Chapter 87 – Chapter 87
Clap.
There was a sound as the key went into the hole.
Spinning this will reveal the facts she has hidden from me.
Realizing him, the hand holding the key was squeezed tightly, followed by a vibration in the gripped hand. The trembling that spread from his fingertips through his arms to his entire body was clearly caused by hesitation.
“Hoo-wook…”
A sharp breath penetrated his lungs and his chest swelled.
Had to open
I came this far and can’t back down.
Do-kyun thought of that again and then squeezed the key tightly.
Thud. Thud.
My heart starts beating painfully. It was excitement from tension.
I had to catch his heart.
He closed his eyes, blurring his awareness. He refined his breathing again and calmed his heart. It loosened up the tense muscles.
Right after that, Do-kyun felt the tension in his body loosen up a bit and started turning his key.
As his wrist slowly turns clockwise, the sensation of cool iron is transmitted. The hard touch that you feel when you give it strength weighs heavily on your heart.
The key to turning sideways little by little.
In response, Do-gyun closed his eyes tightly and turned him around with force.
What followed.
Knock-!
It was a dull noise caused by the key not engaging.
A chin-hanging sensation transmitted to your fingertips.
Do-gyun, who opened his eyes, found the key that was halfway back and couldn’t go further.
“Ah…”
A sigh flowing from the teeth.
Then, Do-gyun felt the string of tension being pulled tight inside him.
Hot breath flowed from his teeth.
It wasn’t this key.
“Whoa…”
Thud.
He banged his head against the door, and a dull groan echoed.
The feeling of being sucked out of the whole body.
Do-kyun couldn’t support himself and knelt in front of the door.
Do-gyun raised his right hand over his left chest as his heart beat again, frowning.
What made my expression wrinkled was not the regret that my attempt had failed.
The emotion he was feeling now was infinitely close to relief. He himself was relieved that this door had not been opened.
“Turn it off…”
The breath that flowed out like a vomit dissipated the heat inside, and the rough heartbeat subsided.
Even though I stood in front of this door whipping myself until just before, when the door didn’t open, I was relieved without speed.
What followed was a sense of self-doubt, feeling relieved that the life so far could continue.
I hated myself for being relieved at that moment.
Do-gyun knew very well why he was so frightened and why he was relieved.
It was because the answer to the question that had always stuck to me might be there.
Why did he have to be himself? Why is Eun-ah what she wants?
Those doubts that began to settle in me at some point began to take more and more distorted forms the more I realized her condition.
What if she wasn’t what she wanted? What if I just needed someone to do this role for me? What if she was a human being who could be replaced?
Anxiety close to a delusion spreading endlessly.
Those insecurities that had begun to settle in at some point made me turn away from that door. These moments that would continue if I just turned away were so sweet that I was averting my eyes.
It was a feeling that I myself could not understand at all.
She was the woman who suddenly kidnapped me and ruined my life. She was a woman who deserved to pour out all her resentment and hatred.
There shouldn’t be any reason to be sad that I’m nothing to her, but her emotions denied her rationality to the point of being terrible.
It was because of the seed of curiosity that flowed into me, where hatred overflowed.
It was because of the sprout of virginity that the small seed took root in the ground and sprouted.
The sympathy that sprouted grew and entangled my body with stems, and flowers bloomed on the stems hanging in front of my eyes.
The flower that began to bloom in front of her eyes, the love she dared to name, was so beautiful that she lost her gaze.
So, he could not pay attention to the soil named hatred that had nurtured him.
The emotions that came like a thief were shaking me like that.
That’s why he wanted to be her precious person to her. I wanted to continue playing this role in this position.
Selfish greed stopped in front of the truth while continuing such a wish. I was filling my satisfaction with turning my eyes away from the truth.
I didn’t even know what the truth was in there, and I was afraid that it would stab me in pain, so I just stopped.
It was funny.
What if there is a truth you can’t handle? It was enough to overcome him.
Even if the truth lurking in there was something I couldn’t do with my own strength, it was enough if I struggled with all my might.
In the end, it was all up to his own heart.
Even so, even though that was all, he was relieved that the door had not been opened.
I hated the emotions that were bouncing on their own.
I was so pathetic that I could only do this.
In the end, as always, Eun-seol was right. He wasn’t ready yet.
Even though he stood in front of the door with a fuss, he was a coward who was glad that he hadn’t looked inside.
He was still just a coward who was afraid of himself by inflating the unknown unknown to him.
My fists were clenched again, and a feeling of frustration filled my stomach.
The heat from his burning head spread to his eyes and made him vomit.
In the end, I couldn’t open this door myself.
*
Next day. Do-gyun continued to hesitate, fiddling with the handle in front of the door to his hospital room.
When he opened this door, he had to face Eun-seol.
It was something he had done with his own determination, but it was inevitable that he hesitated as the moment came when he was about to be beaten.
What’s more, the only thing I could say was that the income I had earned made me more aware of my pathetic nature, so I was even more desperate for what to say.
I continued to hesitate in front of the door for such a long time.
– Come in.
Her voice came from inside the hospital room.
The appearance of feeling popular.
Realizing that he could no longer stand in front of him, Do-gyun took a deep breath and opened the door to the hospital room.
Then, what was reflected in Do-gyun’s vision as he entered the hospital room was Eun-seol, who was staring at me with a book on his thigh.
Tired eyes that are difficult to read emotions.
She was looking at me with the same complexion as usual.
Do-gyun, who was looking at him, felt that his head was facing down without realizing it. I couldn’t muster up the courage to look straight into those eyes.
As I approached her with only her frustrated feelings, she stared at Do-kyun, who was standing next to her hospital bed, then held out her palm in front of her.
Means to return the key.
Do-gyun handed her the key without saying anything about her.
After receiving her key, she took him into her arms, and Do-kyun’s head fell further.
What words of criticism will prick me. What excuse should I make? While continuing her worries, Do-gyun saw her open her book again and read it.
Suddenly, a feeling of numbness ran through my body.
None of what was expected was right. There was no criticism, no reprimand, no anger towards me. She kept her silence as she just read the book as if nothing had happened.
Dokyun knew what that meant.
She was forgiving herself.
Do-gyun, filled with tears again, spoke out his words in a low tone.
“…Why don’t you say anything?”
He ignored the warning and took the key on his own. She wanted to ask if she didn’t want to be sarcastic because she still had no income.
I thought she would feel more comfortable if I criticized her, so I asked, but she did not give me the answer that Do-gyun wanted.
“Is there any reason?”
Careless tone. Eyes that don’t even cast a glance at me.
It was a nonchalant tone as always, but Do-gyun knew that there was consideration for me in it.
Sadly, up until this point, she was a generous and warm person.
At that, Do-gyun felt something tingle welling up from deep inside.
“Aren’t you pathetic?”
“What.”
“That’s it.”
She wished she had handed over the words of reprimand. I wanted you to criticize myself for not being able to do anything properly and struggling.
“Mr. Eunseol was right. I’m not ready. I even stole the key to find out something by myself, but I was relieved to find out that it was the wrong key while stabbing myself in front of the door.”
I was such an ugly person, so why didn’t you criticize me?
“I was intoxicated with the words that I was needed for a subject that I was always indebted to, so I went on a wild rampage.”
I wanted to ask why he forgave himself for ignoring the warning as if something had happened.
“A guy who didn’t do anything right was ignoring you. Aren’t you doing well? But aren’t you angry?”
So please, I’d rather you reprimand me. When I said that to her, she shifted her gaze to me.
What follows is silence.
She continued to be silent for quite a while while staring at me, then opened her mouth.
“Doing well.”
The answer that came back was another word of comfort.
My stomach feels stuffy.
I felt like I was choking on my breath, and I felt like my blood wasn’t circulating.
Her fists are clenched and her teeth are bitten. Do-gyun, whose rationality is clouded by the frustration and madness, was about to shoot.
“Therefore…!”
“A little.”
She said her
“I am doing well because I am doing well. When I speak, listen.”
A face full of annoyance. She sighed with that face, then spat out her words.
“Yeah, sorry. It’s my fault.”
When she suddenly handed me an apology, Do-kyun gasped.
The moment Do-gyun opened her mouth to say why he suddenly apologized, and that he was not the one to apologize now, she followed her.
“The word that you need seems to have put pressure on you.”
I wanted to say no. I just wanted to say that I was lacking.
However, the words that lingered in her mouth were shattered by the words she spat out.
“Is it because of this leg?”
The way he says that, pointing to my leg in a cast.
Do-gyun felt that his chest tightened.
“Do you think this is your fault?”
She continued her words, revealing the stone in my heart that I had been hiding.
“I said it before,” She said. It’s not your fault. This just happened because Ko Eun-chae was a crazy bitch. It’s not something you should feel indebted to.”
It was an irritating word. His face was also extremely frowning.
“Calm down.”
Even so, the words she delivered had a very warm warmth.
“Debt eats people up. When you feel indebted, your mind becomes impatient and your judgment is clouded. Then, in the end, make it impossible.”
It was a sharp tone, but the words penetrated into me and conveyed a gentle warmth.
“It is almost twenty years. Ko Eun-chae has lived in this body for a long time. But in just over a month, did she think it would be resolved? It is natural that there is no visible result right away. As she has said time and time again, it’s not your fault that this crazy bitch fucked her body.”
Also, it was making me lean.
“You are doing well.”
Make yourself forgive
Do-kyun was able to look her eyes at her after she finished speaking.
The eyes that contained me completely embraced an infinitely warm light.
He was a very strange person. How can they read people so well?
True to her words, her own impatience might have been caused by that leg. It might have been the anxiety that if I didn’t get rid of the koeunchae quickly, I wouldn’t end up with that bridge next.
Perhaps she was afraid that she would disappear before she could do anything about her.
The strength of the body was released.
The fist that had been tightly clenched the whole time slowly opened.
In this winter, the eyes, which were very cold, were trying to light a fire again.
Do-gyun clenched his teeth and spat out words as if muttering.
“…Sorry. Because you look ugly.”
“Stop apologizing. I don’t have the hobby of listening to you frown.”
The words he heard were, after all, full of warmth.
