Chapter 71 – 71. New Year
One hour until the New Year.
On the bed in my sister’s room, not mine.
You, without a single thread, hiding under the blanket, with only your head sticking out.
At least I was wearing a pair of panties.
Both laughed bashfully and burrowed into the blanket lifted up.
Inside the nest warmed by body temperature, perfect for sleeping.
An indescribable feeling.
Emotion.
Love was like this
Sexuality, dominance, possessiveness.
Ugly feelings you shouldn’t have towards your sister.
Family love, sibling love, father love.
A normal feeling that would be okay to have with a younger sister.
A strange mixture of oil and water.
Even if it is a lethal dose of poison,
It was so exciting that I couldn’t stop.
I caress your skin, which is much softer than a pillow or blanket.
It’s cute to see her giggling as if it’s itchy, and now she bursts into laughter when she teases her more mischievously.
Gently tickle her until she sheds tears, and when she gets tired, gently hug her from behind.
Heart beats pounding
Kong-dak-dak-dak.
The proof that I am alive is clearly transmitted to my chest and hands.
Similarly, the evidence that I am alive also came through your back at a certain speed.
Hold your breath for a moment and feel each other’s presence.
Throbbing.
Slightly faster than the sound of the second hand turning.
Towards the end of the year,
Been together all along
“⋯Brother. I’m sleepy?”
“No. You slept a lot earlier.”
“I suddenly didn’t say anything.”
“I kept quiet because I felt like I shouldn’t talk.”
“⋯What is it? I know how to read the atmosphere.”
“I am also a growing person. It’s different from yesterday’s me.”
I inhale your body odor a little more deeply.
It’s been a while since I washed it, but the smell of shampoo still lingers.
Sweet fleshy smell. Faint smell of sweat.
If my sense of smell is not paralyzed, even my smell that I can clearly feel.
Mixed in various ways.
“⋯You know, brother. Actually, my birthday isn’t over yet?”
“It’s not past 12 yet. What are you talking about?”
“It doesn’t sound like that. I heard from my mother that I was born at night. It’s past 11:50.”
“I know that.”
No, I am a family too.
It’s your brother real brother
Even if nothing you do suits you.
“Oppa, you were a baby back then, how do you remember?”
“I don’t remember, but I heard from my mother. Of course.”
“⋯Anyway. So it’s still before 12 o’clock. Then my birthday isn’t over yet.”
“⋯If you insist on it, it is.”
“So…Can I ask you one favor until next year?”
“What.”
My little brother who was held in my arms snorted lightly and twisted around me.
Then he looks straight at me and speaks in a whisper.
“I want to kiss you. All the way. Until next year.”
“⋯Kiss?”
“If you kiss all the way from 50 minutes until midnight. ⋯You’ve been connected to your brother for as long as you’re two years old.”
“⋯.”
“⋯No?”
⋯ Ha.
Cute.
Lovely.
Not in a sexual sense,
Just⋯ something cute.
Feeling like a sister?
It’s funny to say things like this to a real sister, but
Other than that, there was no other way to explain it.
“You really like kissing. ⋯Does a kiss feel that good?”
“My brother loves having sex with me too. Then oppa, why does he like it so much?”
“Just what. There are also things that feel good. Oh, it makes me think that this is mine.”
“Me too… It kind of feels like that.”
“Tell me straight. Don’t make me say something embarrassing.”
“If you tell me, oppa will go into heat again, so I won’t.”
“I can’t even get into heat right now? It was empty. Completely.”
“Really? Isn’t that just what you said and you’re going to do it again?”
“I can’t because it hurts. Say it.”
“⋯Okay.”
After rolling her eyes for a moment, she calmed down with a big, big, and then said,
He clung to me again and whispered in my ear.
“If I kiss you too…”
Even though they’ve done everything they shouldn’t, they’re still ashamed.
“Oh, this person really likes me. ⋯ I love you. You want me this much, this person will protect me.”
Thank you for loving me
The way you love me so much that I am grateful.
“⋯I wondered if I could give everything to this person⋯. The head becomes fluffy. I don’t think of anything other than my brother and I’m happy… I like kissing him. To the point where I want to continue.”
It shouldn’t be.
It is morally reprehensible.
It goes against humanity.
People around you will be unhappy.
What the hell does that mean?
We are so happy
The moment you care about other people’s eyes,
We would be unhappy
“⋯Brother is in heat again.”
“Why. I’m fine.”
“There, .. It got really hard.”
“It can’t be helped. I am stuck like this.”
“⋯Just kiss me. Because I washed it.”
“Are you going to hug me too?”
“That’s an extension of a kiss.”
“Sex is also an extension of kissing.”
“Really, do it in moderation… I don’t even remember how much I did today.”
“I will not. Am I sick too? ⋯Let’s do it next year.”
“Didn’t you just say that and do it right after 12 o’clock?”
“Because I don’t. Are you saying it like you really want it to happen?”
“⋯Not now. Do it later.”
As soon as he finished speaking, he looked at the clock hanging on the wall.
11:37.
I don’t know if it’s short, but I won’t say anything if it’s long.
Steal your lips right away.
Tongue-free, sweet kiss.
“⋯Isn’t it time yet?”
“You didn’t ask for 10 minutes.”
“Brother, wait a minute. ⋯Set the alarm.”
My brother reaches out and fiddles with his cell phone.
I set the alarm for 12:00 and put my phone back on my bedside.
“It’s New Year when the alarm goes off, so until then.”
“⋯It’s okay. For the new year.”
“Again, no sex. ⋯That’s next year.”
“Are you celebrating the new year by having sex on your birthday next year?”
“⋯I’ll go and think about it then. Only this far for now. Take care of your brother too.”
“…Was there such a thing as good between us?”
“There is! ⋯ Anyway. I won’t do it all.”
What⋯,
Even if we crossed the line, we haven’t done everything we could do together.
There are many things I haven’t done yet and many things I want to do.
What needs to be done,
What you have to go through,
No obstacles to overcome, no trials, no pain.
Have to overcome everything
“⋯Brother. Let me tell you one thing before we kiss.”
“What.”
“I was very happy today… But I was a little anxious.”
“Which one?”
“I was worried that this time would continue. ⋯I was a little worried that if I did too much, my brother would get tired of me.”
“⋯Aren’t you looking at me as trash?”
“It’s trash. ⋯Dog crap.”
It’s so upsetting to be dealing with garbage every day.
It’s true, so I can’t refute it.
Still, this is trash that can be recycled.
I didn’t do anything wrong except that the person I fell in love with was my younger brother.
Really.
“So, what can I do?”
“Well… They say relationships always need stimulation, right? So, as slowly as oppa wants… Do that.”
“⋯Could you clarify?”
“Like today, while using honorific words. Sometimes I try on things like clothes. I wish my brother would teach me how to speak or something like that step by step. ⋯ Just make sure not to break each other’s bean pods. Slowly ⋯oppa, color it.”
“⋯Can it be my color?”
“Huh. In my brother’s color. ⋯ As your brother wants. Let each other not get tired of each other. Teach me slowly over the course of my life. I will not study separately and learn as you teach me.”
⋯What if it’s trash?
What if the person you like is your sister?
It’s so lovely.
“⋯You’re too smart for not studying.”
“That’s right, I know my brother to some extent. ⋯You like that kind of thing. A supreme and pure love for only one person in a lifetime. I’m very happy if you touch me with a desire for exclusivity.”
“That’s what everyone likes. How popular is sorrowful love.”
“⋯Actually, there is no such thing. Originally. Like a normal relationship, dating, having fun and breaking up. Because that’s what it is.”
“Then are we different?”
“Because we are not dating.”
It’s not love.
⋯It’s not love.
Because siblings can’t date each other.
Death or death, brother and sister.
Forever.
“Adjusting to each other while dating can go back after breaking up… But we are siblings. Because I’m not in love ⋯I can’t go back now, brother.”
“⋯I don’t even want to go back.”
“Huh. So…”
The end of the year is getting closer.
The end of this relationship is getting farther and farther away.
Far faster than the speed of time,
No matter how fast you run, you can’t see the end.
Time will stop when you die,
The relationship between brother and sister will never end.
“⋯Teach me well. Brother.”
“⋯I’ll teach you slowly so you can follow.”
Now you can tell just by looking at the eyes.
After saying these words, they put their lips together.
No matter who comes first.
The beginning is sweet.
Increasingly sticky and bitter.
No longer covet each other
Just check
That you are here,
Make sure I’m by your side
With the kiss I learned from you
With the kiss you learned from me
The minute hand shakes,
The time you were born passes,
The end of the year is coming to an end.
With eyes closed, the two of them confirmed each other’s location.
Stroking the tongue,
Stroke your hair,
Pat the back and pat it.
The moment your heart beats twice as fast as the second hand,
An alarm goes off.
Get away for a while and open your eyelids.
We are here.
Still.
“⋯Happy New Year. Brother.”
“Happy new year. Winter.”
The year is over.
The new year has begun.
But having you by my side
It hasn’t changed at all.
