Chapter 252 – 252. A Woman Who Is Difficult to Understand 1
I left the men having an in-depth discussion about which skill to choose and went outside.
Winter. Still winter.
This year’s winter is unusually long. So much has happened, and it’s still ongoing.
I hope winter passes quickly. I hope spring comes.
I want to feel relaxed. Spring, when all things come to life. A vibrant life. I want to see new sprouts sprout even in a destroyed world.
In this way, cold air from outside is blown into the lungs.
I feel like my mind has become a sharp knife. In times like this, you have to think complicatedly.
And I regretted thinking that way.
“What are you doing?”
I’m always on the lookout, but I guess I was a little distracted because it was inside the distribution center.
I didn’t turn around because there were a lot of people around me, but… I can’t believe I couldn’t sense someone approaching until now.
Of course, it doesn’t matter because reflection is always on… If the person approaching is Jiyeon, it’s a different story.
A skill that cannot be blocked by reflection. A woman with lightning waves.
A woman who did all sorts of naughty things and was eventually sent to the warehouse.
The only woman in this room who has hatred towards me.
“Lament.”
“Lament?”
“Uh.”
“What lamentation?”
“About it’s still winter.”
“I don’t know.”
“I don’t know either.”
I don’t even know what I’m talking about. I feel like I’m just saying whatever comes out.
Why the delay? To be honest… It’s rough.
If it were other women, they would feel at least a little bit at ease because of what I generously gave them, but this woman is different.
Because I didn’t do anything good. No matter how much you look at the fault ratio, it is a one-sided relationship where the result is 100 to 0.
That kind of woman is standing next to me. She looked in the same direction as me and blew out her white breath.
If you say even one word, I will feel an exhilarating sensation and fall to the floor.
Considering what she saw when she had this woman as her bait, her lightning waves still can’t kill people at once.
But that doesn’t mean she has enough time to eat potions in that short of time.
She is definitely that kind of woman… She’s the kind of woman who could kill me right away… Strangely, I don’t feel nervous.
Why? Why don’t I feel like this woman could kill me?
“Thank you.”
“Huh?”
He asked back with an expression like that of a double-headed person at the unexpected words.
Under… Fuck. It’s such a pitiful sight.
“Thank you for bringing me here. I couldn’t even say hello properly back then.”
“Ah…”
What should I say about her appearance? Okay. Bhikkhuni. Or a nun. It looks like that.
It looks like he has become detached from something. Anyone who realized something? A person who has taken off all the burdens of his heart?
I think that’s why I didn’t think that Jiyeon could kill me.
A little… A look that feels sacred. Rather than being sacred… Neat? I don’t know. How should I express it?
Feeling organized? Is that so?
“Would you like to talk to me?”
“Okay.”
Her offer felt like something I couldn’t refuse. Without realizing it, I agreed and followed behind her as she walked ahead.
An empty greenhouse that may have been harvested. I stood next to Jiyeon who came inside.
For some reason, I don’t have the courage to face him. It feels like this is exactly where I should be standing.
No, actually, it’s not even here… I have to go outside the range of the lightning wave.
However… Why am I standing here?
“Me.”
“Yes.”
“If you hadn’t come yesterday, I would have left.”
“What?”
“Those Chinese people. I went out and tried to kill them.”
“How could you… If you had gone out, you would have died without even being able to use a single skill.”
“Well, I don’t know. I might have been lucky enough to kill a few people and die.”
“You go out knowing you’re going to die?”
“Isn’t it obvious? How could I kill all those guys and survive? I have to say something that makes sense.”
“No… What do you mean? It’s suicide, right?”
“That’s right.”
“Why!?”
“What?”
“Why did you try to die!?”
“Why can’t I die?”
I was left speechless by Jiyeon’s words. I know. Do I have the right to interfere with what Jiyeon does with her life?
I had already saved it as I wanted and left it here as if it were thrown away. And then you come now?
As I kept my mouth shut, Jiyeon slowly opened her mouth.
“Isn’t it funny? What is this skill? I heard a lot while talking to the women you saved when I came here. Production skills. Non-offensive skills. Stories of the lives of those who chose those skills so far. Of course, maybe it’s because they all have a lot of pain, but it’s all refreshing. They didn’t talk about it, but when I heard their story, I felt a little embarrassed. So I thought there was nothing I could do.”
Just listen without saying anything. No. I have nothing to say. What can I say?
“Kiyoung and Changho. I don’t blame you for killing them.”
That invisible duo back then… Are you talking about those guys?
“I’m afraid there might be a misunderstanding. Those guys aren’t people I’ve known for that long. We were just doing business with each other.”
“I thought that was why you hated me.”
“No, that’s not it. The reason I disliked you was because you were unpredictable.”
“Ah… Okay. I’m sorry about that. I don’t have anything to say.”
As for Jiyeon… I really have nothing to say. Because I also had no reason.
I just really wanted to do what I wanted. At that time, what should I say… It was a time when I was crazy and wandering.
“Why on earth… Why is it like that?”
“What?”
“They play with me, they don’t kill me, but they take care of me, then they abandon me, save me again, and leave me in a place like this…”
“That’s…”
“And… I decided to die, so why did you show up again and save me?”
“No… It was a coincidence that I came yesterday.”
“Who saved me when I almost died in Sangdong?”
“That’s… I intentionally let it go and watched it…”
“Not yesterday?”
“Ha… No. Yesterday was just a coincidence. How was I supposed to know that you would leave?”
“Still… You saved me.”
I think you’re misunderstanding me a little bit. No, it’s not a misunderstanding… What can I say, overrated? Illusion?
It feels like I’ve taken meaningless actions and pieced them together in my own way.
I think I interpreted quite a lot of things in my own way… It’s hard to even know where to start to tell people what’s wrong.
“I… That’s what I’m curious about. Why don’t you just let me die? Why are you saving me?”
“What?”
“It doesn’t matter what you did. What’s important is my life. Whether you played a prank on me or raped me… Of course, it’s not a big deal… But I don’t think it’s more important than life. But why do you keep saving me? Why? I’m curious about that.”
“Ha. It’s frustrating where to start explaining…”
“No. Just answer my question. Why did you save me?”
“It seems like you’re only seeing what you want to see right now… To be honest, it was just a whim. I just thought it would be a waste to die.”
“Ha… I really don’t know. A person like you.”
Fuck… I do not know. How on earth do you think it can be glorified like this?
“Why did you have sex with me?”
“What?
I felt a little dizzy. What is this woman talking about now?
“Yeonseo, Miyeon, Mirae, Minjoo, and Sohee. Everyone who came in after me. No one was with you. Not even Eugene or Jiwon. Same with Seohyun or Hyunjung. No one was with you. But why? Did you do it with me?”
I was mistaken… Going further and further into the mountains. Of course, no one knows what Jinyoung did to her younger sister Hyeonjeong… Seohyun… Didn’t you say something? Did she just say she was saved? Is it because of Jinyoung? The women who came after Jiyeon weren’t in such a state, but… Under. I’m going crazy.
“Jiyeon. You are mistaken. So…”
“I don’t hate you.”
Ah… I’m going crazy. It seems like the annoying hatred has disappeared… It seems like it has become more of a hassle. What do we call this? Paranoid? No, it’s not like that… Ah-oh. My head hurts. I think I’m completely misunderstanding something.
It feels like watching a runaway locomotive. Delusion and self-justification. Zoom in and fit only what you want to see.
Is this woman’s self-justification? Ah. I don’t know. It’s too complicated.
Jiyeon is definitely an attractive woman. So it’s true that I saved him. But because of my skills and what I did, I couldn’t treat him harshly.
Originally, I could have killed him, but… It was really just a whim. She just wanted to give herself a chance to live.
Moreover, since it is an attack skill, she sent it in case it could help in the defense of the logistics center.
That’s it. I’m not sure how it happened. It’s too difficult.
“Jiyeon.”
“Tell me.”
“Let me ask you honestly. I don’t like complicated things. What do you want?”
Jiyeon said nothing for a moment. After rubbing the dirt on the floor with her feet for a while, she finally opens her mouth.
“I want to know what you think about me.”
“I told you that. I think it would be a waste to die.”
“Is that all?”
“I also think it’s attractive.”
That’s true. Because I don’t date any woman.
The corners of Jiyeon’s mouth rose slightly when she heard what I said. It seems like they’re trying to be discreet, but… She is clearly visible. Under. This is it.
“Enough to want to hug you?”
Driving me crazy. In the end, is that it?
How… How can I have this kind of thinking structure?
“I did such a trashy thing and even killed the people who lived with you, and you want to be hugged?”
“I told you. I don’t blame you for their deaths.”
“Okay. Let’s say I guessed it. But what did I do? You still feel that way after something like that?”
“That’s… Maybe your tastes are weird.”
What… How did you come to that conclusion?
“Ha… It’s strange to even make excuses. It’s true that I was wrong, so I have nothing to say.”
“And… I didn’t hate it that much. I did rebel because of the circumstances at the time.”
I closed my eyes tightly.
It’s crazy. Okay. This woman is also crazy. Okay. I feel comfortable thinking that way.
It was difficult because I was trying to define something difficult for no reason.
Just as I was a very capricious crazy person, this woman was also a crazy woman who didn’t really know herself.
Ah. It feels cool inside. Solved.
Ha… Fuck. I wish it were like this.
“Even if… Even if that were the case, I can’t do this with you.”
“Why?”
The expression looking at me. The sense of detachment that I felt at first has already disappeared.
A little… An expression filled with something like a strange desire. A little… So scary.
“Your skill. You can kill me at any time. It’s actually ridiculous for me to be next to you right now. I’m anxious just to be next to you.”
“Why should I kill you?”
“Why can’t you kill me?”
Jiyeon said nothing. Rub the dirt with your toes again.
How… I don’t know why I’m doing this. To be honest, I want to get away right away.
But that’s not the case because it’s the seed I sowed… I’m only doing this because I feel a little bit of responsibility.
“Is it okay if I just cover my mouth? No… Do I have to tie my hands as well?”
Again I closed my eyes tightly. Driving me crazy. This woman… Are you serious?
Do you want me that much? Are you asking for that again after putting me through something like that?
I want it to happen to me… Oh my god. Was it something like that?
“Are you crazy too?”
Jiyeon smiled slightly at my bewildered words.
It looks like you’re serious. However… Why are you attracted?
