Bee.”
Eun-chae opened her mouth.
Do-kyun, who had closed her eyes until the day before and fell in love with her song, stopped her song and stared at her at the voice.
Do-gyun, who was looking at Eun-chae with his eyes open, saw Eun-chae looking at me with a frown, which he had never seen before, tilted his head and continued.
“Yes?”
“It’s annoying.”
Flinch.
My body trembled.
‘This year?’
Do-kyun felt a tingling sensation rise inside him and began to open his eyes.
Do you mean that it bothers you when you call it? No, and it sounds like you sang it well, but how can it be annoying?
Do-gyun, who was staring at Eun-chae in the midst of rising resentment, bit his mouth shut at the words she continued to spit out.
“Bee’s voice is strange.”
Words that disparage my skills.
Do-gyun felt a gloomy feeling rise in him.
In fact, there was something Do-gyun didn’t know. The nickname ‘Singing Swordsman’ given to him by his schoolmates was clearly meant as a mockery.
… It was something Do-gyun would never know for the rest of his life.
*
At the end of the bed, Lady Bee had her eyes closed.
The exhaled breath touches the skin. Heat is transmitted His heart throbs again.
I think I need to have more heat somehow, so I stretch my head out, but it’s not easy to reach because my body is tied.
So I twisted his body all over, and after wriggling like that for a long time, I moved a little to where Mr. Bee was.
I once again poked my head out towards Mr. Bee.
“Ah.”
It just barely touched my skin.
Honeybee’s body was so hot, it felt like my insides were warmed just by touching my cheek like this.
The transmitted warmth fills the inside, and the heart starts beating.
When our cheeks were touching like this, it was nice that Mr. Bee’s breath could touch the nape of my neck.
The bee warms the nape of his neck because his breath is so hot.
I felt that feeling for a while, then lowered his head further and put my nose on the nape of Mr. Bee’s neck.
“Sup-.”
A hot energy spread across his face, and the bee’s body scent permeated him.
It smelled warm. It was a bit ticklish, and it was a sad smell.
I don’t think this will satisfy me, but I need a little more. Mr. Bee is a bad boy, so he only transmits his scent little by little.
‘I have to punish you.’
My body didn’t move. Bee was a really bad kid who hated being scolded.
You have to scold me later. As I thought about it, I felt like I was going blank, so I closed my eyes.
A bee beat came from the nape of Mr. Bee’s neck. The smell was also transmitted. And the warmth was transmitted, and the part of the face that touched it was warmed up.
It felt like my body was energized. I was starting to feel languid and somehow numb.
I want to stay like this all day. Bee is a bad kid, but I still wanted to stay like this.
I reflected on the day today.
It was so nice to see the bee hold my hand. He liked to wipe his face, and he liked to pat him on the shoulder.
It was annoying for him to talk to himself while saying strange things, but it was nice that he stopped right away when he told me to stop.
As I sniffed it in full swing, I felt a sense of daze that I couldn’t stand anymore.
In the meantime, I realized what Mr. Bee was talking about.
Oh, this is what makes you sleepy.
If you close your eyes now, you will fall asleep.
It was a strange feeling. It was all hazy, so I couldn’t think, and I just continued to stretch my body.
Suddenly, I felt frightened. I feel like I’m going to disappear.
So I opened my eyes wide, but when I came to my senses, my eyes were closed.
I forced my eyes open and shifted my gaze to look at the bee.
Close your eyes, inhale and exhale again. It looked so comfortable.
Watching it makes me feel better again. I felt like I could just close my eyes like this.
Because it’s so warm and cozy.
‘… It won’t disappear.’
It could happen again.
