Chapter 250 – 250. Confused Mind (4)
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What does it feel like to love a man?
Despite being persecuted and oppressed by humans,
Nevertheless, when she saw her older sister who loved a human being, El became afraid of her feelings of love.
Her older sister, who loved her humans, may have felt her happiness, but El, who looked at her like that, harbored her fear. This is because her older sister, who, like herself, hated humans endlessly, began to show a friendly side to humans, as if a person changed overnight.
What kind of emotion is love?
Carrying the lump in her heart, she has lived until now, dismissing that she will never blindly love a human like her older sister.
‘Love is no different from poison that makes the heart infinitely weak. It always creates sadness, tragedy, pain and shame.’
I am afraid to love someone.
It was just unfamiliar to me that I was in love with someone.
So, since El lost her sister, she has been wandering all over the continent, avoiding meeting people and forbidding herself to love anyone.
But that she
Like her older sister, she felt her longing for a human male.
“The unpredictable mind is just anxious. Like her older sister, she seems to be obsessed with a man, and I am afraid that her relationship with Ardena, whom she reconciled with after many twists and turns, will deteriorate.”
El put on a distressed expression on her face and grabbed her chest, which trembled at the slightest movement of her body.
She is only afraid of uncontrollable emotions.
Her heart of fear and fear was greater than her heart of joy and happiness.
Can I dare to love?
Can I have this kind of heart toward my disciple’s lover?
Of course I know it won’t.
Ethically and morally. He also knew that it was impossible for a master to secretly feel feelings of admiration for his pupil’s lover.
“Whoa…. I thought I would never fall in love with anyone.”
The elf woman with her pale purple hair let out a deep sigh as Kim grabbed her steaming teacup with both of her hands.
She put on an anguished expression.
It was mixed with the agony of not knowing how to soothe the lost heart.
At that, Kalen cautiously opened his mouth.
“I don’t think falling in love is a sin. Even if you fall in love with your disciple’s lover…. I hope you don’t feel ashamed of the feeling of love.”
Kalen stood up, her hands on her table.
She went behind El, who was seated.
Then, as she hugged Elle with her arms, she conveyed her feelings of affection.
It was compassionate consolation, empathy to alleviate suffering, and contained the meaning of cheering for a relationship with Yushin.
“Kalen, what the hell is love? Why does the feeling of love make my heart suffer so much? Even though I’ve come to have feelings of love, I can’t quite understand what love is.”
“It’s like a whistling wind blowing wildly. They come suddenly and leave suddenly. Even if you once loved someone fiercely, eventually that love quickly cools down.”
“Then will this feeling towards Yushin cool down someday?”
“I do not know. The feeling of love works differently for each individual. There are love that quickly cools off like the heat of the desert that cools down at night, and there are also cases that cherish eternal love like the sun rising in the high sky.”
Kalen lowered her eyelids with a wry smile.
Did she remember her late husband,
She confessed that her heart that loved him remained as a precious memory for her.
They never had children, but she was the man she loved all her life. She loved him so much that she promised to give her life for him.
She is left with a piece of memory now, but when someone asks her if it was a happy memory, Kalen responds without hesitation by saying, “Yes.” She will answer.
“Wait, then why would Mr. Gilead….”
“That’s because Yushin is as cool and handsome as her husband. He fell in love with Yushin, who fought desperately to protect countless people. Fufufu, it’s embarrassing.”
As if returning to her pre-meeting husband life, she reacted with embarrassment at Kalen, her face blushing.
Leaving her widowed husband as a memory,
It was as if he was trying to put her new love into his heart.
As she proves to Elle that her words of consolation are not mere words of consolation, Kalen cherishes her memories with her husband, yet she shows a willingness to embrace a new love.
Seeing that, El opened her mouth wide as if in shock.
“Uh, what…. Then what about her faithfulness to her bereaved husband….”
“Because my husband wouldn’t want me to suffer from regret and longing for the rest of my life. Of course, I still love her husband with all my heart. And she came to love Yushin too.”
For Elle, who has her old-fashioned way of thinking, Kalen’s bold way of thinking was like a culture that could not dare to copy.
Was it like this when a Confucian scholar of the Joseon Dynasty first encountered the splendid cultural sphere of Europe? Remembering her husband, she began to harbor her affection for Yoo-shin, and she could not help but be greatly surprised by Kalen’s appearance.
“But the age difference with Mr. Gilead….”
“Yushin and I are of different races. Who can dare to look at the evil? Besides, am I, of course, El Cid-nim, too, in his ‘heyday’ when he is full of energy and sexual desire? There is nothing to be ashamed of.”
Is it okay for her to love Yushin? At Kalen’s words, El put her shy expression on her face and poked her finger on the back of her hand across from her.
Her lips quivered.
It must be so embarrassing that I can’t control it.
She was so cute that I wanted to bite her.
Looking down at the back of El, whose ears are blushing red, Kalen is praised as a hero by the elves and recorded as a myth with the first priest. I felt again that it was not.
“Even if I say so…. El Cid-sama has such a cute and dainty body.”
Her Elle, who had been comforting her while standing behind her, began slowly lowering her hands and caressing her body.
Like foreplay before sex,
She stroked her petite shoulder and then slowly lowered her hands, massaging her petite breasts. She must have been as sensitive as she was petite, and as soon as she cooked and poked the area around her nipples with her fingers, a sweet sigh flowed from El’s lips.
“Oops…. Uh, what… !”
“El Cid’s body is very sensitive. Is it because she kept talking about Yushin? She kept smelling obscene from the tip of her nose.”
As Kalen said, El’s thick body slowly became hot every time she remembered her appearance.
Both of her legs twitched.
It was because whenever the heat overflowed from her body, her whole body became sensitive as if it were an erogenous zone.
I have experienced masturbating a few times out of simple curiosity, but that was hundreds of years ago. She was afraid of her feelings of love, and because she was an El who had never had a relationship with anyone, she had been extremely reluctant to make contact with her people, as well as to have physical relations with her.
“El Cid’s body wants a restoration. They want to make new connections through physical relationships. And I want to confess my love.”
“I-I mean… ?”
“Then don’t you want to do dirty things with Yushin?”
“No… , But not….”
Elle, who was being teased by her Kalen with her two hands, recalled her delusion of her Yushin stroking her body lovingly.
Bit her own ear,
Whispering her love in her ear while gently caressing her own breast,
She was so confused that just thinking about it made her eyes spin. But it was a mess that made her feel better. Enough that she would do anything if only she could experience such chaos firsthand.
“Then the answer has been decided. Because love only comes true when she confesses her true feelings.”
Kalen said in a confident voice.
As she withdrew her hands from caressing her el, she left her a pity for her.
Her sorrow to others,
So that she could unleash it on her beloved.
Elle, who had been caressed so densely that her head went blank, made an expression as if it had melted a lot. Her whole body was so hot that there was no way to find her usual solemn appearance.
* * *
Through her dialogue with Kalen, Elle learned and realized many things.
Her own feelings towards Yushin.
She also became more or less aware of her feelings, her love, which she had only vaguely felt.
In addition….
How El solves her sexual desire alone,
In other words, she became aware of the orgasm of the sexual gratification she called “Masturbation.”
“Huh…. Hehe… I’m sorry… !!”
The first thing Elle did was to masturbate by pulling her legs together, tightening and loosening her inner thighs, stimulating her sensitive lower abdomen.
In a way that doesn’t touch her,
She was mostly masturbating to women who, like Elle, knew little about sexual activity.
“I-I can’t do this….”
Her panties were wet.
Like the morning dew on the grass.
Even though she knew her lower abdomen was hot and wet, she didn’t stop masturbating.
Arriving at a cabin located in the forest of Valencia, in case anyone finds out, she starts masturbating for the first time in hundreds of years to recall the sexual pleasure she received from Kalen last night.
“Whoops.”
He bit her finger hard.
As if trying to mute the sound as much as possible,
She groaned excitedly, but she never let out a vulgar groan.
It was a matter of her pride. She was much respected by her countrymen, and she could not have sluts as vulgarly as her courtesans. El, who defined herself as a vulgar act that was never allowed, solved her sexual desire with a light level of masturbation through both legs.
“But her breasts… It will be… ?”
Elle, who let out a sad sigh of her own and wanted more of her sexual desire, began to massage her breasts with one hand, just like Kalen had massaged her.
The shape of her small breasts was distorted.
Her hard, lumpy nipples were teased between her fingers as she gushed out hot pleasure.
“Ahhh!!”
He squeezed his nipple between his fingers.
Elle was able to experience a pleasure she had never felt before.
It was such a great pleasure that she inadvertently leaked a vulgar groan from between her lips.
“Oh, no…. Just a little more, something that can be rubbed….”
Elle, who was leaning back on her chair and absorbed in her masturbation, looked over her table with a melted expression as if he wanted something from her.
She reached out her hand, but she had nothing to grasp.
There was no tool that could give her greater pleasure, a more exhilarating pleasure.
With light masturbation by tightening and loosening her legs, she intended to satisfy her libido, but as if she continued to drink sea water, she became madly wanting more pleasure. Sensing her sexual thirst, El instinctively sought a blunt, rounded tool that could satisfy her own desires.
“No, this… No.”
Fountain pen lying on the table.
Not the pointy part, but the other side… Notice where there is a round part.
She was El, who muttered self-deprecating words that this was not enough, but in the end, she, like a roaring fire, as if defeated by her sexual desire, which she could not control herself, she held the fountain pen upside down and stroked her cunt with it. It started tickling.
“Ah! Whoa, whoa!!”
It was a vulgar docility that a prostitute would utter.
Fully leaned back in her chair,
The elf woman with pale purple hair, her ass almost touching the floor, began to stimulate her labia with the tip of her fountain pen, prodding the ax mark visible through her panties.
“Gee, Gilead C.E…. Oh, there… ! Haha, aaaaa!!”
The master, who recalled the image of the disciple’s beloved lover,
She continued her sad masturbation, hoping that he would make fun of her.
