Chapter 82 – 82. Abandonment
“I really enjoyed the meal.”
“Ah, yes. Go in and rest, brother.”
“No, I have to clean up after myself. You prepared the rice.”
“All right. My brother did it every day when I took the exam. I will do it today.”
“⋯Well, okay.”
First, finish breakfast and lunch, then get up.
I let go of the hand I was holding and walked to the bathroom and wiped every nook and cranny of her body.
Weird.
It’s strange that it’s only my sister and two at home, and I don’t think it’s strange.
⋯In fact, I think it’s even weirder to think that way.
I don’t feel like that today.
I wanted to fall asleep, so I stopped thinking and collapsed on the bed in my room, but of course sleep didn’t come.
Thinking it was because of the glare, I closed the blinds, but my eyelids still didn’t feel heavy.
I think it’s because I slept so much that my head hurt.
In the end, while I was lying down staring at the ceiling, the door opened without knocking.
My brother in my t-shirt, shorts and a cardigan.
Winter as usual.
I just watched it, but a smile leaked out for some reason.
“What if I come in without knocking?”
“Do you need something like that between us, brother?”
“Maybe you’re spending some time alone.”
“Eh, where am I?”
“⋯Can I take it that way?”
I get up from the bed and walk towards my brother.
In fact, I have no intention of doing much.
Mama comes back before dinner too, and she’s not ⋯ very dissatisfied.
That doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to be with her brother.
I want to be with you
I want to play with you,
The desire to live together has never changed since the day they crossed the line.
Probably will never change in the future.
“It means her sister is obviously hanging around the house, and her brother can’t be.”
“Did we ever need the word between us?”
“⋯Did you really mean that? Perversion.”
“⋯It’s only the two of us, but that’s what it means to keep touching you like that, right?”
⋯I really didn’t mean to.
Seeing you scrape it this far, I’m a little sorry that you didn’t do it.
I took a step closer to her and stretched out her arms to lay her down on the bed, but
This time, her brother shook her head and expressed her disapproval.
“It doesn’t mean that. ⋯I haven’t eaten since yesterday, so that’s today.”
“⋯ Then what is it?”
“I thought you looked tired… And I thought you’d sleep if I left you alone, so I came to wake you up.”
“If you sleep, you’re sleeping. What wakes you up?”
“⋯Don’t you think sleeping alone is petty?”
“⋯.”
“Since you didn’t answer the phone yesterday⋯, ⋯make up for it.”
She takes a step closer to her sister and extends her arm.
With one hand on her head and one on her waist, she pulls her brother into her arms.
I step back and go back to bed and lie down.
My younger sister, who has become like crushing me, squirms her, gets off me and moves her body to the corner of the bed.
I also turn her body over and follow her brother.
Face to face, cover the blanket,
Sleeping on the same pillow,
After sharing the first kiss of the day, they hug each other until they are slightly out of breath.
⋯ Ha.
Now that I smell your scent, I feel like I’m going to be sleepy.
“Would you like to sleep together for two hours like this, winter?”
“Sleeping is a bit… Well, I just want to stay still like this. ⋯Because it’s dangerous again if you do it like last time while sleeping.”
“⋯Yes.”
We couldn’t even take a nap properly, so we yawned slightly.
⋯ Is there any answer?
What should we do?
Even though it wasn’t mixed with lust,
Just sharing my body temperature like this makes me feel comfortable and happy.
While we closed our eyes and drank plenty of each other’s body odor,
Her brother cautiously opened his mouth.
“⋯Hey, brother.”
“What.”
“We decided to go abroad later…”
“⋯Uh.”
“Will it be okay if I go?”
“⋯.”
Will it work?
Can two siblings live in a foreign country without knowing anyone?
I haven’t lived my life with a big feeling of lack until now.
Can we get through when things go wrong?
“Winter.”
“Huh.”
“⋯I honestly don’t want to go abroad.”
“⋯.”
“Assuming the two of us are going to immigrate… Who will understand?”
“⋯.”
“Wouldn’t the two of them know everything if they lived together there for a few years? ⋯That we have a suspicious relationship.”
A brother and sister who always stuck together without a boyfriend throughout college.
The brother and sister say that one day, the two of them will immigrate together.
After leaving, they do not return to their home country for several years, and even the news is not well received.
I barely got in touch and met again after a long time, and the brother and sister who still live together,
Who the hell can understand?
Who will be fooled?
“I guess so…”
“⋯Other people may not know, but mom will definitely notice.”
“Yes.”
“Your aunts would know…And your older brothers and sisters would know.”
You don’t need to be understood by others.
I don’t care if people look at me strangely.
As long as others don’t say anything to us, we can ignore the level of gaze.
But,
You can’t do that to your family.
To them we are clever nephews,
They are cute cousins and sisters,
It won’t hurt even if you put it in your eyes
Because they are babies.
“Even if you go there and say you’re making new friends…It’s still like brother and sister. We.”
“Yes.”
“If I create a new identity and live, I won’t really be able to come back. ⋯Then you’ll never see your mother again, probably.”
Even if we go abroad, as long as we don’t touch something illegal, we’re brother and sister.
If you run away like that, you’ll never come back.
Even if we can live as if we are not siblings,
The fact that blood flowed never changes.
Because they are siblings, I fell in love with them
You shouldn’t like them because they’re siblings.
At last,
You can’t get away from the fact that you’re brother and sister.
“⋯No matter where we go, there is no place to accept us. I think it would be better to stay here where we can communicate.”
“⋯.”
As long as we run away wherever we go, we have no place to rely on but each other.
It is inevitable that it will become clear as you build friendships and relationships with other people.
The fact that we are in a relationship that no one acknowledges.
Not cousins,
One mother or one father is not even the other.
The love between siblings that is taboo no matter where you go.
It was a foolish idea to run away.
“⋯But, well, if I stay here, I’ll live well somehow. My college did well… And I’ll do well to get a job. Yes? Because they are my mother’s children.”
“Yes.”
If the fact that they were siblings was something that could be hidden,
Perhaps no one has ever heard of it.
There are already too many people doubting or being sure between us.
What will happen if you go abroad?
Not at all.
Unless the two of you live in a corner all your life,
It doesn’t change at all that you have to live with your heart racing wherever you are.
“It’s nice to live in Korea. Either keep living in this house, or somehow find a house. If we raise a cat and a puppy, support each other and stir-fry each other… We’ll be able to live well…”
“⋯.”
Don’t even expect
Getting married and having children was not in my mind before I crossed the line with you.
Therefore,
Because they were siblings who had no intention of getting married from the beginning.
It’s just… It’s okay to live alone, so to the extent of living while stroking and caring for each other…
Aren’t you okay?
“⋯Don’t cry, brother⋯.”
“What am I… I’m crying…”
⋯ I don’t cry.
My brother is cheating
I’m happy now, why are you crying?
Taking a nap cuddling with her beloved sister.
I feel good when I eat a good breakfast.
So I can’t cry
It’s your brother who cries, not me.
“Let’s just live in Korea… Oppa…”
“⋯Yes. ⋯You have to live with your mother, we.”
“Yes.”
“Mother wouldn’t be lonely without us… Even if you have a lot of friends in Amman…”
“Yes.”
No matter how unfilial and foolish you are,
Rather than abandoning her mother and running away, it might be better to pretend not to be around her.
We’re big in body and we’re still kids with brains, so we’ve never met a proper person.
I can’t make a boyfriend because I don’t have enough social skills and I can’t date.
Mom, I look good. He also looks pretty.
Both of them have high eyes, so they can’t get married.
Let’s just live together
⋯Other than this,
We have no options to choose from.
“If my aunts say something…, Let’s use it as a shield to answer. Wouldn’t it be okay if Yohan said, “My older brother isn’t getting married, so we can’t do it either?”
“⋯.”
“My sister is also… Still single. Since you don’t seem to have any intention of getting married yet… If your sister says something, let’s refute it right away. Sister, get a boyfriend first and then get married.”
“Yes.”
“⋯Ignore everything other people say. You don’t have to worry about what others say. I just had to take care of my family. ⋯If you care about people you don’t know, you can’t live because it’s difficult.”
“⋯Yes. OK. Brother.”
I feel like my head is about to explode
Even the future I’m drawing right now is so unstable and precarious that I already doubt whether this is a possible imagination.
In the meantime, if you tell me to pay attention to others and live,
I can’t stand it any longer.
“⋯I went with English for no reason, me.”
“Why. English is good Aren’t you pretty good in middle school?”
“You don’t need to learn English…”
“Because you don’t just learn English to emigrate. ⋯ Instead, let’s go on overseas trips later. I go with my mom, and we often go by ourselves.”
“Yes.”
“If you don’t want to get caught… You won’t be able to do this often at home. The world is good these days. Because there are many places to go to play here and there. ⋯Let’s not run away and do well, we.”
“⋯Yes, let’s do well, brother⋯.”
This was the only thing the two of them could do together.
I can’t even hug you,
I can’t even kiss you,
It was a future where we couldn’t sleep together in peace,
It’s okay though.
It’s not like you can’t do it at all. Not committing a crime.
Our country doesn’t put you in prison just because you love your younger brother, so you can tolerate that much.
If everything in the world goes your way, there will be no stimulation.
It wouldn’t be bad to live in hiding to some extent, since it would be a factor that we wouldn’t get tired of each other.
I’m sure it will.
I hope so.
So that we can protect that future,
Prayed fervently together.
