Chapter 35
I love you.
The words made my mind go blank.
I thought it was an auditory hallucination caused by desire.
It was as if I was underwater. I couldn't hear anything around me, my vision was blurred, and I couldn't breathe.
I was in pain, my chest ached, and my throat hurt because I was trying to hold back my voice, but I thought it might have been a dream.
But then a kiss fell from Toraga, just a touch, and it was like he told me it wasn't a dream even though it wasn't a word, and I, who had been just a little calm in my mind, muttered in my brain, “Oh, this is real.
The memories that followed were hazy, even though they were definitely with me, and in my fragmented memory I was crying loudly and clinging desperately to Toramasa.
My hands were shaking, my voice was trembling, and I still cried earnestly while shushing.
I couldn't control my feelings of happiness, and instead of thinking and acting as if I wasn't myself, my body was unconsciously moving.
It was a strange sensation, as if my throat had an ego, because I couldn't control my voice even though I was calmly trying to suppress it. It was a strange sensation, as if my throat had an ego.
Toraga held me in his arms until I calmed down.
He held me tightly and stopped me in reality.
I was so happy about that that I cried again.
It was long after that I was able to control my actions with my head.
My head hurt from crying so much, and my eyes were burning and my brain was in a daze, but I suddenly became calm and understood what I had just done and my current situation.
Toraga's shirt was wet with my tears.
I pressed the cold shirt against my face and stopped moving, not knowing what to do.
I think Toramasa must have noticed me.
He pulled my face away from his chest and gently turned my cheek up with his hand so that our gazes met.
She looked at me with a terrible expression on her face, smiled a little, and then took a tissue from the table and wiped my tears away.
I was left to my own devices for the tears, but I wiped the snot off my nose. I was dying of embarrassment.
My head was calm, but I was flustered like when I drank alcohol.
Knowing or not that I was in such a state, Toramasa made me turn my face up again with his hand so that my tears and runny nose disappeared, then slowly brought my face close and pressed his lips against mine.
That's terrible.
I had already removed my tears and runny nose, but if he did that to me, I would cry again.
Tears were running down my cheeks again.
I couldn't stop crying. Just a little bit of stimulation of my lachrymal gland causes tears to spill out. I want them to stop, but they won't.
In a situation where I would normally close my eyelids, I open my eyes and look at Toraya's face, which is right in front of my nose.
I still haven't accepted this reality that I am kissing Toraya, so I just look at him as if I were looking at something beautiful and not myself.
As I was absentmindedly looking at Toraya's eyelashes, Toraya's eyelids opened slightly in front of me, and I saw his eyes and our gazes meet.
Toraya's lips, which were against my lips, moved.
Slowly, Toraya's face moved away, and I realized that Toraya had a smile on his face.
I looked at the corners of Toramasa's mouth that were slightly raised, looked at Toramasa's lips, and my face became hot because of my brain that had accepted reality quite late.
I heard Toraga's throaty laugh in the room where the only sound was the TV.
My face heated up again at the sound of his voice.
I put my hands on my cheeks and tried to hide my reddened cheeks, but I couldn't hide them at all.
I turned my head slightly to look at Toraga's feet, and in the waves of words that flooded my brain, I chose one word and said it out loud.
I love you.
I chose that word even in this situation.
I know Toraga is probably tired of hearing it by now, but I still wanted to say it.
I knew what he would say, but I told him over and over again.
But today's reply was different.
I love you, too.
The words I had thrown at him came back with the same words.
That was enough to make me cry again.
I've always loved you, Toraga-san. I love you so much, and I was happy just to be by your side and to see you.
I was so happy just to be by your side and to see you.” As I said these words to remind myself of my feelings, Toraga reached out and took my hand, which was holding my cheek, and touched it to my cheek as if to make me look at him again.
As our gazes met, I let out another word.
'I wanted you to like me, but I couldn't imagine you liking me, so I don't know what to do now …… what to do …… “
Anxiety in the midst of happiness reveals itself.
Because I really have always loved him and had a one-sided love for him, and I thought it was a love that would never come true. ……
Certainly, with Toraga's recent behavior, I had high hopes. Deep in my heart, I thought that he might like me, and I hoped that he did. But because he didn't say he liked me, the feelings that stopped at “maybe” took a big step forward and are now standing in front of me as a large figure.
I am good at unrequited love, but since I have never had someone I truly love believe that they love me, I didn't know what I should do.
I had no idea how I should spend my time with the person I love and who is more important to me than my life.
I looked at Toraga in front of me as if I was asking for help, and he laughed and said, “I don't know either,” and stroked my cheek.
The gentleness of Toramasa's hand caressing my cheek has not changed since before Toramasa told me he liked me.
I rubbed my cheek against his hand as if clinging to it, and he continued, “So.
So,” he continued, “let's think together about what we should do.
I am a senior to Toramasa when it comes to love, but Toramasa is helping me out.
I nodded strongly, holding back the tears that were threatening to come out again.
I shook my head again at Toraga's words confirming our relationship.
The word “lover” made me itchy and ticklish, and I put all my strength into resisting my body's unexplainable urge to flail about.
What do I have to do when we become lovers?”
I opened my mouth to ask the question.
'Hold hands…go on dates, spend time together, right ……?'
I looked into Toraga's eyes as I said this, and he smiled amusedly and patted me on the head, saying, “It's not much different from what we've been doing.
I've been spending time with Toramasa and I've noticed that I've been treating him as if we were lovers, which is funny.
We laughed together for a while, and then Toraga opened his mouth, “But …….
You can do things you couldn't do before, right?”
Saying that, he looked at me with serious eyes that were different from before.
My heart jumped with a thump at the sight of those eyes and I took a shallow breath.
I don't know if what Toraga said I couldn't do before was what I was thinking.
Still, I thought that if that were the case, I would probably be even happier if I could do so with the happiness I was feeling right now.
I looked back into his eyes, put my own hand on Toraga's arm, and moved my head slightly vertically with a hint of anticipation.
Seeing me like this, Toraya slowly approached me.
Unlike my confused brain, I was now able to calmly look at reality and gently close my eyelids as Toraga approached.
I felt a soft touch on my lips in the dark world where I had lost my vision, and my whole body trembled.
I felt a soft touch on my lips and my whole body trembled in a world of darkness where I had lost my vision.
Toramasa's hands were placed around my waist, and he was pulling me closer to him.
I was so happy to be kissing the person I love, Toraga, that I felt a rush of emotions, but I was just so happy that I couldn't stand the tears flowing again from my closed eyelids.
I was so happy that I closed my eyelids and let the unbearable tears flow again.
I wanted to give up everything and live for him.
I can't tell you how happy I am to be told by someone like that that he loves me. How happy I am that my current situation is almost a miracle.
A kiss that is just a touch turns into something deeper.
Toraga's tongue enters my mouth and entwines with my tongue, and I accept it, and I entwine my tongue with Toraga's tongue.
It hurts so much that my heart feels like it's going to burst. Painful, painful, but happy.
Each time the angle of my lips changes, my mouth is violated in a different way.
Was kissing ever so pleasant?
Even though I have memories of my previous life, kissing Toraga was the best feeling I have ever had, and I was happy and full of joy.
Toraga's arm that was around my waist became stronger, bringing me closer to Toraga.
As if I didn't want to let go of him, I put my hands behind his back and held him tightly.
How long had our lips been locked together?
Suddenly, Toraya's lips parted and his lips touched the air.
I slowly opened my eyes and looked at Toraya, who was looking at me with a serious expression on his face.
I saw Toraya's lips, which had just been placed on top of mine, out of the corner of my eye. His lips, which were well-shaped, were now sexy and wet.
I was so happy to see him.
I don't say 'force'.
Knowing the meaning of those words, I nodded and opened my mouth.
I want all of you, Toraga-san.
I don't think about what will happen to me. I was given the word “love,” and I borrowed what Toraga wanted to say and conveyed my desire.
I want it all, mind, body, everything. I'm greedy, so I've been suppressing it all this time, but just now the words come out as if I'm being swept away by this atmosphere.
As my vision slowly distorts again, Toraga hugs me tightly and exhales a small breath, then hugs me sideways, leaving the TV, lights, and everything else untouched.
I was headed for a bedroom that I had been to several times before.
I was carried there, where nothing had happened many times, and I was gently lowered onto the bed.
I asked, “…… electricity, what do you want to do?”
“……I want to see Toramasa… so I want you to turn it on. ……”
As I said this, Toraga smiled just a little with a hard expression on his face and put his lips to my forehead.
'…… you can always tell me if you want to stop.'
I was so happy to see him, and I was so happy to hear his sweet voice, that my body involuntarily twitched.
A sweet numbness ran from my waist to my back.
But that was just the beginning.
After our lips met again, Toramasa's lips moved to a place other than my lips, his lips on my neck, and his tongue crawled on my neck.
The kiss was just barely holding itself together, but the moment Toraga's lips hit my neck, reality suddenly came into view.
The insecurity that should have been hidden from me reappeared.
I tried to ignore it and just concentrate on the stimulation from Toraga.
However, various thoughts came to my mind, such as whether Toraya would really get an erection from me, and whether I would really perform such an act with Toraya.
This life is certainly my first, but I have memories of a previous life, and my spirit is not a virgin either.
I know what sex is like, and I have a general idea of how it goes.
But the reason I am so anxious about all these things is because I am having sex with Toraya.
I don't want Toraga to be disappointed. What if he is disillusioned? I might not want to be a virgin.
I was about to do such an act with Toraya for the first time, but I was almost swallowed up by the thoughts that were circling around me.
I'm scared. I'm helplessly scared. ……
“Taiga, Mr. …….”
The voice calling out to Toraga trembled.
The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good understanding of what you're doing. He asked me gently with a troubled expression on his face.
No, I don't want to stop. I want Toraga. If I miss this opportunity, I don't know when the next one will be, and if something happens and I can't do it in the future, I will regret what I did today for a long time.
I shook my head and told Toraga how I felt in a voice that was inevitably shaky.
I don't want to stop. But I've been thinking a lot about whether Toramasa will be able to get …… a boner properly, and, well, I don't want to be the first woman to do that, and what if Toramasa hates me for this… …….”
When I said this, Toramasa smiled faintly, took my hand and brought it to his feet.
The first time I saw him, I knew I was in for a treat.
I'm not going to hate you, so don't think about anything else. All you have to do is look at me. ……
I'm not sure what to do with the rest of my life, but I'm sure I'm not alone.
I looked at Toraga, emptying my mind of all thoughts.
Then all the thoughts I had just had disappeared, and the word “I love you” appeared in my empty thoughts.
Toraga, I love you, I love you. ……
Oh, keep whispering your love to me like that.”
'I love you so much, Toramasa-san, my heart is about to break…….'
The first thing to do is to make sure that you have a good time with your family and friends.
The most important thing to remember is that you should not be afraid to ask for help from your friends and family.
The tongue traces my collarbone, then moves lower and lower, pulling down my zipper to expose my breasts.
I had seen my breasts the day we went to the beach, but an embarrassment stronger than that washes over me.
Toramasa's hands dexterously undo the hooks of my underwear, and the entirety of my breasts, which I have been hiding until now, are exposed to Toramasa's eyes.
My face became even redder and hotter, and I could no longer look at Toraya, so I meditated hard to block out my vision.
My body reacted greatly to the stimulation given to my chest under such circumstances. I let out an involuntary cry, which made me shut my mouth tightly, feeling even more embarrassed.
Toraga's tongue licks my breast. His hands wrapped around my breasts.
I felt a creeping sensation that never subsided.
Toramasa's tongue crawled over my breasts and then rolled over the tops of my breasts with his tongue, and my body shook again.
Toraya is licking my breasts.
Toraya is touching me.
Because it is Toraya, I can feel the stimulation even more.
It is as if my whole body has become a sexual zone, my stomach, my side, and the fingers of my hands react just by being touched by Toraya.
I react with a jolt to the stimulation given to me.
Toraga handles my body gently and carefully, as if he is slowly breaking me in.
I rub my legs together, my uterus tingling from the constant stimulation of my breasts.
Seeing my reaction, Toramasa put her hands on my hips, slid me down, and easily removed the shorts and underwear I was wearing.
I was so embarrassed at the thought that Toramasa was watching me in my newborn state, wearing nothing at all, that I tried to cover myself with a sheet, but Toramasa's hand gently prevented me from doing so.
Toramasa's hand stroked my cheek as I closed my eyes.
As if prompted by this, I open my eyes and see Toraya in front of me, and I feel more like a man than anything I have ever seen before.
The heat in his eyes is reflected in mine.
As I stared at his face, which I couldn't help but admire, Toraga's hand came between my legs, and my voice leaked out at the stimulation.
Toramasa's fingers gently stroked my secret part, and one of his fingers slipped inside.
Wet from the stimulation Toramasa had given it, it accepted the finger without difficulty.
However, perhaps because it was his first time, he could not shake the feeling of discomfort.
After the finger was slowly pulled out, it was rubbed inside.
I still can't pick up on the pleasure, but Toraga's tongue stimulates my breasts again, and as if lured by the stimulation, the discomfort down below gradually disappears.
Toramasa's fingers move in time with the sweet sounds of my exhaled breath.
My hand grips the sheets and my breath naturally becomes shallow.
When I became accustomed to using only one finger, Toraya added another finger.
I involuntarily felt my whole body tense up as I felt the pain there, which was different from one finger.
Seeing me like this, Toraya gently stroked my head.
Toramasa's gentle movements and actions, which never rushed me, made me happy and warmed the depths of my chest.
Toramasa took his time to accustom me to the inside of the house. I let Toraya do all the work, sweating from the occasional stimulation of my breasts and clitoris.
Three fingers entered my body, though it was still painful, and when I was gradually getting used to it, the fingers left my body.
I could hear the sound of clothes rubbing against my ears as I buried my face in the pillow.
As my vision was distorted by tears, I looked in the direction of the sound and saw that Toramasa had taken off his clothes and was now in the same state as me, without any clothes on.
I had seen her upper body several times before.
I had seen her upper body several times before, but this was the first time I had seen her without even her underwear on.
After a few moments, Toraya moved, and the bed swayed with her movements.
I was gently placed a hand on my thigh, and my consciousness was brought back to reality.
Toramasa's face, which was on top of me as if he was covering me, was distorted with pain as he looked at me and said, “I'm going to insert it,” as if to confirm.
My heart pulsed loudly. My heart was beating so loudly that I thought Toraya could hear it.
I was too anxious to know if I would really be able to enter Toraya's penis.
I could only shake my head in a small gesture, unable to speak due to my nervousness.
Slowly, Toraya moved.
I could feel Toramasa's object against my secret part without having to look at it.
I was so scared, embarrassed, nervous, and anxious that I tried to meditate, but Toraya put his hand on my cheek again.
I blinked my eyelids very slowly, as if he was asking me to look at him.
You can put your hand behind your back, okay?”
Instead of nodding, he put his arm around Toraga's back.
As if that was a signal, Toraya's object, which had been placed at the entrance, slowly moved into me.
The pressure and pain were incomparable to that of a finger, and I let out a muffled cry that was different from a charming cry.
Tears streamed down my cheeks due to the pain. I put my hand around Toraga's back and put strength into it.
It hurts. It hurts even though I know it hurts.
It hurts, but I don't want to say it hurts. I don't want to say that it hurts, because Toramasa might stop me.
As I try not to scream, Toramasa's lips are placed on mine.
I feel a sweet stimulation from there in a deep kiss with his tongue.
The pain in my lower body combined with the pleasure in my upper body made me desperately cling to Toraga with tears streaming down my face.
I'm scared, it hurts, but Toraga is inside me.
Tiga, san, suki, ah…… suki…”
I clutched at Toraga's lips as they parted. I'm not sure if it's a good idea or not, but I'm sure it's a good idea.
The first thing that comes to my mind is the fact that I am not sure what to do with it.
It was a short time that felt like a long time. I was able to understand that it was over when I heard Toramasa's pained voice saying, “I've inserted it,” which made my eardrums tremble.
Really, really?
Toramasa's voice sounded as if it was about to disappear, to which I replied, “Yes,” and he hugged me.
I felt a tingling pain that instantly made me love him.
Toramasa's thing was inside me. I was so happy to be one with him that my hands, which were shaking with tension and pain, trembled even louder.
I was so happy …… that Toramasa's thing was inside me.
I'm happy, too.”
I was so happy that I wiped my tears away with my lips.
…… Is it okay if I move?”
The first thing to do is to make sure that you have a good time.
I want to do it until the end. ……
I want you to do it until the end, until Toramasa comes on me. ……
I was so happy that I could do it,” he said in a small voice, “but I'm not sure I'll be able to do it again.
The pain that I had become accustomed to was once again followed by a new pain in my lower abdomen.
The pressure and discomfort, which was too big, was also better than before, even though it was the same pain, because I was happy and loving it as it moved inside me every time Toraga moved.
Toraya's hips, which had been moving slowly, became faster and faster.
I let out a few squeals of pain as I held Toraga tightly against my back and felt him with my whole body.
I felt his body against mine. “Sukisuki, Taiga-san, sukisuki …….”
The overflowing thoughts become words.
The act, which felt like it would last forever while enduring sweet and painful pain, ended when Toraya stopped moving.
I was so happy to be able to do this,” said Toraya. I felt great pleasure as Toramasa's thing pulsed inside me, and I hugged Toramasa's back with tears streaming down my face.
I felt his cock slipping out of me, and he removed the rubber band and threw it in the trash.
I'm sorry for forcing you to do this even though you're in pain. ……
I was more happy to be one with Toramasa than I was with the pain.”
I was so happy to be one with you,” he said, wiping tears from his eyes with the back of his hand.
My heart was pounding again as Toramasa rested his arms on me.
Toraya's skin is in close contact with mine, and his body heat is transferred to mine.
Was it because I was touching Toraya's warm body heat like that? Or was it because I was nervous about my first act with Toraya?
My eyelids grew heavier and heavier, and my consciousness sank deeper and deeper until I remembered that I had let out a single sigh and had rubbed my head against Toraga's chest.
