Chapter 104 – Family (5)
She hated the smell of alcohol from her mother.
I hated the smell of alcohol when my mother wept.
“… Bella.”
Bella.
When her mother was drunk, she always called her her Bella.
Her mother’s face, unable to see in the thick darkness of her room, leaned toward her.
A distorted smile was drawn. Isabella felt that way even though she obviously couldn’t see the expression.
“Come here. My daughter.”
Her arms fluttered open.
Isabella took her into her arms without hesitation.
The feel of the clothes her mother is wearing.
The warmth felt beneath it.
And the fishy smell of alcohol.
“… My daughter my beloved daughter.”
She rocked her body back and forth like her cradle. Isabella let her mother’s weight shake her.
Although I hated the smell of alcohol she gave off, and her unusual drunkenness.
The warmth that is bestowed at this time.
Warm words.
A slow hand caressing her hair.
It was good enough to forget about the other flaws.
“My daughter. My beloved daughter.”
“… Yes.”
As she answered her mother’s repeated words, her soft hand patted her back.
It was a warm but somehow pathetic hand.
Silently, she accepted the empty reading.
Isabella was young.
I didn’t know much about her, and the world that made up her was extremely small.
So, even if she didn’t pay much attention, the flaws in the world she lived in were all too easy to find.
One of those flaws was this moment.
Her mother alone and sad, tipping her glass.
It was at this moment that she called herself Bella.
But still.
She has been waiting for this moment every time.
“… Bella.”
The now that my mother sings with a voice filled with love and sorrow, not a softly made-up voice.
“… Yes, Mother.”
Her hand rested gently on top of her head.
“… You… Please live a life of love.”
The moment when he says something full of worry, sincerity, and regret for what he didn’t get.
“… Please, not my life.”
Not the usual elegant and noble Mrs. Gordon’s wife, but a weak and sincere woman.
Isabella was held in her arms for a long time, her uncomfortable posture, which did not consider her young and delicate body, made it difficult for her, but it was nice to be able to stick with her mother nonetheless.
“Okay, mother.”
She smiled and hugged her mother. The smell of her alcohol made her feel a bit stuffy, but she didn’t show it and talked.
“I played house with Lucia and Mason today. Lucia was the mother, Mason was the father, and I was the daughter… “
She chattered for a while and recounted what happened today. Her mother shook her head helplessly and didn’t listen to her, but Isabella didn’t care.
Tomorrow mother will forget all this and return to Mr. Gordon’s wife.
She struggles to earn her father’s love, but by her side her father never looks back at her.
“I will definitely become someone who is loved as her mother says.”
She said and buried her head in her mother’s chest.
Therefore.
I wish my mom didn’t drink her.
Isabella did not add her last words.
If she heard this, she thought her mother would start crying.
Today was a lucky day.
When Lucia, Mason, and her family arrived home, the night sky was getting dark little by little.
“Mom quickly! I’m hungry!”
Mason stopped her with a laugh as she whimpered as she stamped her feet. Her mother smiled cutely and tidied her hair.
“My daughter, are you hungry? Be patient. Mom will prepare dinner soon.”
At her words, Lucia shook her head and entered her house. Mason followed her, and her father entered the house one last time and closed the door.
A house so small that it cannot be compared to Isabella’s house.
But with her loving family there, she felt no shortage.
Surely her toys were colorful and polished like new.
Although the house was beautiful as if it came out of a fairy tale.
“…”
Lucia was trying to figure out how to explain this uncomfortable feeling she had somewhere, but she soon gave up on her thoughts.
At the time, she was too old to define and understand those feelings.
“What are you thinking?”
Lucia raised her head at Mason’s words, which awakened her in her brooding thoughts.
“Ugh, no.”
Lucia soon put her unfinished thoughts down without hesitation. She soon giggled at the touch of her Mason tickling her body, promptly forgetting what she had been doing before. And with the delicious stew her mother served for dinner, she capped off the perfect day.
Although, it was the food she ate yesterday too.
Soon after, the call made her sleepy, and she finished brushing her teeth and washing her face with Mason’s help. Lying with her sister and pulling her blanket up to her chin, she fell asleep with the voice of her father reading her old storybooks she had heard countless times as her lullaby.
No matter how many times she fell asleep, she woke up feeling uncomfortable somewhere.
“… Woo.”
She quickly recognized the source of her discomfort. She was in a bit of a bad mood, her nightgown wet with sweat from her Mason who fell asleep hugging her.
She went downstairs, moving quietly so as not to wake Mason. She was going to drink some water and go back to sleep.
However, Lucia, who was thinking of relying only on the moonlight coming through her window, noticed the soft light of a candle emanating from her kitchen.
Realizing that her mom and dad weren’t asleep yet, Lucia got up on her tiptoes and headed down her stairs.
Hoping to surprise her mother and her father, she suppressed her laughter as she secretly hid herself against her wall and peered into her kitchen.
My mother and father were sitting at the kitchen table talking. My mother was talking about something, and my father looked like he was seriously thinking about something with his arms crossed.
Shaking off her drowsiness, she strained her ears to eavesdrop on her conversation.
“… So what do you think?”
“Well, it’s nothing to argue with other people’s families, but it certainly seemed to be a problem.”
The mother looked at her father with a worried look on her face. Her father’s back was towards Lucia, so she couldn’t see his expression, but her voice sounded infinitely serious.
“You and I have been friends for a long time. How about you give me some advice as a friend?”
“I would love to, but it’s been so long now. It has changed a lot from what I remembered. I don’t want sparks flying at us if I give advice. Like it or not, Gordon has been the center of our town since ancient times.”
“I feel so sorry for Isabella. Pitiful thing. How rigid the little one was…”
Advice? Stiffness? Some of the words were too difficult for Lucia to understand, but the rest of her conversation was easy to understand.
Her mother’s words that she felt sorry for Isabella.
But Lucia couldn’t agree. There is such a beautiful house, a nice room to be alone, and pretty toys and dolls!
Then, her mother’s gaze turned towards her, and their eyes met.
“Mom!”
Her mother rose from her seat and gave her a small scream, which frightened her and made her body shake.
Her father’s body spun naturally, and soon after recognizing that she was her Lucia, he rose from her seat and approached her.
“So, why was my daughter eavesdropping on adult conversations instead of sleeping?”
Her father’s voice was sweet, but she quietly averted her eyes as she felt something poke her chest.
“I-I don’t know. I didn’t hear you. I came down to drink water.”
Her father laughed and lifted her up. Her father returned to her table with her in his arms, while her mother stroked her breasts and bruised her.
“You really thought it was a ghost!”
At her reaction, Lucia’s eyes involuntarily twinkled. In any case, she had achieved her goal of surprising her parents.
Her mother immediately poured her water into her glass and set it down in front of her, and Lucia took her glass with both hands and drank from her. The sound of running water echoed through the quiet kitchen.
Her father, who was watching her with her chin resting on her, asked, stroking her hair as she put down her glass.
“If you finish drinking, shall we go up again, my daughter?”
“No.”
She shook her head.
“Why?”
“My sister sleeps hugging me. Hot.”
“Then, shall we sleep with Mom and Dad today?”
After thinking about her father’s proposal for a moment, Lucia nodded her head. Her father hugged her again and headed for her master bedroom, and the house, which had been colored by the light of her candle, was soon plunged into darkness again, leaving behind the smell of melted candles.
After her father put her in her bed, she asked her father while he lay beside her and covered her with the blanket.
“Dad. Why do you feel sorry for Isabella?”
After confirming that Lucia was covered in her futon, her father thought for a moment and then spoke.
“Aren’t you sorry for Lucia?”
“Huh.”
“Why?”
“Yes, Isabella wears her clothes beautifully, has a spacious house, and has many toys.”
At her words, her father burst into a small laugh and stroked her hair.
“I know. There is nothing pitiful about it. Is it because she feels sorry for her mother?”
“Huh.”
“If you think Lucia is not pitiful, then she is not pitiful.”
“But why did Mama say she was pitiful?”
“That’s because each person has a different point of view.”
She wasn’t very happy with her father’s answer. Her world was quite a binary world. She was praised for doing good and punished for doing bad. Delicious stew, disgusting bugs, doll play and errands she didn’t want to do were all she wanted.
“Difficult.”
“Dad thinks so too.”
“Can I play with Isabella tomorrow?”
“Do you like Isabella?”
Is Isabella any good? It was a difficult question. By her standards, Isabella seemed a little less off the beaten path. Stuttering her words, too withdrawn. But at the same time, she wanted to be taken care of like her sister somewhere.
“I wish there was one more person when playing house.”
At her words, her father smiled.
“Dad will talk to you tomorrow. I have something to promise.”
“What?”
“It’s a secret to Isabella, to Mr. Gordon, or to Mr. Adelaide, that I pity Isabella.”
At her father’s words, she raised her eyebrows.
“Why?”
“Well, like Lucia, she doesn’t feel sorry for Isabella. What would she think if someone said she felt sorry for her?”
“I feel bad.”
“So yes.”
She tilted her head slightly. So isn’t this a lie? But she was also thinking that she shouldn’t tell Isabella somewhere.
So am I a bad person?
“… Difficult.”
“It is difficult.”
Dad said that and patted her on the stomach. Feeling the repetitive warm touch, Lucia fell asleep.
