Chapter 108 – Chapter 108
The first sensation I felt when I opened my eyes was fatigue.
It was worth it. Eunbyeol tormented me by asking questions nonstop until I got a satisfactory answer, so it gave me time to sleep.
When he remembered that moment again and his head started pounding, Do-gyun rubbed his stiff eyes and got up from the bed.
I was alone in bed. Eun-seol, who passed the baton, must have got up first and left the bedroom.
After thinking about it, Do-gyun left the bedroom and greeted Eun-seol, who was sitting on the sofa reading a book.
“Good morning.”
“Yes.”
Indifferent answer as always. Hearing him, Do-gyun yawned and sat next to Eun-seol, remaining silent for a while before speaking.
“… Eunbyeol is also very eccentric”
Words spoken while reminiscing about the past. Eun-seol, who pursed his lips for a moment, spat out a short answer.
“… You worked hard.”
Upon hearing the answer, Do-kyun shifted his gaze to Eun-seol. A look that oozes some embarrassment.
“Couldn’t you have said something beforehand? Don’t go to the baseball field or something like that…”
“I have to tell him, but if he yells at me, won’t he eventually follow me?”
Theory.
Do-gyun’s mouth was closed.
Eun-seol was right. Even if she had heard that beforehand, she would have been dragged there if Eunbyeol insisted on it.
Silence ensued again, and Do-kyun, who had been awake for a while and was sitting on the sofa and squinting his eyes, suddenly remembered what Eun-byeol had said over dinner the night before.
That Eun-seol is hiding a lot of things because she is worried about herself.
Do-gyun’s gaze turned to Eun-seol.
Sorry heart. In addition to that, he felt dissatisfied, wondering if he was such an unreliable person, but right after that, he remembered the attitude I had shown so far and felt embarrassed.
Looking back, it’s because I showed all kinds of ugliness.
Do-gyun, who swallowed him for a while, closed his eyes and continued to think.
He is the one who always gives the right answer. I also understood why he wouldn’t open the door.
Why don’t you know He was right that he wasn’t ready.
At that moment, if he had opened the door, he would probably have started to moan, thinking of him in a bad way, no matter what was inside him.
While continuing his thoughts, Do-gyun suddenly came up with the question, ‘Is that still the case?’.
The question grew in size, and the question that grew in size was cast over Do-gyun in the form of a sentence.
The sentence that came to my mind was ‘Still can’t you open that door?’.
A thought continued in Do-gyun’s head.
He failed to open the door the first time, and a lot of time has passed since then, and a lot has happened.
Eun-ah’s condition got much worse. Maybe he will go back to the time when we first met. In addition, Ko Eun-chae’s outbursts were supposed to be getting worse.
Even without him, there will be an incident where Eun-ji popped out once during the holiday, and meeting Eun-byeol. You may have had an encounter with a doctor.
That’s about it even if it’s just a big incident, so if you look at each one, there must have been more.
Do-gyun, who was reflecting on the past, thought of the question again.
Did he change anything as he went through a series of situations? Are you still afraid of the door that will stand behind you?
I caught his dazed mind and remembered him.
Troubles that follow. A mind that goes back and forth between positive and negative.
My mind, which had been pondering for a long time, soon began to take steps in the direction of denial.
If you ask if you are afraid, you can still say that you are afraid.
If you ask him if he is dissatisfied with his current life, he will be able to answer no.
Even so, in the end, you have to open the door. Even if you are nothing, even if you are a necessary part of her delusion, even if you become strangers after Eun-ah’s illness is all cured.
If that makes her happy, it must be because she can say that it’s what happened.
Isn’t it just a matter of building it up again from scratch?
Many were taking care of themselves. It was also adding support.
Eun-seol’s consideration was like that, the doctor who gave advice to herself, a stranger, was like that, and Eun-byeol, who played a joke to relieve herself of her impatience, was like that.
Ironically, despite the fact that so many people were helping him, he was ignoring him because of his insecurities.
The thought that came to my mind now was that to me, that door might be like the monster in the closet that I remembered looking at the tightly closed closet as a child.
Even though nothing has been revealed, it must be that I am swallowing the fear alone because I am afraid of it for no reason.
For a while, Do-gyun checked his mind, which had completely gone into denial before he knew it, and spit out the words.
“Eunseol.”
“What.”
“Will you open the studio?”
Do-gyun asked the question and looked at Eun-seol. The way he took his eyes off the book and looked at me.
Eun-seol looked at me for a long time without saying anything else.
As Do-gyun looked at her gaze, he suddenly realized that the shadows under her eyes were not dark circles, but shadows caused by her long eyelashes.
Because of the eyes that open lower than other personalities, he mistook the shadows of the eyelashes under his eyes for dark circles.
A sudden realization. Looking at him with a curious expression, Eun-seol opened her mouth only belatedly.
“… Yes.”
The answer that was delivered was an affirmation with no other words added.
Do-gyun’s expression brightened, and the moment Do-kyun was about to say thanks.
“Eat first before that.”
A word followed.
At the words that followed, a small smile escaped from Do-gyun’s mouth, and then Do-kyun nodded his head and spat out an answer.
“Good. I will cook for you.”
“Yes.”
After the conversation, Do-gyun got up from the sofa and headed to the kitchen.
Do-gyun moved his steps and checked his condition.
The mind was in an unprecedentedly relaxed state. Now, even though the moment to open the door he had been so afraid of had arrived, he did not feel afraid of it.
Perhaps, when he stumbles upon seeing himself in there, it must be because he has someone by his side to pick him up.
Entering the kitchen, Do-kyun, who was about to open the refrigerator door, turned his head back to look at Eun-seol.
Strange person.
He was the kind of person who came up with such thoughts. Even though he always had short conversations with her, she was always a ghostly snatcher of my thoughts.
Thank you, and even more sorry.
Do-gyun, who secretly smiled at the warm feeling inside, tilted his head at the thought that came to mind.
‘But why don’t I notice that I can’t eat coriander?’
I thought about it, but I couldn’t find an answer to this part.
Well, he was someone I didn’t even know.
*
In Do-gyun’s ears, the sound of the key engaging with a ‘click!’ Rang.
Do-gyun looked up and saw Eun-seol opening the door to the studio.
There was a reason he couldn’t find the key.
The key was in the corner of the study, jammed between philosophical books he would never have opened.
Do-gyun, who was once again amazed by Eun-seol’s thoroughness, opened the studio door and tilted his head as he looked at Eun-seol.
“Aren’t you going in with me?”
“I know what’s inside, but what are you going in for?”
Words thrown carelessly. Do-gyun nodded her head, looked at her for a moment, and then went into her studio.
He groped the wall for a light switch, found it and pressed it, revealing a veiled studio beneath the bright light.
“Come out when you see everything.”
Hidden words. Do-gyun nodded, and the door to the studio closed.
Do-gyun looked at the closed door for a while, then started looking at the studio.
It was just bigger than a dressing room and smaller than a study. Books filled one wall. A desk and a computer in front of it. If you go a little further to the side, it was a space where the whole view of the garden came in at a glance through a large window.
As if it had not been touched by humans for quite a long time, white dust settled everywhere in the studio.
Take a moment to check on him as you slowly move your steps.
Where should I look for it? Do-gyun, who remembered that thought, looked around and moved toward the computer that was sitting on the desk.
Right after, Do-gyun, who was wiping the dust on the desk with his hand while looking at the computer that was turned off, found a small picture frame right next to the monitor and picked it up.
The shape of the frame was very familiar to Do-gyun.
‘Where did you see it?’
Do-gyun, who continued to think with a frown on his face, made his eyes widen when he remembered that this frame was the one he had found on the shelf behind the bed the day he first got it.
Do-gyun calmed down for a moment to swallow the surprise as he recalled him, and checked the picture inside it with tense eyes.
Inside the frame was a picture of a person who seemed to be her mother and Eun-ah, who had just taken her toddler.
Familiar background.
Do-kyun felt him and turned his head toward the window.
‘Garden.’
The background of the photo was a tree swing in the garden seen through that window.
Do-gyun’s gaze turned to the frame again.
A woman sitting on a tree swing in the garden and a child next to her.
Do-kyun laughed at Eun-ah standing stupidly holding her mother’s hand, then tilted her head at the person who looked like her mother.
‘Where do you think I saw it?’
In the picture, Eun-ah’s mother made a face that made Do-gyun feel deja vu.
When Eun-ah gets a little older, she has a face that makes her want to become like that.
The feeling of deja vu comes because of the similarity. You might think that, but it was a slightly different form of deja vu.
It’s definitely a face I’ve seen somewhere.
Unfounded confidence.
It was absurd after all, but Do-kyun couldn’t ignore the sensation.
Due to the discomfort coming from somewhere inside, he frowned and glared at the frame for a long time, but no clear answer came out.
At that, Do-gyun let out a deep sigh, and Do-gyun, who put the picture frame back in place, started walking again.
The answer will be in this. With that thought in mind, Do-gyun took another step and then moved to the study, which filled one wall, and began to look through the bookshelves.
Do-gyun, who was contemplating what to look for because there were so many books, found a familiar book among them.
Discolored notes. Eun-ah’s diary as a child.
Do-gyun, who found him, recalled that this was here, took him out for a moment, pushed him back into the bookshelf, and then looked at the bookshelf.
Unlike the books in the study, most of the books here took the form of notes without titles.
There were also printed papers inserted into file albums, and there were also thick leather notebooks.
When I took out the notebooks one by one and opened them, I could see that the sentences were written in elegant handwriting.
The main notes were impressive phrases from books. Expressions that exude admiration, or expressions that make you think about something.
After looking at him for a long time, Do-kyun remembered that there was nothing more to be found in the notebook, put him back on the bookshelf and picked up another book.
You have to look carefully.
With that thought in mind, Do-gyun went through the notes one by one, but immediately after looking at one note, he stopped breathing.
A handwriting unlike anything I have ever seen. Handwriting familiar to Do-gyun.
It was the crooked and cute handwriting of Eun-ah when she was young.
I think I’ve finally found something that might be a clue.
Do-gyun, who recalled that thought, became nervous and began to turn the book page by page.
Meanwhile,
‘… This.’
As the contents continued, Do-gyun’s expression began to harden.
Deja vu.
No, it wasn’t like a sense of déjà vu.
These were things Do-gyun knew for sure.
These were things that Do-gyun could not know.
Why is this written here, in this form, in Eun-ah’s handwriting?
At that thought, Do-gyun’s heart started pounding.
Do-gyun’s hands began to tremble as he turned the pages.
What was written in the book, which was well over a few hundred pages.
‘The rusty sword and the hummingbird’s grave.’
It was a set of fantasy novels that Do-gyun had read for the first time a long time ago.
Do-gyun, who realized him, opened his eyes wide and looked at him, and soon realized the identity of the deja vu he felt while looking at the frame.
Do-gyun covered the note and quickly headed to the desk. Do-kyun, who picked up the frame he had put on top of it, looked at Eun-ah’s mother’s face once again and realized why this face was so familiar.
‘Seo Han-kyung.’
Author of [The Rusty Sword and the Grave of the Hummingbird].
The figure in the frame with Eun-ah is Eun-ah’s mother.
‘… Why.’
He was his childhood idol who committed suicide leaving the last volume until the end and burned the entire community at the time.
