Chapter 98 – Gaze (5)
In the middle of a busy city center. The sight of countless old papers fluttering and falling to the floor was enough to attract the attention of passers-by.
At the center of their attention was Lucia, who was standing tall.
A lot of people’s curiosity and uncomfortable gazes at the cause of the commotion were pouring out, but Lucia’s nerves were focused only on one paper.
– Lucia.
Clumsy handwriting that I probably wrote when I was young.
Lucia bent down and picked up the paper. His body wasn’t listening. As if his reaction speed had slowed several times, his actions were too slow compared to the thoughts running through his head.
She read the contract written on the paper carefully.
When is your sister coming?
I miss you. Isabella also said she would like to see her sister.
Uncle Germaine said that her sister would definitely come back, so she should grow up to be a great lady.
The kids tease her that her sister abandoned me and ran away. But I don’t believe
So you should come soon.
– Lucia.
Like an idiot, Lucia read the short, misspelled letter over and over again. As she read her letters again and again, she remembered her memories that had faded into oblivion.
Memories of being teased as an orphan by children as a child.
Her cries reached her throat, but she remembered forcing herself to cry, wanting to show her grown-up side to her older sister, who would return later.
However, in front of Isabella and Germaine, she eventually broke down in tears and expressed her sorrow.
She continued reading her letter. At the end of the letter, again from above. If you read all the way to the end, start again from above.
Then something she hadn’t noticed before caught her eye.
Burnt hands full of evidence of having been touched for a long time.
The tear marks decorating the stationery here and there, which made the letters smudge.
It was not difficult to guess who the owner of it was.
She turned her attention to the many pieces of stationery that had fallen on the floor, and picked up the nearest one. It was also a letter with traces of tears and hand marks that could be recognized at a glance.
– Sister, are you coming back?
The handwriting he wrote with his trembling hand, desperately wanting to be confirmed, of his childhood self, which trembled in fear amidst uncertainty.
As if possessed by something, she picked up the letter next to her. Perhaps a passerby had stepped on her, and there were new footprints in the dirt.
Lucia brushed off the dirt on the letterhead, but only dark marks spread over the letter. A single sentence caught my eye through the smeared stains.
-Sister. I got her hair ornament as a gift for her birthday. Thank you.
Headdress?
Lucia searched her head for whitish fragments of her memories. There was definitely a faint memory of her wearing a headdress carved with white flowers and boasting to Isabella and Becky.
Where did I put it?
That moment.
Jiik-
Lucia turned her head at the sound of paper tearing, which was small but clear.
Perhaps the foot of a passerby had chained it, and the paper lying on the floor was torn into two pieces.
The moment Lucia hurriedly ran and picked up the paper torn in two,
Bassrock.
The sound of paper sticking to someone’s feet.
Iron-
The sound of paper being stepped on in a puddle of filth.
Took-
The sound of someone throwing a paper they had picked up out of curiosity and throwing it back on the floor.
Jiik-
The sound of paper being torn.
Rustle, slap, tuk, jiik-
Rustle, slap, tuk, jiik-
Bassrock-
Iron-
Took.
Jiik-
Numerous sounds came from all directions. More sounds came from all directions than Lucia could catch.
Those repetitive sounds. The sound of her letters being soiled, torn, and thrown away was accusing her in unison.
Lucia fell to her floor, unable to support her trembling body. She wanted to turn away and turned her head to see more letters there.
The letters that are neglected and dirty one by one.
Lucia began collecting her stationery at random.
She picked up stationery at random. Her clothes, her hands got dirty, but she didn’t care. As if in a state of hallucination, she squeezed through the cracks of passers-by at random.
They reached over the letter they were about to step on, and her hand was stepped on, but she felt no pain.
The surprised passerby’s apology did not reach Lucia’s ears. Muttering an apology that I couldn’t reach even if I just handed it to someone I didn’t know.
Sorry.
Sorry.
The apology in her trembling voice was not like her own voice. It was ungainly, unstable, and weak-voiced.
But she continued to pick up her letters.
Carefully shaking off the wet letter from the puddle, fearing the paper would tear.
Listening to the annoyed bystanders who collided with them, they hung around.
The more she picked up her letters, the heavier her heart sank, and the letters she held in her hands spread their filth to each other.
While leaving irreparable damage to her again.
I picked up the broken box and put it back. The box was cracked, the hinges were missing, and the latch was broken, making the box functional.
She put the letter back in the box and closed it.
It was a pointless action.
She knew herself well.
She snuggled up against her chest as she struggled up and down the box of soiled letters. As if the box would return to its original state like magic.
She was alone on her knees by her boulevard, her face and hair, her hands and clothes soiled with filth and dirt.
For a while she hugged the box and held her breath.
The curious eyes of the passers-by caught on. Her eyes surrounded her, some of her curiosity, some of her displeasure, and some of her indifference.
But she stayed there for a while. When someone came up to her and tried to help her, she snuggled their hands away and idly hugged her box.
But in her ears, the sound of the papers criticizing her being beaten and dirty continued to ring in her ears.
Like a condemned prisoner who is harassed and booed by the crowd in front of the guillotine.
As she hugged her crumbly neck even more, she continued to mutter an apology that would never reach anyone.
Sorry.
Sorry.
When she finally woke up, quite a bit of time had passed. The sky was getting dark, and people with torches and oil were coming and going to light the nearby lampposts.
Lucia didn’t even think to brush off the dust and blackness from her body, and she walked away, her body feeling heavy.
Not the tailor she works for.
Not even the mansion where Isabella, whom she loves, is located.
To a small house at the edge of the village, which is unsightly.
To her house.
Arriving after a long delay, when she opened the door of her house, what greeted her was the cold inside of the house. A space where not even a handful of lights have been turned on, and there are clear traces of being emptied for a long time.
Only Lucia’s new footprints on the dusty floor let us know that she was only a visitor after a long time.
She took off her soiled clothes and threw them away. After changing into one of the cleanest clothes in her closet, Lucia sat at her desk and sorted through her letters. After pulling out the damaged letters she couldn’t read, she picked out the ones she could barely read and read them by candlelight.
In her letters, various stories she couldn’t even remember were written.
The story of how Jermaine got into an accident while playing with Isabella and Becky.
The story of Isabella’s dog, Roxy, being sad because she is sick.
But what was written most of the time.
– I miss you sister.
And what she didn’t miss in all her letters, even though they were old and dirty letters, were the tear marks that she could see as clearly as Lucia.
After a long time, she put her letter down. Suddenly, the house was immersed in pitch-black darkness, and only the melted candles struggled to give out their last light.
Lucia got up quietly and searched the drawers in her room.
In the most intimate place in the bottom drawer, the letters she had received could be found there. At a glance, it was far fewer than the letters on the desk.
Clearly, even though we exchanged letters one by one,
Mason’s letters she kept were pitifully few.
“…”
Looking blankly into the drawer, Lucia suddenly noticed that something was strange.
She opened all her drawers again and looked for them, but when they didn’t come out, she took out the drawers and turned them over.
There was no
Lucia jumped off her chair and headed for her closet. She searched the closet, then under the bed, then through the bookshelves, but she couldn’t find what she was looking for.
The white flower-carved headdress that Mason had given her was nowhere to be seen.
Lucia sat down in the messy room and stared blankly at her empty space. Until all the candles have melted and faded, and the smell of melted beeswax lingers through the darkened night.
I am.
What have you done?
In her humming head, that thought of hers did not leave.
As if to endure the karma you’ve done.
The next morning, Lucia didn’t show up for work.
The next day, and the day after that.
The days of putting together torn letters, drying wet letters in the sun, and blankly gazing at the sky, blaming myself continued.
Until one morning, I suddenly heard the door open.
When she raised her head to the unusual sound in Lucia’s ears, Grace was standing there.
Her golden eyes fixed her eyes on Lucia, and a small smile crept onto her lips.
“Still, I guess you weren’t a beast.”
Lucia didn’t react. She just held the letter in her hand tighter as she watched the stranger enter her house.
“…This letter. Where did you get it from?”
“Your sister told me about it. She says it’s her treasure.”
Treasure. The word became a dagger and stabbed her in the chest. Grace habitually pulled out her chair and sat down while she looked down at her letter in silence. Grace looked at her for a long time before opening her mouth,
“So.”
Lucia involuntarily flinched, and her Grace gave a small smile.
“Now what are we going to do?”
“…”
Lucia was silent for a long time in response to her question.
She has committed an unforgivable sin. To escape Isabella’s grasp, she was too deep in the quagmire.
But if you give up everything like this.
“…I want to apologize.”
“And?”
“…I have to make it right.”
At her answer, Grace burst into laughter. The sound of a cool laugh echoed through the house, and then suddenly stopped with the serious Grace.
“No. Correct something. The person who already made Lee Ji-kyung come out.”
She leaned her head toward her Lucia, snuggled up against her desk. Lucia didn’t have the confidence to meet her sparkling golden eyes, so she lowered her head and trembled.
“Listen.”
Grace extended her index finger.
“One, you cooperate in getting Mason out of Isabella.”
Then, showing her middle finger, she spoke again.
“And get off.”
When Lucia raised her head belatedly at the unexpected words, she could see Grace with a cold expression.
“Don’t even think about being next to Mason while pushing your petty guilt, guilt, and regret.”
Her expression was more serious than ever, cold, and she watched Lucia heavily.
“Even if she stops it, even if she forgives you, as long as you have a conscience that’s small enough to be invisible.”
Lucia started to shake her body.
“Don’t show up in front of Mason again. I don’t care if you live alone in the countryside, or with a stupid man, or if you commit suicide at the foot of the mountain.”
Her voice whispered low.
“You disappear just like that. Okay?”
Lucia quietly, trying not to lose her mind,
He nodded her head slightly.
