How to Live With a Broken Saint 15

Chapter 15 – Scar (1)

Mason took a spoonful of Cianna’s stew and brought it to his mouth. The warmth and taste of the warm stew spread in my mouth and soothed the fatigue of the day.

“Delicious?”

He smiled at Sianna’s question and nodded her head. Sianna’s cooking skills were improving day by day, but she always asked if she was still not trusting herself.

Cianna put on a relieved expression and began to eat her stew little by little. Mason ate her meal and looked at Cianna, who sat across from her. Even though she was napping, her soft off-white hair was a little tousled.

Haven’t you been sleeping well lately? When she thought about it, she couldn’t even see her off because she was sleeping last time, and maybe it was because of her mood that her under eyes looked a little puffy.

“Siana, aren’t you overdoing it these days?”

“Huh? No. I’m just a little tired.”

Siana answered me and started eating her meal again. She wanted to ask Sianna about this and that, but she was a little cautious, fearing that Sianna would react as fiercely as she did the last time.

“Um… How are you and Isabella doing these days?”

“…Huh. Although Becky came today, not Isabella.”

She didn’t react as violently as last time, but she replied in a blank voice, stirring the stew in her bowl with the spoon she was holding in her right hand. As if she was lost in other thoughts.

“Becky? I haven’t seen Becky since I’ve been here, but you two are still good friends.”

Cianna’s heart skipped a beat when she heard Mason’s words.

Mason knows that Becky and Isabella are friends. You don’t know the relationship between the two yet.

Thinking that way made her feel a little better. Becky and Isabella’s relationship, which Mason does not know. A secret that no one knows between ‘friends’.

-Me and Isabella are lovers.

Lover. Again she felt her face heat up as she recalled the story Becky had told her.

“Mason.”

“Huh?”

“Mason, by any chance, has she ever been in a relationship?”

At that moment, Mason almost dropped her spoon, which she was carrying to her mouth. The topic that Shiana suddenly brought up was embarrassing.

Romantic relationship?

Of course, Sianna was no longer a saint, and her Order of Life was tolerant of love and marriage among its members, but when the word ‘dating’ suddenly came out of her mouth, she was taken aback. After calming her frightened heart a little, she answered her words.

“…No.”

Maybe Becky was talking about something. Becky, at best, he was interested in those things, at worst, he was a vain child.

In response to my answer, Shiana asked the question again with a blushing face.

“Then… What about love?”

What the hell was Becky talking about? Sianna sighed inwardly, thinking about her a little.

“Siana, what kind of love are you talking about?”

On the contrary, Shiana seemed bewildered by my question. When she said that she was her love, as she was once her saint, she seemed to know nothing but the love bestowed upon all things by God.

“I don’t know. Becky says, I love Isabella.”

This time Mason really dropped the spoon. Silence reigned in the kitchen with a clear clattering sound. I stared blankly at the confusion on Siana’s face.

What the hell was Becky talking about? He hesitated as to what to say as he placed his hand on his forehead, where the headache was beating. Because Sianna’s meaning of love might be different from what she thinks it means.

Carefully, I asked Siana again.

“…Can you tell me how you feel about being with Isabella?”

“Well, being with Isabella… Be honest.”

“Are you being honest?”

“Yeah, I feel comfortable and I like that I can feel that Isabella cares about me. She also thanks Mason for helping me get back on track. I was upset because I felt a little taken away when I brought Becky the other day.”

“…Is that all?”

“Huh.”

At Shiana’s last reply, Mason secretly stroked her chest. As she relaxed, she let out a little laugh. She slowly explains to the still puzzled Sianna.

“Siana. Love has many forms. The love that parents feel for their children, the love that friends feel for their friends, and the love that lovers feel for each other. Maybe Becky was talking about the love she feels between friends?”

That might have been a little bit of an answer. The moment she picks up a spoon that has fallen on the floor with her heart,

“…Then what is the love that lovers feel for each other?”

Mason jumps up and slams her on the back of the head on the kitchen table. After her little bit of tingling pain and fuss, she evades Cianna’s question.

“Umm… I’ve never been in a relationship, so I don’t know, but if we don’t have each other, I want to see you… I keep thinking of you, isn’t it?”

Sianna’s expression looked a bit confused, but she opened her mouth.

“Mason.”

The moment Mason swallowed her dry saliva.

“Love you.”

Unable to hide her surprised expression, Mason widened her eyes and looked at Sianna.

Her dark green eyes of her cyanna were looking at her. Her face was flushed and her lips were quivering, but the three syllables she had just uttered made it clear that she loved Mason, she said.

“…Can I ask what the meaning of love is?”

Mason kept her voice as nonchalant as possible, but he couldn’t stop her from splitting at the ends. Her unknown emotions surged up. Sianna didn’t notice her, so she started talking slowly.

“What do you think of when you think of Mason… I’m so sorry. And thank you. She’s been angry every day for a while, but she’s so grateful to Mason for always trying to accept and understand.”

Shiana began to play with her hands on her lap, sorting her thoughts through her head. Once she started talking, it was as easy as a dam burst, she said.

“Everyone stayed by my side until the end even when I left five years ago, cared enough to bring me back to my hometown with me, and even tried to get a job for me even while bending my pride…”

“How do you…”

Mason choked her and her eyes began to heat up.

“…Isabella told me. From then on, cooking and seeing off Mason in the morning started. Thank you so much and I’m sorry. So I wanted to repay you.”

If there are many kinds of love, this feeling I feel must be love too.

“I love you Mason.”

Cianna felt her refreshed, and a smile came to her lips. It had been a while since she had a really sincere smile without any discomfort.

“Siana…”

Mason slowly approached Cianna. Many complex emotions welled up. She wanted to give her answer to Mason Doshiana. Thank you for saying that. I’m glad you finally got over your wounds.

I love you too

Legs were weak. She got down on her half-knees as she sat in her chair, pulled her back and buried her head in her chest. The sentence she wanted to say was cut off, and she was unable to speak at the end because of her crying, which kept interrupting her, but Ciana calmly hugged Mason.

That night.

Sianna sat quietly on the bed and remembered what had happened that day at her mealtime. Finally, after five years and months, she apologized to Mason for the first time. No, she wasn’t even an apology after all. A really embarrassing confession.

Sianna, as she always did five years ago, she brought her hands together in prayer and brought them to her mouth. Feeling the touch of her lips at the tips of her fingers, she whispered once more.

“…I love you, Mason.”

In her mind, it felt like her breasts were being poked with her fingers.

Cianna felt sorry and grateful to Mason, and of course she was sincere.

She just said no more than that.

Thinking of her at night and messing around with herself would be a different kind of love she talks about.

Shiana released both of her hands from which she was holding her high, and gently brought her right index finger to her lips.

Earlier that evening, as Mason cried and hugged her Sianna, she had secretly kissed her warm brown hair on her lips. So that she doesn’t notice her, she’s very shallow.

Siana was confused even herself. What kind of relationship does she want to have with Mason? Could she simply envy the bond between Isabella and Becky?

Shiana shook her head.

It wasn’t. She didn’t just envy the bond she had, she had a vague idea that she wanted a deeper relationship with Mason. She just didn’t want to face it herself.

Shiana got out of bed, left the room, and carefully opened the doorknob of the door across from her. Mason said she was already asleep because of the hard work. She looked for a moment at the soft breathing and the regular rise and fall of her bed.

She lifted her tiptoe and she crept over and stared at her mason’s face resting on her pillow at the head of her bed. The pale moonlight coming in from her window made her face look even more beautiful.

Cianna brought her lips gently to her forehead. Feeling the touch of her smooth forehead on the edge of her lips, she lingered there for a little longer.

Side-

As she raised her head with a faint sound, Mason’s eyes trembled.

Shiana felt her heart skip a beat, feeling strangely excited at the same time. Her nervousness that she shouldn’t do something, that she was caught cheating, and at the same time, she wanted Mason to know about her own hidden feelings, by revealing her misconduct.

“…Siana?”

She said in a sleepy voice to Cianna, who stood half way up Mason, trying to hide her beating heart.

“…What’s going on at this hour?”

Cianna let out a sigh of relief and disappointment at the same time. The moment she hesitated, she wondered what she should say, was it because of the pale moonlight, or because the heat of the previous evening was still lingering. She put her little desire in her mouth.

“…Can I sleep with you?”

Cianna was grateful that Mason couldn’t see her face in the dark. Her face must have been as hot as a blush.

Mason stayed there, not reacting. At the moment when Sianna was a little worried that she might have fallen asleep, Mason lifted the covers with her light sigh.

Cianna slowly laid herself on Mason’s bed and covered herself with the blanket. Covering her with the blanket, she felt the warmth of the soft air warmed by Mason’s body so far. She lay with Mason in the same bed, feeling Mason’s warm body at the end of her right arm.

Mason was lying facing the wall opposite her. She must have been very tired, and before she knew it, she began to hear regular breathing again.

Cianna quietly hugged Mason from behind her so he wouldn’t wake up, and she secretly kissed her collarbone that peeked through her nightgown. As she did to Mason’s forehead. Quietly, for a long time.

“…I love you, Mason.”

Cianna whispered low enough that she couldn’t hear, and she sat on Mason’s back as she fell asleep.

Mason had to control her throbbing heart, feeling her slender arms around her waist and Cianna’s breath brushing the nape of her neck.

Maybe it was because she still had the habit of being a knight and easily woke up from her slumber.

Or it could have been because of what had happened this evening.

Maybe it’s because when she was training to become her knight, she got sick of chatting with the other trainees and pretending to sleep.

When she heard the door open, Mason said she had habitually pretended to be asleep. She was thinking that if Cianna spoke her words, she would wake up, but she kept pretending to sleep, wondering what she was going to do that silently killed her footsteps.

What I felt next was a long kiss on the forehead. It was the feeling of soft lips.

Mason had to put all her nerves into not waking up in surprise. But she said yes, so she couldn’t even leave Sienna alone. So she acted like she just woke up. She hopes that she will feel ashamed of her actions that she has done, or that she will go back to her room in her thrall.

But nothing like that happened. Ciana would rather sleep next to her. She struggled with her rejection for a while, but in the end Mason couldn’t get her out.

Because I didn’t want to make it difficult for Siana, who is gradually regaining her stability after her collapse.

But the moment she kissed her on the nape of her own neck and whispered that she loved her.

Mason realized that her professed love for her Sianna was quite different from his.

No siana.

Please, if there is more unsaid feelings in the love you said.

She tries not to recall nightmares from the past, and Mason has no choice but to pretend she is sleeping until Cianna falls asleep soundly.